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jealous of my gf

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I'm jealous of my girlfriend, no not because she has guys taking to her. but it's because she's literally above me as a responsible person:
>she fully decided to go to prom earlier. For more complex reasons, I didnt and count go.
>she registered to vote on time
>she may have missed the first College application time, but she somehow learned from her mistake and is in college now
what makes it even more biting is that she's taking psychology on her first semester, which means SHE of all people will understand people better now.
I'm not used to her being better than me. she presents herself as unassumming abd nothing special, yet she's more capable in things than I thought. for the longest in high school I saw myself above her, not even wanting to officially date her to save my reputation. but now this is happening.
am I immature? and if so, what's my solution? if changing makes me feel less petty I'd do it
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Yes you are immature
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>>18110156
Become more responsible and learn from your mistakes, it's that simple brah. You know that's good behaviour so you're jealous of gf for exhibiting it while you don't.
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You sound like every douchebag boyfriend in existence. If you actually loved this person you'd want them to succeed, I guess you are scared she will realize she is better than you and leave you? I guess just hope she is not as much of an asshole as you are
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>>18110156
She sounds like a responsible and matured enough girl. And yes you are immature but change this attitude of yours and be responsible as >>18110168 told. You can do it bro.
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>>18110156
I mean, she isn't finding a cure for cancer or solving the Syrian crisis.
She's being a normal adult. She's average as fuck.

You're just noticeably worse than average. So grow the fuck up and stop being a child.
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>>18110168
>>18110166
>>18110185
>>18110193
op here. you guys are right, but the thing Is personal improvements don't happen overnight. how do I atop running away from problems I'm scared of? (i.e. college applications, or other application processes. I hate applications due to my previous bad luck with them. )
>>18110193
>>18110178
......and why did I piss you two off?
although to be honest my dream was to be seen as a normal and average person in general. that's why I was with her in the first place in early high school, I wanted to be like everyone else and have someone that I can claim and also have sexual activity with (not for fun, but for glory). eventually I grew more feelings for her.
>>18110178
I'm not afraid she'll leave me. and also, I thought douvhebag boyfriends cheat and don't give their significant other any attention. I REMIND her that she's better than me. she gets annoyed a bit and thinks I'm being irrational, that it's not something I should worry about.

so anons, how exactly do I become a better person. how do I stop being jealous. how do I become more confident I guess? how do I become more responsible?
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>>18110156
bump
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>>18110214
Stop looking at what everyone else has and concentrate on yourself. Find peace in yourself, forgive yourself and move on.
Stop blaming everything and everyone, even if at fault forgive what the past was and turn the page. Bitterness will only draw you back.

I had the same problem, never said it out loud because it sounds god damn ridiculous and it is, I just couldn't forgive myself for not being the person I wished to be. Try little by little every day to remind yourself to let go of whatever it is that holds you back.

Start with clear conciense, with acknowlegement of your mistakes and acceptence. Then build anew. It's a long process but every time you're reminded that your girlfriend or whoever is "better than you" accept it as a fact not a shitty competition.

This is literally the first step. Whatever you chose to do with your life is the next.
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>>18110156
Sorry, but you're kind of crazy.
I dated a guy like you, he started treating me like shit when he got to know me better because he felt intimidated that I was smarter than him in some areas.
Healthy relationships and minds aren't threatened by other people's competence/ability, it's embraced and celebrated.
Have you looked into the fact that you're possibly a sociopath?
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>>18110234
how do I be confident in the fact that everyone is better than me? I realized something in myself, I only think in what's ahead of me. if someone appears better than me, then they're better than me. I don't trust what I don't see. since I only see bad in my life desire people telling me I have it good, should I believe them?
how do I gain confidence in being an 18 year old failure?
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>>18110290
Do you expect to be fucking Einstein m8?

Accept that you ARE a 18 year old failure. Not just bitterly throw it around in hopes something can prove you wrong. Stop putting your self-worth in the feet of failures of others so you can feel better or at the feet of success of others so you can have an excuse about yourself.

Stop that. If you see only bad, change it. Rome is not built over a day.

You are acting incredibly disrespectfull both thowards others and yourself, lowering yourself to a goddamn slug. Because all those anons in the thread are not shitting on you for no reason, it's because you already shat on yourself by merely the way you disrespected the person who seems to be the closest to you.

Let go of your enormous bruised ego and start appreciating the small things you have. The things that are big and shitty will go away if you fix them - that's it. Accept your situation. If you come true to yourself and to others at least you will have confidence in your honesty.
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>>18110316
you do have a point. but I think this started In high school when my acquaintances told me not to date her since she was "ugly". i just liked makin gout with her then. I tried to keep us hanging out a secret and she never seemed outwardly confident in herself when she wasn't with her small circle of friends. I used the somewhat true excuse of my parents not wanting me to date her as to why I can't be with her. she felt hurt so for a time she dated another guy until he cheated on her. then she asked me if we can hang again on Facebook and I said yes. we didn't officially go out until around prom. over time I developed true feelings for her and regretted using her as a tool. due to these things, It caught me off guard when I saw that she became more responsible. I just realized, that deep down I (wrongfully) felt it was me god given right to be above her. I've seen plenty of women better than me in things, but I didn't like her being better. that's also why I found it strange when she said that I don't have it that bad. that apparently there are good things about me. for my mind it's much easier and satisfying to autistically react extremely when things aren't going my way and say nothing is god for me, then enduring the hard work to improve.
you're very right anon, and I appreciate you guys for analyzing my situation and identity and seeing how to fix it.

