So I've been going out with this girl for almost three months now, and I was struggling with whether or not I should ask her about us being serious partners - you know, defining the relationship. I decided to postpone that, and, last friday, she asked me some questions to seemingly scan my opinion on open relationships.
"I watched this video on youtube about a couple that has an open relationship, it's pretty interesting". She asked what I thought about it, and I told her my first reaction to it is negative; I've not been in a serious relationship before and the longest one I had before her was about a month long.
"Well, I think I couldn't do that, being held up to just one person." I didn't answer after that, I kept quiet because I was burning up inside. It wasn't really rage, just shock at what I heard and a sense of impending doom.
Continued (1/2)
>>18092995 (2/2)
Anyways, a week before that, I was introduced to this girl by a friend. One of them told me she was definitely into me, laughing at every joke, etc. I hadn't noticed because I was still in the middle of deciding to postpone my question about defining the relationship.
So, after that, she asked me to her birthday party, with just a couple of people that were my friends. I went there this monday, after my date had told me about the open relationship thing. We drank quite a bit - about three pints of beer - and ended up making out a bit twice, we didn't have much alone time with our friends there.
She mentioned something about us going out to drink some other day, which I don't really know if 'us' meant me and her or our friends as well.
The weird part is I thought doing this would make me feel like absolute garbage, like scum. I believe the fact that my date kind of dismissed the importance of our relationship has to do with that. This made me think of maybe going with the open realtionship stuff.
I don't really have a specific question for you guys (and gals) or anything, I just need some experience talk and some general advice on stuff like this. Thanks in advance.
>Well, I think I couldn't do that, being held up to just one person."
Just drop your emotional attatchments to her. She's not good for a relationship, but she is good for a Pussy fuck.
In the future she might change her mind but right now she's just trying to "have fun"
Bro dont do it. Road to ruin. You might as well just stay friends.
>>18092995
>"Well, I think I couldn't do that, being held up to just one person"
You're lucky because she's telling you a whore right off the bat. You don't have to find out years from now once you're already invested. Dump her. And why the fuck were you in a relationship for 3 months without "getting serious"? You realize that she's been fucking other guys the whole time, right?
>>18093033
This. Either keep it casual or cut her from the team.
This girl made it pretty clear that she's not really interested in having a monogamous relationship. It seems hypocritical that you're upset by this, given that clearly you're not really ready for that either.
If a committed relationship is what you want, you could see what this girl's values are and if they're different from this girl, but even if this girl wanted that, I don't know how seriously you can take someone who gets drunk and makes out with a stranger.
If you want to know what this girl or this girl (or really any this girl) means about something, ask HER.
>>18093068
Of course I'm gonna ask her, but it would help if I had some knowledge about it from people who have been in similar relationships. I've been also reading about it and how there's rules you make, so that might be good?
And, yes, I see how hypocritical I am, thanks. My main mode of conduct is self-loathing.
>>18093033
I've had friends tell me this. I guess I don't know her well enough to know if she'd do that or not, but I don't think so. Although she has gone drinking and partying without me, so I'm not saying I'm confident, especially with the talk we had about open relationships.
Open-relationships are awful. Either keep her as a not-attached FWB thing or just drop her.