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>start talking with a girl >i'm romantically interested

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>start talking with a girl
>i'm romantically interested
>ask her out, tell her I'm interested
>doesn't want a relationship right now, bad breakup
>things lead to us hanging out occasionally
>amazing compatibility, calls me her best friend, talk for hours and hang out
>"I don't want to be friends right now"
>go with the flow, start developing feelings
>starts avoiding me all of a sudden
>ask her what's up, nothing
>learn she's back with her ex
>tell her she could've just told me the truth
>still bothered
>in events together in uni
>have to talk, she starts calling me almost everyday
>keeps on talking, "you are my best friend", acts all lovey
>feelings come back
>tell her, "i can't be friends. we don't have to be in a relationship right now. if what happened is going to repeat, we don't have to talk"
>"i'm never getting back with him. i'm done. we will be there for each other. you are the only person i trust"
>starts avoiding again, all of a sudden
>she's back with her ex

The thing is I don't think about her much now but when I see her, it's bad. I have developed some kind of weird trust issues because I trusted her so much. I can't get over what she did, I can't trust anyone's words. I'm at a position in life when my friends are distant and I'm doing bad socially and career wise (which are kind of correlated).

Advice?
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Just avoid her, she wants you as an emotional sponge anon. When she has her ex to fall back an you mean nothing to her and I think you already know that man I am sorry bro you will find someone better.
>>
Read The Sun Also Rises by Hemingway. I think you'll find out very relatable.
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>>18079579
this x1000 anon. Sorry man but you need to keep a distance or call her out on it.
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>>18079579
yeah, I understand that.
But what fucked me up is the fucking kisses on the phone, talking dirty on the phone and masturbating and the little things she did. She even said she wouldn't mind marrying me, but we have to see how we progress after years. Even I'm like relationship or fuck off in a subtle tone, she is like, "we will be there for each other. you take care of me, i take care of you". she even started crying because I didn't pick up her calls.
>>
and when her ex falls through I am sure she'll be back again man.
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>>18079601
well, this time, I wouldn't mind insulting her and calling her a fucking bitch. I'm done.
>>
>>18079607
Putting your foot down and telling her how it is has like 90% for her to get turned on and switching things around for you. Especially if things are going bad with her ex ;)
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>>18079607
You're being used as a reliable source of attention without any of the commitments of a relationship. As long as you keep picking up the phone she'll keep calling. Don't let her try to talk to you about it, you're going to fall for it again. You don't owe her an explanation or closure. If she can't see why the situation is shitty it's not up to you to teach her. Let her live her life, don't wish for revenge or hope she ends up miserable without you, because that shows you still care about her and what she thinks.

Honestly, don't even bother talking to her anymore. Don't reply, don't teach her a lesson, don't write paragraphs explaining what you're doing.
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>>18079561
Ah you're probably just feeling bad because of the "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me."

Don't take it so hard. You took a chance and trusted that maybe the first time I was a mistake, but it didn't work out. That's ok, you got confirmation that she's not really worth anything. Beats wondering if maybe you should have given her another chance.

One thing I think you should learn from this: someone who tries to get or keep your attention by acting in an overly sexual or seductive manner is likely to be insincere and manipulative. It seems a little weird that instead of saying "hmm, this behavior is bullshit", you're thinking "but she seemed so into me, what happened?"
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>>18079631
fuck off.
seriously, people have things to do in life than to just be there for switchers when they feel like.
>>18079632
i'm indifferent. now this has turned from what it's about her to what it's about me.
feels like I just got used up by someone and that's entirely my fault. But as >>18079634 said, I can't get over I made a mistake.
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>>18079639
>I can't get over I made a mistake
That's ok though. Better you learn it and hurt now than get a couple more years down the road stuck in the same situation and only learning then.
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>>18079643
yep. thanks.
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Sounds like you were a low grade faggot.

A dude who hands out attention and care for free is like a woman who hands out sex for free. Both are obviously of little value even if nobody says so.

Stop talking to her. Maybe she'll make an effort to get in touch with you, maybe not. Either way, you'll be better off.
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>>18079652
read the thread.
so sex is currency? only thing I didn't actually get from this.
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>>18079593
>But what fucked me up is the fucking kisses on the phone, talking dirty on the phone and masturbating

>on the phone

I just...

That's downright sad dude. You should have more ambition than to let that mean anything to you. Hell you shouldn't even let that be happening. It's literally just a game of pretend.

Forget this girl and just go get some friends or reach out to communities who will do the sexting and/or roleplay shit. You'll get over her so fast.
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>>18079707
nah man, I'm over that. I didn't really enjoy that.
I just took that as something she does to show she really likes me but doesn't want a relationship NOW.
thanks tho.
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>>18079712
Well okay then.
Though for your future reference, when a girl is into you she will PHYSICALLY be around you. She's not gonna try and conquer your man demons over the phones unless she thinks very very little of you.
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>>18079800
We did fool out physically but no kissing/sex
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>>18079800
not op but makes me really curious, how do people enter online relationships?
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>>18079561
>>18079593
i have a girl who pulls this exact same shit with me
she sends me nudes, talks about how cute she thinks i am, even offers to fuck me when she isn't getting any action and as soon as she has a sure thing going she flat out stops talking to me
i really really need to cut her off emotionally but i'm so fucking lonely that i'm always going to talk to her and i think she knows that
it's been like this for 2 fucking years and i really just wanna fuck her and get it over with but we live hours apart and she's dating at the moment

i think, as others have said, you really just need to find another girl who isn't just going to waste your time. i understand how hard that might be because it's something im struggling with right now
Thread posts: 21
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