Why can't I think positive?

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I'm a 19 year old person, currently going to a university.

My father is a mind-willpower enthusiast. He's 55, and sometimes talk to me about things like thinking positive and "the universe will grant you your wishes". Seicho-no-ie and this kind of things, as he took a course with an Indian many years ago, and was always into this kind of spiritual things.

However every time he talks to me about these things, it gets pretty boring. I don't know if i'm nihilist. I don't know much about these things to be honest. but what i think is:

There's no meaning to life at all. We create things because we want them to last after our innevitable death. We follow spiritual religions and things because we fear death and want something to make us comfortable. So my problem is, for example: Every time they say "write your objectives in a paper. Read them loud every day" I simply think "Why? There's no possiblity the "universe will lend it to me", and i'm not up for wasting all my life in a journey trying to embrace a hope i know it's a lie"

I feel comfortable thinking about that, but when people talk to me about this, shit happens. DESU, i'm studying to survive. to earn money,play songs i like, maybe have some sex and then die in the end. I don't kill myself because there's no painless way to go and i'm such a pussy. I don't believe in nothing else. This is starting to hurt. To see people chasing this kind of things. They'll find nothing in the end, in MY opnion. Why do i think like that?

But i like to take nice photos (pic related). It's a cool hobby, even if i'm not good at it.