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Stop hating your ex

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How do I stop being angry at my ex? I hate that he seems to have moved on immediately and that he doesn't give a fuck about me. I hate that he didn't even seem to feel a tiny bit of guilt for dumping me out of nowhere just a week after he told me how much he loved me.

I keep wishing that he's miserable and lonely but I know that's pointless, that eventually he's going to find a girl who he actually cares about. I just don't want to waste anymore emotional energy on him but it's so hard to move on.
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>>18056752
The best way to get over someone old is to get under someone new.
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>>18056759
I've already tried that and it doesn't work.
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>>18056752
cut contact and find some other dick to jump on.
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>>18056824
i've cut contact on social media but we work at the same company so i can't completely avoid running into him. we do ignore each other when it happens but i'm not sure if that makes me feel better or worse

>find some other dick to jump on
i've already tried and it just makes me feel emptier inside
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>>18056827
well you make a stupid choice by dating someone you work with in the first place.
Best thing you can do is quit your job.
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>>18056830
we're in completely different parts of the company, it's not like i have to work with him. we're just in the same building

thanks for the useless advice though
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>>18056835
why did you broke up tho?
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>>18056846
He told me he hadn't felt an emotional connection with me for a month and didn't see us working out long term.

I don't know if I did something wrong but if I did he never talked to me about it.

I guess that's one of the reasons I'm so angry, is because for the first 6 months of our relationship he'd stress how much he liked me and how he really wanted this relationship to work out. And then he just dumped me without even so much as a warning that he was falling out of love.
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>>18056858
it happens a lot in work/school environments.
I had my first gf back in university and we had all of our classes together. At first it was neat to see that person you care about everyday, but after the honeymoon period wears off you just find suffocating having that person around all the time.
The only cure for a broken heart is time, and a lot of it. Find new hobbies and friends too keep your mind busy. Besides there isn't really a magical solution for this unless you find someone to occupy his place in your mind.
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>>18056867
I know a lot of it is just giving it time, I'm just impatient and want to go straight to the "indifference" stage. I think the fact that I didn't have any closure (and probably never will) is what's making it harder.

Thanks for the advice though. I'm going the making new friends route but I think it'll still be another month or two before I'm ready to try seriously dating again
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Holding your grudge isn't doing anything, why are you still bothered when he doesn't care?

Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
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>>18056875
Fuck time guy. No you need a narrative for what happened and how you feel. Write that shit down for a while. what matters is really how you feel about it now. Look into NVC by Marshall Rosenberg. Practice self-care
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Don't waste your energy worrying and being angry about how he might feel or how he seems to feel. What matters is how YOU feel and what you are going to do with your feels. Be sad. Cry. Scream and rage. Read books. Go for walks. Forgive the asshole for your own benefit, not for his benefit. Move forward with your life. It takes time this process. You'll make it if you keep working at it anon.
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>>18056752
Every breakup has a dumper and a dumpee. And while the split may come as a surprise and shock to the dumpee, the dumper has probably been thinking about it for some time, possibly months. That means that he has already gone through the mourning process you are just beginning. Someone who dumps and moves on is not necessarily shallow and cruel - he's just further along in the getting-over-it process than you.
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for how long you feel like this?
a week?
get back to us if you still feel like this after 6 months
you wont because in a month you will get railed and forget this dude existed
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In a similiar situation OP, but I'm a guy. Do you also feel that the only way you'll feel better is if you get revenge on him somehow? Like humiliate him or something
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Holy shit be happy the cunt is over you because the alternative is horrific . Constantly calling stalking threatening suicide if you don't do X

Be happy the gone and feel free to indulge in your own happiness without any feelings of guilt cause he is done with you and that's just the way it is
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I forgave my ex. But every now and then I talk about her with anons to give ppl some perspective. Welp, I lost 5 years dwelling on an ex for reasons. By the fifth years I ended up on depression meds because I couldn't take it anymore, the meds helped. Took em 4-5 times and they sort of stabilized me. It's an option.
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>>18057097

No, they are a shitty person. They put the dumpee through shock and immense amounts of agony while they desperately try to grasp at straws and salvage the relationship that is already over.
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>>18057097
Sorry but that's bullshit. I've been the dumper before and while my romantic feelings ended months before the break up I still cared enough about the person (as a friend) that it took me some time before I could start another serious relationship again. I think anyone who can move instantly is either heartless or never cared about the person in the first place

>>18057110
It's been a month and I still feel this way :/

>>18057446
I would love if he was miserable forever but I don't believe in karma and know that's not going to happen. It's entirely possible the next girl he meets he'll ed up with for life

>>18057686
This is what I'm afraid of. I don't want to hate someone forever. I want to be able to eventually forgive them and move on with my life but I don't know if I will without any closure
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You use that hatred as fuel to lift, get fit as fuck and let them cry when they find out how amazing you've become later on.
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>>18056759
Ugh, no. This means that the new person will always stand as a distraction from the anger towards the ex.
Thread posts: 23
Thread images: 1


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