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Hey /adv/
So I'm a medfag and my girlfriend of six years just left me. Everything I'll say will sound childlish, but I really can't put it any other way. It started out a few months ago, when she became reluctant to kiss me, hug me or even sleep with me. I confronted her a week ago about it, as I was a day away from an exam, and were cranky. I pressed to find out what is it exactly that suddenly made her not want to even feel my warmth. The usual happened. She feels no love towards me.
I am no saint, I did put on a lot of weight during my first years of uni work, given how hard and stressful it was for me. I did start engulfing myself into addictions, such as PC gaming and smoking weed. It helped me get through those years. When I finally started to find peace with what I was doing, I started noticing how wrongfully I have treated her. How I shunned her away, when she wanted to become closer to me, and how at times we would unnecessarily quarrel over medical details in front of our mutual friends, just because one had to correct the other.
I have lost ten kilograms so far, just because I wanted her to not feel unattractive when around me. I started treating her better, and I was always responsive to what troubled her. I really felt a change within me, and others noticed it too. But it made no difference, as she took off at the first chance she had. I did tell her to leave my appartment with her belongings, as I could not rein my anger over what happened. She just smiled awkwardly and told me she does not love me, and does not feel the need to show any affection towards me.
So tell me, /adv/, is there any chance? She is an honest girl, but I did find her to be texting her male friend about various things. Small talk. When I told her to stop, I cried and she saw how devastated I was at the mere thought of her cheating on me. I thought she has, but she admitted to me that she hasn't indeed, but that talking with the guy just helped her with her problems.
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You neglected her for years and you expect her to be okay with it because you lost 10 kg?
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>>18059548
My logic might sound flawed. But it was merely an example.
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>>18059562
An example of what? It's what you did, and it's what you're expecting of her. Would you forgive her for treating you like shit just because she lost weight?
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Well anon, you've screwed yourself. When a girl reaches that point she's most likely not going to change her mind. Yeah you can fuck up and she'll forgive you as long as she loves you. But once she stops loving you and flat out tells you, that's pretty much it. Just let it be and move on. Trying to make her stay won't turn out good. Worst case scenario is she cheats on you, but I wouldn't completely blame her if you basically made her stay with you.
>Learn from your mistakes and move on.
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An example of my drive to change, what else?
No, if you want a straight answer - then no, I probably wouldn't decide to give someone another chance after I've been neglected for too long just because I have lost weight, just because losing weight means benefits for the first party as well. But saying that it does not matter offers little in terms of discussion, because it shows a certain conviction, which I have indeed felt, to change and be a better person.
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>>18059597
I understand. I don't plan on getting back with her - I just don't know what to make out of this situation. I think the greatest agony of mine is the fact that I was not offered a second chance, even though I was waking up everyday with an intention of being a better human being, just for her, alone.
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>put on weight
>she stays with you for years
>lose weight
>she leaves
maybe she just likes fat guys
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>>18059609
I won't lie, this is I think the first time I sincerely cracked a smile. Might be something in it.
Also, for moving on, do you recommend using Tinder, or will I just end up in a bigger shitcreek?
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>>18059605
And she was in a crap relationship for years. Of course she wasn't gonna offer you a second chance, she gave you years to change and you didn't. I don't really see why you're in "agony" it's not like you were the one being hurt and ignored.
Also in your op you asked if there was a chance, now you're saying that's not what you're after. What exactly are you asking then? Have you come here for an answer on whether this fair to you or not?
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>>18059696
Also I re-read your post and saw that you did change.
Obviously you didn't fix your fuck ups fast enough.
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