I also need to work on not finding easy solutions or escape routed put my problems. a few times I wanted to kill myself or run away because things weren't happening like I wanted it to. worst of all I've been looking on /x/ to see if aliens or other supernatural brings can make me time travel and so I can rectify my mistakes

also, how do I stop seeing everyone ekse as gods? when I was in school I thought the really smart people simply grasped everything with ease. My problem was that I wasn't studying right.
should I join the army to feel useful?
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>>18110285
well I may have a mental problem but I doubt I'm a sociopath. I feel guilt. sociopaths dont feel remorse
I mean part of me is glad that she's moving forward with her life. but admittedly, my selfish envy slightly outweighed those feelings.
but tell me, what did your boyfriend do to you? all I did was admit to her I'm kinda jealous. she understood my situation with me and my mother never really cooperating.
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>she's taking psychology on her first semester, which means SHE of all people will understand people better
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>>18110394
what's so funny
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>>18110369
Good. You came to a realisation. You should be proud of that. Many people ignore it.

As I stated in >>18110234 - find acceptance of yourself and your limitations.
You realise you're only 18, there's a long road ahead of you, if you choose to not be a dickhead you won't be.

First and foremost you need to sit down or take a walk around in solitude. You need to think deeply about what your actual talents and skills are and what your actual limitations are. What you wish to improve in yourself as a person. Then you need to come to a /decision/. Most of the world are not born with a purpose nor have an incredible passion that they magically discover from the age of 3. They made a decision based on their own desires. If you let other people no matter who they are influence your decision to a point you choose something beause of a social value, empty pride or some sort of prestige, most likely you'll regret it. Find something that will be a good goal, that makes you comfortable and happy. You can always change your paths down the road or set a small goal to do in a time that will serve you as a way of figuring yourself, yet developing any skills of your choise.

Now I'll lend you my formula for further inner insight. Might not work for everyone but worth a try.

1. Realization
2. Acceptance
3. Action attempts
4. Failure
5. True action

They follow in that order. But think of it as a spiral not a ladder. First you have to realize what made you the way you are piece by piece at a time. This comes trough a lot of anger, disheartment, maybe even regret. And this will be present in every cycle. Then you procceed onward to step 2 - acceptance. Even if that happend, there's nothing to be done. You must let go of the realization you've come past that. But as I said it's a spiral, so it goes realization again, acceptance again THEN time for point 3 attempt at action. I say attempt because well that's what it will be - at attempt. And you will fail. Rinse and repeat
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>>18110404
You're still so young. And so is she. And one psychology course isn't going to make her an expert. But instead of focusing on other people, try bettering yourself. Find a passion and put the hours in. That's the only way to dig yourself out of this weird hole of jealousy and trying to go back in time...?
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>>18110418
After the attempt at bettering yourself, you will fall to point 1, then 2, then another action attempt which will include of course 4 - failure. Think about it everytime you step on the spiral you get a point. By the time you hit failure again you'd have 3 points in realisation aka you'd be better at it. The more you go trough the spiral the better you are at the things and more you learn from yourself, what happened to you, your failures and building confidence in your attempts for change. When you rank up enough points- you arrive at stage 5 - true action. The one that will actually start to change yourself little by little.

That's about it. All rinse and repeat untill you find harmony within yourself and can move on to do better.

You will understand that 99.995% of the people you know are not geniuses - they've just worked for what they've had. The plus of any tallents they might have only makes it a bit easier for them to grasp new concepts but still built what they have by work alone.

And that is something you are fully capable of doing yourself.
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I think it's wrong to look at this purely out of your perspective. You should be happy that you can be together with such a responsible person, and really you should start trying to figure out how to become a better person in order to match her.

