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In an effort to try to make friends after moving to a new city,

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Thread replies: 34
Thread images: 4

In an effort to try to make friends after moving to a new city, i started playing in a weekly game night at a local game. It's been about a year and everyone seems to like me well enough though no one invites me to hang out outside of the games. There's even someone I've had a crush on that i thought might like me too.

That never bothered me until tonight when someone started openly talking about a party and it quickly became clear i was one of maybe two people not invited. The host even stiffened when they brought it up like he was bracing for awkwardness. I pretended like i didn't hear or care because I'm a cuck like that, but I'm devastated and crying a bit.

What do i do? Do i stop going to game night and try to invest my time and attention elsewhere? Do i try to be more likeable and open? I'm feeling kind of childish right now so i don't want to make any decisions, but I'm fucking stung to the core.
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>>18149006
Why don't you ask people to hang out? It's a two way street my dude
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>>18149033
I know, but there's a small core group that i was expecting to take the lead should we ever hang out outside of the game store....and they did, apparently, they just didn't include me.

I don't have a big apartment, so i can't host anything really. I'm not really a leader. The other people invited i thought were essentially on the same rung as me. The other guy who (I believe) wasn't invited is kind of annoying and off putting, and while i don't think it's cool to do that to him either, I'm kind of in shock that I'm apparently on his level.

I thought about texting the guy I'm friendliest with to ask if i did something wrong, but i feel like that would at best net me a pity invite or just make me feel worse or both.
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>>18149006
There's nothing wrong with asking the dude you're friendliest with if you're being excluded from other things. However, maybe the people at the game night think that since you haven't asked them if you could tag along or something, they could think you're either not interested, or too busy. Not everyone is an asshole, some people just aren't proactive, especially to newer people.
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>>18149061
Maybe, what do i say if i get a pity invite though?
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>>18149054
Jesus Christ. Everything you just said revolves around your assumptions. You assume people will take charge. Will include you. Will do all the legwork in including you. NO. That is fucking retarded and you're a fool to have let other people dictate things. It's your job to make your relationships. That means you invite people to do things. You make the effort to learn more about each person in the group outside of your game night. It means you ask one or two or five of the people out to a movie or some other activity. YOU are in charge of your life and your destiny. Stop being a simpering faggot and step up. Control your life. NEVER rely on others to do it for you. Want something? Take it. Stop crying over stupid shit and start asking people to go do stuff with you. You'll find out really quickly if they don't like you, because every person you ask will reject your invite. At which time it's on you to find a new friend group.
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>>18149069
You're right and i have thought about it. I started going to this group after an awful breakup and 2 years of isolation as a way of getting some confidence back, and it was just starting to work but now I'm back to being a faggot.
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I was also really cool when i was younger and never really had to learn to make friends as there was always people gravitating to me, but after a terrible relationship kept me isolated for years and i isolated myself for years after the break up, i lost whatever that spark was apparently.

This blows.
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>>18149092
That's a you problem, not other peoples problem. You failed to cope with the fallout of a relationship. You shut everyone out and holed up because why? You suck at handling emotion? Get some therapy, dude. Christ. This isn't normal or acceptable behavior. People go through breakups every day. It sucks but they move on and lead normal lives. Your shit is fucked up and you could use some professional guidance for not being such an odd duck.

Even if every person in this game group were your friend today, there's a very real chance you'd fuck those relationships up, because you have admitted to some really destructive social behaviors. Fix that shit, dude, or NO ONE is going to accept you.
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>>18149006
By game do you mean a sport? Anyways dont be that guy thats their to make freinds; that looks desperate and sad. do somthing you like and meet freinds in the process. Also make it seem like your too fucking cool and have too much interesting shit in your life to even think about wanting the party. Once people recognize you have something better to do than go to a stupid party maybe people would find interest in you and follow your lead.
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Also aanother good way to make freinds is having a bag of weed amd just say to someone hey u wanna chill. Also if you have a car chill around people without one, that gives you power and people with mo cars always want to have a freind with a car. And for gods sakes, DONT ACT LIKE jim carry from the cable guy movie
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>>18149111
man that's a really good movie. I wish jim carrey from the cable guy was my friend though

