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How to properly date?

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I don't understand dating. At least how to do it effectively or pacing it right.

I have taken a woman on like 10 dates over the course of like a month and a half. I have taken her to dinner and a movie each time.

Like dinner and a movie is the epitome of a date to me. What else could we even do? My friends were telling me they are surprised she hasn't told me to fuck off but why would she?

I assume we are dating because any time I ask her out, I explicitly use the word date. I have not held her hand or anything because the time has not been right but I am working on it.

Granted, i am a bit older and she is the same age as me. I am not all that experienced with dating. It's very hard for me because I am very... by the book I guess. I feel like a dinner and movie is like THE most effective date?

Help me.
>>
How about taking her to something more active than a movie? You're just sitting there for 2 hours.
Also, why haven't you made a move?
>>
>>18060504
Making moves is difficult. She told me she wanted to take things slow. Not even sure what that really means but how slow is slow?
>>
>>18060618
Are you paying for her dinners and movies?

There's no way a girl that likes you will spend that much time with you without even holding your hand. Unless we're dealing with a specimen, what's likely is that she doesn't actually like you but hangs around for the free shit. That or she's a weird weird specimen, either way I suggest you pull out and find some other girl
>>
>>18060639
We usually split the cost. Would girls try to hold my hand or do I have to hold theirs? What the fuck is going on?
>>
>>18060388
The thing i learned from dating is that there is never a right moment. You just have to do it. Stop waiting around and bring it up a level
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>>18060833
So what would I do? Just grab her hand?
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>>18060388
Have you fucked her?

Why don't you try
concert
museum
aquarium
fair/amusement park
concert
play
stand up comedy
sports ball game
shopping
to a hipster festival in your city
day trip to small historical town
hiking then food and hot tub or pool
bbq party at your house where she gets to meet your friends
>>
>>18060813
Dude you should be kissing by minimum date two

fingering by date three minimum

fucking by date 5 minimum
>>
>>18060918
lmao

I have big hands with calluses. I will do one of these three things

tell her her hands are tiny, this invites her to compare her hand size to mine

say wow, that's a cool ring and grab her hand and ask her where she got it

bring up exercise and tell her that I hate my calluses then show them to her and she generally feels them and says it's fine

then you just have to watch for when she looks at your lips and your face

I also like inturupting them while they're talking and just kissing the girl in the middle of a sentance
>>
>>18060918
Gentle touches on her arm
Try to touch her without her realizing it
Hold her arm while crossing the street. If she isn't weirded out, hold it more often and move your hands down to meet her hand.
>>
>>18060941
What the fuck?! Fingering by date three?!?! Impossible. Can someone verify if that sounds like good pacing?!
>>
>>18060388
I've been on one date in my life so far and we kissed and I stayed over.

It really depends on how you two feel in the moment but you guys should be more than ready to kiss by date 10
>>
>I have taken her to dinner and a movie each time
I'm amazed that woman is still with you.
Either that or she's using the word "date" like old women do where they call any organized meeting "a date lmao!"
>>
>>18061017
What the fuck am I to do? I can't get any good reads off her. I am afraid to touch her because I don't want to be creepy. I have seen dudes get humiliated for being accused of doing creepy shit.
>>
>>18060388
>What else could we even do?
There is a list of suggestions in the ask the opposite gender anything thread FAQ.
>>
>>18061024
Mate, it's not creepy, especially not after spending so much time together.

I'm amazed you two didn't get sick of each other yet for not progressing this relationship.

What do you do or talk about on your dates? Do you feel chemistry and mutual attraction?
>>
>>18061034
Well, I am for sure in love with her. I don't have the best idea how she feels about me.
>>
>>18060388
see eachother when you wanna see, make some groundrules how the relationship between you 2 shoud work. "Relationship agreement" t. sheldon cooper
>>
>>18061024
Take her on a date that ISNT a movie and dinner, and just lightly touch her hand when you two are sitting somewhere.

It's not like if she isn't into you like that she's going to freak out, throw water in your face, scream RAPE and punch you.
You'll both have an awkward misunderstanding and that'll be that.
>>
>>18061050
She's gone on 10 straight dinner and a movie dates with you in which the two of you split the cost, and despite you having yet to make a move. I think there's a slight chance she's legitimately into you.
>>
>>18061050
You must have some clue. Does she flirt, smile a lot? Made any attempts at physical contact? What do you guys talk about?
>>
How do you even go on 10 dinner/movie dates? Are there even 10 movies currently in the theaters that are worth watching?
>>
Try something classy and with a more intimate setting, look for some kinda restaurant with dim lighting, ideally live music. A jazz club would be great, that has entertainment but gives ample room for talking. Unlike the movies, where you'd either have to be making out, or focusing on the movie.
That should set the stage if you are having difficulties making a move.

Also, you can gauge her reaction to it being an obviously more romantic setting.

I can't speak for everyone, but I think the movies are terrible for dates.

What kind of places did you go to for dinner? What do you talk about? Does she talk about more personal things, or is it just idle chat? How are do your conversations flow? For me, having a really fluid conversation, where you never have to think what to say is the best sign of your chemistry
>>
First, try more creative dates. This is shit she will tell her friends. Instead of "anon took me to see the avengers then we had pizza". It could be "anon took me to this amazing museum there was my favorite Andy Warhol painting and then we went to the zoo and drove through the safari...". Especially now, people pride themselves on what they can brag about on facebook or instagram.

Two, you need to make a move. I can guarantee you, there will not be a Hollywood moment where you have a heart to heart, look into her eyes, with U2 playing in the background, and have a first kiss as fireworks go off. There will be no perfect time. Not trying to be a dick, its just the truth.
>>
>>18060388
how much of a faggot can you be?
going on ten "dates" and still having achieved nothing? not even kissing?
she must really like you, to invest that much time, and you can't even make a move on her?

>>18061013
seriously? kissing on the first date, fucking on date two or three, no point on fingering and doing nothing later...
>>
>Like dinner and a movie is the epitome of a date to me
>concert, museum, aquarium, fair/amusement park,
>I am afraid to touch her because I don't want to be creepy
>Try something classy and with a more intimate setting
>try more creative dates
I find it funny this is legitimately how anons think about dates
just simply go to a bar, its the best place to talk it over and get to know yourselves, plenty of space for touching, light ambiance and even drinks
I honestly don't get how can you go on 10 dates and not even touch her, like some weaboo anime shiit seriously befuddles me
>>
Jesus lad, how old are you?

I learnt early on that movie dates are shit as you can't really talk and get to know each other.

Started seeing a girl recently. First date we went bowling and had a couple of drinks, but nothing crazy as we were both driving.

Second date we went for a meal and drinks. She said she had a spare room if I wanted to stay over. In the end I ended up fucking her in her bed. Good night.

Third date she came to mine, we watched a film and got a takeaway. Then a long night of fucking.

If I hadn't at least kissed the girl by the third date, I'd cut it off there. Grow some nuts, the worst that'll happen is you'll find out she's not keen and then you'll have saved money by not spending more on useless dates
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