That is if you really want to stay with her.
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>>18110426
yeah I was desperate to time travel to at least a month ago. I at first didn't want to attend her school because here in NY it's looked at as the lowest school, partially since it's super easy to get into. I at first didn't want to go to that college bug when the one I was trying to go to closed it's enrollment time, I tried to go to her school. but me and my mother couldn't cooed are on a good time. she'd be tired from being busy at work and supposedly helping my other siblings with their school things. At the same time too she claims that when we she was ready, I was busy hanging out with my girlfriend, ironically. (when my girlfriend found this out she felt guilty). She also didn't really do my spring college application process for a few reasons: she didn't think the Financial Aid would come in time for the payment of the semester, sge coukdbt find her tax forms, and because she saw that I wasn't motivated in high school or my precious 2 jobs and she was unnecessarily salty about it. when I come late to things that means I really don't want to be there, and that I'm afraid of the problem. I near lean away from home into the woods two weeks ago because I was so upset at my mother. She blames me for my problem. Is she right? she could be right
>>18110430
>>18110418
very interesting, I might try it. how did it help your life? when did you realize how to use this method?
>>18110552
it's weird I actually asked her how is she responsible and what makes her this way? when she said she wouldn't really consider herself responsible I felt annoyef on the inside, because her belittling her work on a weird roundabout way felt belittling to me.

how do I stop assuming everyone is out to get me? this is what kept me from applying to college properly, I thought they'd laugh at My application. my Latin teacher and mom made them sound like that.
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another question, for the anons in this tread, what led to you guys becoming mature? what brings you your personal confidence? what is good in your relationships?
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>>18111167
Probably what made me mature is just that I've dealt with a lot of shitty personal/family problems pretty consistently through my life. I mean, it's not really how you would want to mature, through suffering, but naturally it is a byproduct if you can make it through.

I'm mostly still working on my personal confidence since I'm such an introvert and also /anxiety/, but just try to think about yourself as a work in progress instead of a 'failure'. Just because you might not be at the same stage as others, doesn't mean they're better at life than you. Everyone grows at their own rates.

The good thing about my relationships is that the people close to me are positive and help me when I need it, and vice versa.
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>>18110156
You are not only immature, but arrogant.

You've convinced yourself that you're special and perhaps better than others, when in reality, it seems that you can barely function at all.

Not registering to go to prom on time? Not regeristing to vote on time? Not applying to college on time? What are you, a total idiot? Those are some of the most basic things in the whole world. How could you even be jealous of your GF for living at a below average level? Like she missed the college application date the first time? Wtf? And psychology is some of the easiest bullshit ever.

If you're going to be arrogant, you have to AT LEAST try to better yourself. You're one of those AWFUL people who has deluded themselves in to thinking they have even a shred of worth despite not being able to function at even a basic level.

Perhaps at a time, you were good at reading people or understanding social patterns in middle school or something. But you were so full of yourself that you stopped improving and growing, and now you're stuck at that middle school level even though EVERYONE AROUND YOU has grown. By comparison, you are BEHIND now.

Break up with your GF. She'all break up with you once she realizes that she's dating someone who won't grow
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>>18111428
Jesus Christ anon, why are you so mad? what did I go to ruin your day? so how exactly do I get out if this middle school state of mind, (if I Really do have one). it's ironic since she actually is diagnosed with mild autism.
also It's the opposite, I think most people are better than me. although I admit it's wrong that I saw myself above my girlfriend. I missed prom because I wasn't sure if I wanted to go with her. because (in January 2016) I wanted a trophy girl to go with and because I thought her clingy ex was going to start a hissy fit. however I waited too long, then said ex was platonically going with her. but then be tried to take another girl, left her and got rejected by the other one. a this point I decided to take her. I was still a little unsure because I didn't think my circle of then friends will claim me in their group. By the time I decided to go, my mom claimed she didn't have $180 to go, nor did she want me to wear my old suit to prom, she wanted to get a new one but it was too late. I was pissed. come to think of it, my mom and stepdad might like you.
>>18111404
thanks anon, you seem to really have a grip on reality. I appreciate what you told me. you have any words for dating?
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>>18110156
>my GF does normal things a normal person does
>WTF? SHE'S LITERALLY ABOVE ME
what is this post even?
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>>18111515
I'm just being autistic Over the fact that things haven't gone my way and that people can move forward. this thread made me realize that I essentially put my own rules on the world and people to suit my own ego and make myself feel like a flawless person (even though honestly deep down I knew I had problems) and got upset when they didn't follow them, which was wrong. I should be glad that I was able to get two jobs during the time I wasn't on school a few months ago.
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>>18110156
>going to college
>studying psychology
Don't worry, she's not actually smart.
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>>18111583
I was being an asshole.shes smart.
although I'm also not happy one amon called her below average
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>>18110156
ur gf sounds incredibly dumb if she thought her vote counted. i guess part of being arabic is staying redpilled and woke.
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>>18112074
>he thinks women are beneath men
I may be kind of an ass, but I'm not this delusional where I think men are always superior to women. also don't call her stupid. call me stupid, I really am. but leave her alone.
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good news is anons, I took your advice and took matters in my own hands, resubmitted my fall application, took advice from my girlfriend and I'm going to mail out the payment form like I'm supposed to. I just gotta write the check.
I also have a group interview for a job today
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>>18110214
You do the applications and power through. Of course you don't feel good doing these things because of past experience, but the only way to combat that is to do these things, and succeed, that will make them less scary and give you more motivation to keep going. Remember, things are extremely rarely perfect on the first try.
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>>18112560
Way to not be a human piece of shit. Maybe you'll stop resenting your girlfriend now.
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