Hi
So I've been thinking a lot about cutting off a group of friends. I just don't like the vibe they give off and don't feel like I'm making friends for life. There's a lot of bitching but also being nice to each others face. I find this very weird.
I also really love spending time alone, watching videos, reading books, spending time with boyfriend.
Is the best way to cut off people this way? Or distancing slowly. Help. Thanks.
>>18146732
I myself do the slowly distancing thing, because people can't get as mad.
Unless you feel the relationship you have with them is really shitty or toxic, there's no point to rush it, is there?
I have a tendency to cut off friends when I feel they've either been toxic or lying. I pretty much break up with them, with a confrontational conversation where I end with wishing them the best, but that we aren't friends anymore because of said reasons. I always thought I was honest and genuine this way, but people don't appreciate this shit. And I got to tell you, in the two cases it happened, I was completely right (one was pulling me in her shit with her constant lies getting me in trouble, and the other was making dead threats to another person in our group). In the end I was the one who wasn't invited to parties, because others didn't want to risk these so called victims being hurt by my presence.
What did I learn? Let it bleed out. Just meet them less, and get out of their drama. Tell them you're busy. Judging by what I hear from you, they might even gossip at some point and cut you off maliciously simply because of this already. But this way you don't close any doors for yourself.
>>18146752
I think I'll take the slow approach as well. I'm not great wth confrontations, I feel people have strong defenses for things they've done.
I'm glad I have realised it is toxic for me though, usually I'd keep hoping and believing in the best of everyone. This is somewhat weakness as people can take advantage.
Thanks for you tip!
>>18146812
No and good luck!
>>18146732
i find the easiest way to do it is to just stop going to any hangouts claiming being busy. most will assume its because you got too close with your boyfriend.
which is also something i recommend being careful of cuz once the boyfriend breaks up with you you'll be a mess on your own.
>>18147248
I've known my boyfriend before I knew them, so he's been in the picture for a long time.
I've tried the busy angle but it sometimes doesn't work, e.g. Outings set in advance. These are the most trickiest.