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Incoming rant in 3...2...

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I'm sick and tired of my low self-esteem.

Basically, I hate how I look / carry myself. My posture is basically fucked because I am on my laptop all day. My mom was an extremely conservative Christian and I never went through the girly phase. I never learned how to wear makeup and I grew up stubbornly refusing to put sunscreen etc because I hated the sticky feeling and now I have these fucking ugly freckles on my pig face. I can't even look people in the eyes because I know making eye contacts would mean that people would look at my face even more and notice my crooked nose / milia / pimples. I'd avoid going out when it's sunny because my blemishes would be more noticeable.

I tried learning the basic skincare stuff but reading all those beauty blogs / vlogs just put me off. I'd just get distracted thinking "this is bs she's getting paid to say that" "that's never gonna work for me I have oily skin" "yeah right that'd look good on her but not on me" "that's surely not scientific" Like why would I even spend a fortune on these overpriced products?

But on some days I'd just be like fuck this I want to get rid of my virginity and fuck like Marla Singer because I'm so sick of this self-esteem bullcrap.

I watch a lot of youtubers and it kills me that none of them appears to be self-conscious about their triple chin, or their beer bellies at the age of 26. And they're fucking hilarious. Friends would tell me that I seem to have two different personas; I"m more of a suave / chill gal online (after years of practice + messing up on forums) but irl I'm still just like a fucking awkward teenager who is somehow still stuck on her self-esteem issues.

How do I grow the fuck up?
>>
realize that people don't focus on your physical traits as much as you do.
>>
>>18061378
how old are you again?
>>
>>18061424
no they kinda do and it matters a lot especially for women
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>>18061424
yeah but have you ever met someone with such gross facial features that you can't help but get distracted mid-conversation? I think i'm one of them

My family recently dragged me into one of those posh people photoshoot thing, and the photographer doing the editing was literally showing us how to do fucking paintbrushing. On me. On my pimples / freckles etc. The fucking shame.

>>18061429
...21
sorry, is my immaturity leaking that badly?
>>
if you just want to clean up your face or whatever there's some straightforward beauty tips to help with that. mostly it comes down to doing the same shit every day + buying lots of beauty products. go to a drug store they're just as good as anything else and affordable

it sounds like you're worried about more than your physical appearance though tbqh
>>
>>18061424
This really. I'm 28. Physical appearance doesn't count for much (although it can be for some, but they are more interested in overall body [making sure you're not a fucking slob] as opposed to just being a cute face [because you can still be a fucking slob with a cute face]).

>I watch a lot of youtubers and it kills me that none of them appears to be self-conscious about their triple chin, or their beer bellies at the age of 26. And they're fucking hilarious.

People like Boogie are attempting to work on their shape, but don't really let others get to them. If anything, he shares stories that you might want to look in to for inspiration (although you seem to be more worried about your face). Besides, you can make up for being 'ugly' by actually having a personality and being yourself. That's what other people look to in the first place. In reference to Boogie again, he does his shtick as Francis and makes a but load of money doing it. You could just do your own thing and people might like it.

tl;dr underage b& and work on being a human.
>>
>>18061440
That's not even that old. You wanna be grown up do grown up shit consistently and fail consistently until you stop failing. Eventually you'll do it easily and then you find what's hard and make yourself miserable by deviating from the shit you got used to doing easily, or building on top of it, and keep going ad infinitum for that sweet perpetual growth.
>>
>>18061440
>the photographer doing the editing was literally showing us how to do fucking paintbrushing. On me. On my pimples / freckles etc. The fucking shame

Not shame. That's their job. They try to bring out the best of a photo. It's not a shame thing. If I come in with acne on bad days, it's good to know that they can get rid of that shit.
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>>18061444
I've been doing the old one-two but the current face wash doesn't seem to stop my acne so I'm cutting off my milk consumption and see how it goes. It's just a bit frustrating.
My counselor once told me I seem to have a really unhealthy self-image so maybe that's why...

>>18061450
I went to a proper business event today. It just seems painfully obvious that all those professionals are all wearing makeups / look real nice and I look underage or something. I got super uncomfortable.

>>18061451
>>18061459
thank you for this
Thread posts: 10
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