I've kind of had the shit kicked out of me over the last two years. Lost both my parents, both two very different experiences with death. My mum was ill with MS for most of my life and i watched it slowly eat her away to nothing. My dad died a rather brutal and unexpected death shortly after. Two weeks after that, the girl who had seen me through all of this, the girl who had held me in her arms in the hospital room as my dad died decided to leave me. I tired to kill myself, but i guess my heart wasn't really in it. Very shortly after this I met another girl who I very quickly formed a very strong attachment to. She knew all about the state I was in and said she wanted to heal me, making all kinds of promises. She said she wanted to be with me forever, for some reason. Being the emotionally crippled young man I was, I saw her as a goddess. You know what it's like when you create a fictionalized version of somebody in your head? It's very easy to do. She ended up breaking it off with me for very vague reasons, and for some reason that triggered a kind of pain that i hadn't felt before. As if every single one of my demons was haunting me at once. It's been months now. Not sure what to do.
Therapy and drugs bby.
Sad story man, sorry to had to live through that nightmare. Don't you have any male friends you could go to, if not >>18092318 would be my go to.
Honestly though, buy some video games and escape for a bit, one issue at a time
>>18092324
I'm living with my best friend now which is great. I was left with enough money to do literally anything I want for the rest of my life, which I am very grateful for. I know that if I was talking to myself from an outside perspective I would be like "Just go live on a fucking beach and smoke weed for the rest of your life you stupid cunt" but i feel like i need to learn how to accept my burdens before I carry on.
By drugs, do you mean medication given to me by a doctor? that's something i've been considering. I've been avoiding professional help for some reason.
>>18092343
If you feel like things are getting to be too much to handle on your own, seeking professional help is a good idea. Might not do wonders for everyone, and you could wind up with a therapist who's not quite the right "fit" for you, but I think it's generally helpful. Prescription drugs can be great to get you over the hump and on your way, but I'd personally not recommend long-term medication. I've tried it and in hindsight I think it was largely negative because side-effects + I got kinda hooked and had trouble stopping. Again, mileage may vary.
>>18092315
one thing at a time, anon. pick one, handle it, then move on to the next. repeat until all issues are resolved.
sorry for your loss.
>>18092315
The longer you decide to live on, the more of a god you seem to me.
You've got the most precious thing in the whole world, and that's your story.
Fucking hell, man.
In my eyes:
If you'd kill yourself, you'd the kind of person people tell scary stories about to their kids.
If you don't, you'll be a goddamn legend that's a direct "man up" to anyone who considers suicide for less shit than you've been through.
Godspeed.
>>18092315
This>>18092618
I got a bit suicidal when I was younger over a girl leaving, this makes my problem look like a highlight.
But remember this true strength is not how much you can lift, but how much you can take and keep on going. You'd be an inspiration to a lot of people.
Here's a suggestion that might be worth it, buy a block of land or find a national park/somewhere secluded you can get away from everything for a while, take as little as you can, teach yourself she survival skills, it really changes your perspective on life
>>18092672
this and write a folk album