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I want to break up with my gf

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We've been together for two years, and we are both 25. I really, really value her, but I never been sure of our relationship.

She can be the cutest person on Earth at times, she can be a great partner, we share great memories together, her family is cool, and many more things.

But,

>I'm not *too* attracted to her, and I've never been "in love" with her

>she's extremely emotional, and she starts this huge epic fights once every couple of months, and can get a bit violent

>she has a rough past (adopted, had an abortion, several partners, etc.)

>she wants a life completely different from the one I want

>she wastes her money on clothes and stupid shit, and mine too

She initiates most of our "breakups" but regrets them the next day. It makes me lose my willpower because it kills me to hurt her... Specially when I remember how excited she is to get married with me and have babies.

It's very unfortunate, because I recognize that me being not "in love" with her as she is with me, makes me put little effort sometimes, and it's a vicious circle. And I am ashamed of what an asshole I am, but I cannot shake this feelings off.

On the other hand, I admit that I fear being alone for the rest of my life. My self-esteem is not too high up, as you can see.

I feel like I'm in a very grim situation, and I don't know how to get out.
>>
Stick with her and stay miserable maybe be happy if you guys figure it out or whatever.

Or

Break up with her and maybe stay miserable and alone but more than likely meet someone you're more compatible with.
>>
>>18056555
Fuck this is tough, but as real as it can get
>>
I want to say first of all, a partner of yours initiating "break ups" is not usual... if someone is pulling that shit on you that means it's probably time to leave.

I'd say that its honestly the better choice to just break up with her. Even if you're afraid of being alone; it's better than being in a relationship you don't really believe in anyway.
>>
kill the relationship! Courage wolf it! Then lift to build your own image. Life's too short for being stuck in not awesome relationships.

addendum: What would help you decide either way? The worst part about the situation is the indecision. How are you going to decide what to do next? How would you know it was time to break up? OR time to stop thinking down this line of umm err maybe breakup. Looking for keys and triggers for "knowing".
>>
IMO if you're not in love with her after 2 years you should leave.

It's really not fair to her for one thing.

Also, from your perspective: Do you really want to stay with someone you don't love?

This whole thing about her you to marry/impregnate her - sounds like she's trying to sink her hooks in. DEFINITELY don't marry or impregnate her until you're sure she's on an even emotional keel.
>>
>>18056573
>>18056584
>>18056595
You guys are all right.

But after reading you three, I feel like the thing I'm actually afraid of is facing her and telling her goodbye.

I fear hurting her for good.

I fear regretting it and wanting to go back in time.
>>
All those things you mentioned are huge red flags and I would break up because of any of them, let alone all of them. Do both of you a favor and end it because you are only wasting time.
>>
>>18056647
The only thing I can say is: keep these things in mind and just continue on the way you have been. Be very careful with analyzing your relationship and how you feel when talking to her. Consider the pros and the cons. Keep in mind that in the end, even if breaking up with her hurts her, it might be for the best considering that breaking up with her not only allows you to find a better partner, it allows her to find a better partner as well.

Basically: just analyze your relationship carefully and try to figure out what is the best for both of you. Nothing has to happen immediately: you still have a lot of time to analyze things and figure out what's best for bth of you.
>>
>>18056535
>wants a life completely different from the one i want


welp, looks like you've got your answer layed out for you there
>>
>>18056535
>>she wastes her money on clothes and stupid shit, and mine too
>She initiates most of our "breakups" but regrets them the next day. It makes me lose my willpower because it kills me to hurt her... Specially when I remember how excited she is to get married with me and have babies.
OP run and don't look back. She will divorce-rape you and take all your money and future income.
Thread posts: 11
Thread images: 1


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