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My mom mentality is ruining my relationship

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Thread replies: 6
Thread images: 1

Greentext first

> Be me
> Ages 8 to 28
> always lived at home with my mom
> Mom was an abusive, greedy, closed minded, self rightous, attention whoring alcoholic.
> Naturally I started becoming like her
> Started paying $350 mo/rent every month from 16 to 28
> Mom constantly stole from me
> She gave me "gifts" and expected to be paid back.
> All the while I'm assuming this is how life works.

Fast forward to August 9th, 2015

> Meet girl
> She's incredible
> We get an apartment together
> Mom still latches on
> Beginning of 2016, cut off all ties to mom, she freaks out and says never come back.
> Don't plan on it, bitch.

The last few years I've really turned my life around, but not without of the help of my now fiance'. She is patient, smart, and everything i could ever ask for. She's really given me a second chance at life.

However, I'm still battling demons, and the worst one is how I handle money. This is basically the point of this thread.

I know I am incredibly greedy, and I can't be anymore. I just got my tax return what I agreed with my fiance to split 3 ways: $1,000 for her (for school), $1,000 to save for our wedding, and the rest for me.

This I have no problem with, but there's always that little voice in my head that's screaming at me "That's your god damn money keep it keep it take it".

It sucks, because my fiance thinks I don't care about her and her needs. She's the first person in my life that asks for things, rather than "You have money hand it over" (i.e. Mom, Ex girlfriends, etc etc). I get stupidly protective of my money, which I later regret. I grew up in a household that money was God, and being dirt ass poor, what you have is what you better hold on to for dear life.

How do I get out of this mindset? I'm begging anyone to share their insight.
>>
>im ur gf I'm entitled to part of YOUR tax return :^)
>>
>>18058031
That's just it, $1,000 of it was from writing off school stuff I supplied (and other things, not she how she did it). So right there I knew that would be hers, no problem.

It's when it's my money (checking, saving) etc. I get stupid and greedy.

On one hand, I want to be supportive and providing, that's my role naturally in this relationship.

On the other hand, my debt is beyond awful, and my credit score is shit, I just want all my god damn money so I can get rid of it and finally be at peace.

Where's the middle ground in that? Is there one?
>>
>>18058049
The middle ground is that there is no budget for compassion. You don't buy things / give things to your gf because you're budgeting for it. You do it because you want to and you love her. The same applies from her to you. It doesn't even have to be expensive things. Would a treat / meal / flowers chocolate be that much of a drain on your finances once in a while?

Take a step back and calm down. You're overreacting about this.
>>
>>18058025

>i get 1000 of your moneys
>but also 1000 of it for our wedding which is totally not just for me but for both of us :3
>you can havfe 1/3 of it though

divorce is going to be fun for you.
>>
>>18058061
Yeah I know I overreact, it's sucks, but thank you anon.

I get in these moods/mindsets like "Alright this is it, this is my big break and i'm only going up from here". I know I get my hopes up too that money will no longer be a problem.

Thank god I don't gamble, lol
Thread posts: 6
Thread images: 1


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