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I'm at a weird stage in my life and I'll take any clues.

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I'm at a weird stage in my life and I'll take any clues.

23, I'm not depressed currently at least I don't feel any sadness per se. I struggle to feel much these days, I feel s detached from myself I wonder why im not happy yet not exactly sad. I don't understand why I wake up in the morning and go about my day despite feeling so purposeless. Nothing bring me joy anymore and I'm just quiet bored, I feel like there is a lot of pressure I put on myself but I don't know anyother way and I would be depressed without these presssures.

I have prayed in the past that I go to sleep and never wake up, part of me wouldn't mind that but im mot sad. I can't describe how I feel, its just blank. If I could sum it up and with a few words I'd call it the stage of not knowing.

I feel like I truly have no clue and no nothing anymore, im completely lost yet there is nothing I want from life, everything seems like it comes at a cost and I don't want to deal with it.

I just don't know anymore.

What is this?
>>
>>18091699
Heres some background on me as well.

>very fit, gym 6 days a week.
>get attention easily from girls
>keep to myself
>have a job that im lost in but is very stable
>never travelled
>have been in a dark place and depressed in the past so I do know what it feels like
>have a decent family
>one girl im very close with
>know a lot of people but have close friends at all

Literally nothing going wrong.
>>
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>>18091699
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3_M-ychkTA&t=48s

Here
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>>18091706
See you in 40, I'll let you know Im not entirely religious and I dabbled a lot in philosophy. My problem is I just dont want anything or care for anything to a degree, I've accepted that human nature is selfish as we d things for ones self no matter what even if you truly break it down, doing it for God is still doing it for yourself as it gives you something... my issue also is that I have become extremely nihilistic and that the only thing I want is freedom from a waged based society as I get nothing from it. Then again I end up second guessing myself and then fall into that void of not knowing anything.

I will watch this though.
>>
That sounds like a major depressive disorder her. You're not sad, you just feel like nothing is worth the effort. I understand that, I thought that for a while. I think the best thing to do is to talk to a counselor or a doctor and see about either getting some meds or just having someone to talk to.
>>
>>18091721
I still do things like they're my escapes. Some days are worse then others though. I really worried about meds with libido and whether they will make me a better person or somone who I'm not? Therapy im also doubting, what can they say that I haven't tried or thought about myself and I have nothing that needs to be said, what would they do differently that I can't?
>>
In my experience, pills actually increased my computer, but I understand it's different for everyone. Therapy is good, not because it gives you things to do, but because it gives you someone to talk to her that won't judge you and want the rate you for doing what you did. It really helped me get out of my nihilistic stage when there is someone who is, at least presenting as, and mostly positive, excepting, and friendly. It doesn't make you do anything but talk and think.
>>
>>18091699
you're going to feel like this until the day you die

in the meantime your hair will fall out, your gut will get larger and the cute cashier wont smile at you in 20 years

this is life
>>
>>18091740
Thanks man really considering it down track now.

>>18091746
Ha Baldness doesn't run in the family but I can't wait for 20 years from now when its past the stage of trying hard while being young and being beyond whats socially acceptable and let myself go. Unfortunately in the present im in a middle ground where Im fit and do alright for myself and to lose that would mean to have truly given up but I can't because Im close to that betterment. Just wish I could say the same about my mind frame, that I don't go to bed and wake up in confusion of why Im waking up and for what purpose as there entirely is nothing or nothing I get from life. Weird thing is that im not sad or hurting just lost and don't know what to do or where to go from here.
>>
You're depressed.

Depression isn't sadness, it's major indifference to life and an inability to receive pleasure.

Go get some meds.
>>
>>18091785
Fuck, I know its selfish but I want to deny it. I really struggle with the idea of being so mentally week I need to meds to function, I don't think I can keep the facade of that life is good knowing my issues are somewhat permanent/unchanging, requiring medications and out of my hands. For fucks sakes, why? I know I'll just go about until some external factor effects me. See where I go from there. Accepting this I think hurts a lot more then hoping kt was a phase or some ego-life thing...
>>
First of all we barely know anything about your background... did you have a pretty fucked childhood or something? Can't help someone if they're not willing to say something about themselves when you just know " I feel like shit "
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>>18091830
Not really know, nothing I'd consider bareable, I don't see anything over traumatic but I also don't know what can effect a kids mind I don't feel like anything has. I mean I was always a pretty pessemistic kid or so i was often reminded and often painted as somr kind of antihero in a sense. Never been bullied and always done well for myself, talented can draw, learnt a couple of musical instrument despite never being able to be creative only replicate shit. Did well in school despite choosing to not apply myself, I think during my later adolscent years at about 17 I started to really question life and went down a pretty dark spiral of isolating myself and having general angst. Got even worse after I left school, put on weight and spent up until I was 20 - 21 isolated with no real friends, stil went out with family and stuff. I'd often not want to wake up and thought about suicide, sort of stemed from questioning every aspect of life and coming to so many conclusions, I could stop trying tl rationalize life and every detail of it and the human mind and subconscious. Broke out of ot after I met a girl who broke my heart I was about 20yso, I hit rock bottom but started to build a later, became pyhsically fit and started socialising. Made serious gains on my sexual health as a big fuck you to having my heart torn from me but I ain't still never been the same, still often think about life however now I just feel lile I don't know anything anymore. Even questioning if what Im feeling is actually enough and im unsure about it despite being in a happy situation?
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>>18091830
I learnt from a very quick and maybe wanted to grow up very quickly, and was raised in a rough area (wasnt that rough just had a reputation for it) had a thrill for being feared when I was young but grew out of it. Probably between 14 - 16 hally years of my life I enjoyed everything and was never serious about things. I've seen a lot of things but I've never felt that it was that bad in any sense, and I don't ever see anything as traumatic however I'm sure some panzies would but really nothing that bad or that would ever cross my mind other more then just as a story.
>>
>>18091841

It feels like your lacking in a life goal, have you tried to see if anything of interest got a hold on you? Or it might be you're lacking in life experiences too, I had a pretty rough life and seen a lot of death overall. I used to have dark thoughts too but never crossed my mind about suicide. It was some sort of permanent miasma.

You know, life likes to throw shit at you, sit on her nice chair and looks at how you'll be reacting. I've been traveling around, seen a lot of stuffs from all perspectives possible. I had a nice trip but i didn't deny the bad sides as I talked to the poor, sat with them at their tables and ate their food. I've seen people getting mugged and shot at for mere possessions. After I came back, it pretty much made me grown as a man but life ain't a bitch when you think about it. It's just life and you need to tackles back at it. Life is too short to be overthinking, just travel and do things... your life is a lot more privilege compared to the ones that doesn't have our luck. Ours is luxury.
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>>18091699
Get treatment for your depression. Life is not supposed to be like this.
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>>18091720
Nihilism is bad.
You need some healthy delusions.
>>
>>18091699
>>18091827
What's kept me going is that the purpose of Life is happiness, its a very simple yet very difficult to contest motivation to get up in the morning. If you don't want to rely on pills, aside from googling how to deal with depression and doing all the bullshit that wiki how suggests. I would say that you should explore your sense of humor, most of the time I am genuinely happy (not too often) is when I am laughing. Also you should really make close friends. True friendship is a bedrock in life, and will give you a goal in life of making your friends happy.
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