nice trips of truth bro
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>>18149054
The other guy that did not get invited, theirs your oppurtunity to make a freind and bond together over dislile for those guys. DONT ASK the guy if you did somthing wrong dont dont dont dooo not do that. Once people know you require their validation your going to be a target for manipulation. You will be the guy someone calls when they need somthing, because they know you have no freinds and the only way your hanging out and socialisng tonight is if you do somthing for them, could be borrow money, giving rides, etc. Grow a pair of balls mothafucka
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If your that desperate become a juggalo and hang out with the other juggalo morons. No one wants to ve freinds with juggalos except other juggalos
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>>18149102
No, board games and magic the gathering for nerds. It's something that's always interested me but I was too above-it-all when I was in high school and my early 20s. Now that I'm older and (usually) care less what people think about me, I am indulging myself in all the stuff I wanted to do when I was younger.

I was not pushing to make friends - it's been a year, dude. I wasn't even really thinking that much about it, just getting excluded was like a punch in the gut. I don't even like parties, I just thought these people genuinely liked me and I was starting to feel funny and smart again and like 2 seconds undid something like a year of confidence building.

I texted the guy who I am closest to and asked if I did something wrong. He told me not at all and that I'm his favorite person there and wondered what he did to make me think that. I told him it was a general thing, not just him, but didn't bring up the party (I kind of assumed he knew what I was talking about). I feel a bit better, though now I think I weirded the other guy out. Whatever. God I'm a faggot these days. Maybe I will become a juggalo.
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>>18149069
Man i really hate people who force themselves unwanted into your life the way you just described like some kind of parasite. These people FORCE you to be a total dick to get rid of them and that's not cool. Nobody wants to be forced to be a dick to someone.
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>>18149150
>inviting people to do things is forcing yourself into their life

You need to leave this thread now. You have no social skills and thus zero to contribute.
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>>18149099
I know. I know. I'm specifically trying to do this without therapy because of the expense. I was with my ex for 8 years and our identities got intertwined, way more than I even realized.
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>>18149150
Man, there's nothing wrong with inviting other people to do stuff with. I should have been more proactive in befriending these guys and I just wasn't. I figured it would naturally happen over time.

But I do agree that if I forced myself into their party, it would be super lame.
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>>18149120
Too late on asking if I did anything wrong. I didn't mention the party though and just told him I just felt like something was off though. I agree that I probably shouldn't have asked and that he's probably put off by me now, but whatever. I'm sobering up a bit and feeling better.

Making friends with the other guy is probably the noble thing to do, but he has a wife and no money (I don't care about money, but he'd literally not be able to afford to go out to eat or to a movie). Also, this is dickish, but there is frankly obvious reasons he didn't get invited in that he's kind of a jerk and a douche. And yeah, it's hard to realize maybe that's how they see me too. Now I have to figure out why.
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>>18149155
You're right. I have no social skills. Maybe thats why I meet so many people like this. They are the only ones persistent enough to worm their way into my life. Disregard my post OP.
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>>18149145
>Maybe I will become a juggalo
I should not be giving advice
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>>18149145
If your religious join your local worship and make freinds their
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>>18149150
Gotta salt the snails
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>>18149158
>I was with my ex for 8 years and our identities got intertwined
What!?
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>>18149180
Maybe his wife has single freinds that can hook you up
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>>18149180
Your judging him lile they judge you
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>>18149290
I mean she became part of my identity. It was something i was aware of and want crazy about, but i always kind of figured if we broke up, I'd be the one to do it and it's be the one to move on quickly.

Then she dumped me and was living with another guy within 2 weeks and i suddenly didn't know who i was anymore. I had it coming, but it was some rough years of anger, hurt, and figuring out who i was again.
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>>18149293
Yeah, i am, and maybe it's unfair or maybe he's really just a jerk. And maybe they justifiably think I'm a jerk too.

I didn't get any info out of the guy though, so who knows.
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Make sure your breath don't smell or have body odor
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>>18149302
Ironically i think the host has body odor and admittedly i thought it was the other guy who didn't get invited had it because he tends to be sweaty, greasy and dirty.

Someone definitely has BO but i know it's not me.
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>>18149006
Why don't you try to hang out with these people outside of the game. Give an open invite like hey I'm going to grab a beer over at this bar anyone who wants to join in is welcome to come. If someone says yes, say okay, anyone else I got first round. Also, even if no one else goes, you go and get a drink.
Thread posts: 34
Thread images: 4


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