Please help anons, I'm a man and I like showing off my

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Please help anons,

I'm a man and I like showing off my body and ass online. Specifically, on Chaturbate for tips. I'm not gay (I get turned on by curvy women and big knockers) but I also get turned by the fact that men are jacking off to my ass. I love all the dirty things they want to do to me. I extremely enjoy the validation they give me when they tip me ACTUAL $$$ just for me to spread my hole or something like that. I don't get this same horny feeling when women compliment me, in fact I hate appreciation from women.. it just feels hollow and condescending despite the fact that I find women physically attractive and would get completely soft from hairy, broad shouldered men.

I don't even keep or need the money, all the tips I make, I forward to other cam girls and guys who look like they truly need it.

I know this probably stems from loneliness as a child and constant rejection from the opposite sex in real life.

I need to stop though because A. Future employers would most likely respond negatively to this. (My current boss is socially liberal and supports sex workers.)
B. While doing this, I could never hold a regular relationship with a woman. Not only would I feel guilty but I can't see a normal girl respecting me in a relationship for doing this kind of stuff.