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Boyfriend won't iniciate sex with me?

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Thread replies: 39
Thread images: 2

We've been dating for less than a year but it seems like we've already become an old couple. Which is not as nice as it sounds. I'm a cute girl and have no problem getting male attention (which in couldn't care less about) but my boyfriend doesn't seem to notice when I am really trying to seduce him. He'd rather sleep or play video games. Which I get it because I game alot too but if it's been a while since we had sex I just don't get it. I'm starting to think he just has a much lower libido than I do and I'm questioning if I can live like this. I love sex alot more than most girls and I need it to function. Other than this we get along perfectly. Any advice?
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>>18055443

Have you addressed this probelm with him? What was his response?
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>>18055443
My fiancee and I have been dating for almost 3 years now and I still can't keep my hands off of her. Seems like he must have a low libido or something as you suggested. I still find it strange that he couldn't notice when you are trying to seduce him. Sounds like he might have low energy/potential depression if all he wants to do is sleep or play video games.
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>>18055443
I've been in your bf's shoes, femanon.
After dating my ex for a year or so, I started worrying about coming across too touchy or "rapey", if you will,
and started slowing down on the hinting for sex, since I figured it might make her think that I'm only interested in her for her body.

In retrospect it was a dumb thing to do, so it'll be a load off his and your chest (and a load on your chest if all goes well) if you just put your cards on the table.

Also, don't pressure him too much.
If you need sex to function and wondering if you can live without it, you may have some problems of your own.
Don't wear him out too much, is what I'm saying.

Talk about it, and I'm sure you'll have your answer.

Good luck.
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>>18055464
As a guy I don't understand how another guy could feel this way. Sex is supposed to be something to bond the two of you. It's about much more than just the physical intimacy. I should think most women would be more concerned if you weren't engaging physically because it likely means you are distancing yourself.
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>>18055443
Thank god I saved that image before getting deleted.
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>>18055475
Good point.
I just remembered my ex wasn't all too keen on getting it on, since what I remember her telling me about sex was something along the lines of : "I feel used after sex."
And granted, I started moving away from her around that time, too.

Yeah, take what I said with a grain of salt, OP.
Still though, talk about it.
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>>18055484
What was it?
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>>18055486
A drawing of a girl grabbing the dick of a dude. I thought it was hot.
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>>18055444
We talked alot about it one night and he seemed to get it and take iniciative the next day but went back to normal after that. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
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>>18055720
well you can always masturbate you know
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>>18055443
Say the words.

I want sex from you.
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>>18055443
Does he at least cuddle with you at night?
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>>18056657
He does. Just want that dick so mucho.
>>18056244
I do. Extensively.
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>>18056249
Oh baby I have an he makes it seem like a chore sometimes.. like k I'll just go femfap in the bathroom.
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>>18055541
You're welcome.
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>>18055443
1) Maybe he does have a low libido. I only like having sex about once every few days to once a week. Some of my past girlfriends wanted it pretty much every day, and it became burdensome to me.
2) Maybe he uses too much porn and jerks off instead of engaging with you. I've found personally that it's best not to look at much if any porn when in a relationship, unless we're apart for a while due to travel or something. I'm rarely enough aroused so it's best to focus on the girl when I am.
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>>18056774
I'm leaning towards he has a low libido. Which is just something I don't think I can't live with. I'm very sexually adventurous and I just don't think I can ensure that. It just hurts because he is perfect in almost every other way for me.
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>>18056988
Sorry endure* i really need to turn off auto correct.
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OP here another important note is that sometimes he will get on top of me and kiss me then suddenly stop and start nervously talking about something else. I will be kissing his neck and clearly grinding against him yet he will back off and do something else.. I.. I just don't understand.
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>>18055443
1. talk about it again, clearly and concretely ask for what you want. (look into NVC)
2. yes it might be low libido, this can be changed, google it.
3. what's wrong with you initiating? Be enthusiastic. and sexy. He will have a lot of fun. Tease him and shit.

(side note: just got through a stupidly high libido then low libido patch myself, back to mid-high. Girl was pissed at me. She uses physical to connect a lot, I was like "meh", she wanted me to initiate more. We worked through it by talking about it.)
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>>18056998
maybe talk to him about that shit. Tell him what you like. Maybe he feels self conscious or something (I'm not "supposed to" do this, or some shit). Can't know unless you ask.

Maybe he is a sub. order him around a bit and see if he obeys/likes it.
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is he depressed
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can be anything
hurt his willy on a fap session
not attracted to you anymore
something is bothering him, stress

i can fuck you cute girl so you can function maybe he will get a bit upset and finally fuck you
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>>18056988
Sexual adventurousness isn't the same thing as libido. I'm into bondage and domination and various scenarios. I've given women half a dozen orgasms over a couple hours before. I just don't like having sex every single day.
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>>18057007
>Maybe he is a sub. order him around a bit and see if he obeys/likes it.
LMAO have a (You)
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Wow, I am LITERALLY in your shoes. My bf and I have been together for 4 years and at first we had regular sex because my libido is really high, but after year 2 we stopped doing it so much.. almost completely.

I'm searching here for answers too. The only thing I've found to help is just taking his dick out and sucking it, but now that For Honor has come out he plays that shit 10 hours a day if he can and ignores me. I like the game, but I won't play straight 10 hours, maybe 8 if my house is clean. I've been playing so I'll have contact with him

I don't think it's a matter of us being ugly, or being any less in love. It's just low libido. I have dildos galore he doesn't care if I master bate 3 times a day. Sometimes it's what leads to sex
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>>18057546
>now that For Honor has come out he plays that shit 10 hours a day if he can and ignores me.
your bf is lazy and wastes time on pointless things
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>>18057557

Not typically. Normally he spends hours playing guitar or piano or drawing. Summertime we are outside but nothing to do right meow.
If he was doing any of his normal indoor hobbies I'd still never get laid
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>>18057598
>show him cialis pill
"look what I found."
>he takes it
>2 days straight go by
OH YEAH! FUCKIT! FUCKIT FUCKIT!
>problem solved
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My wife never initiates or does anything creative sexually so I've just given up having sex completely
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>>18057704
Addyi

research it.
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My wife has a much lower libido than me. About once a fortnight we'll fuck like 4-5 times over the space of a weekend and that'll be it. Sometimes we've gone a couple of weeks, in extreme cases a few months without sex.

It's damaging for me OP. I'm lying to her about how much I want sex because I don't want to hurt her (she's the same, gets upset when I voice my concern), my libido has dropped, I don't even try any more. She goes to bed so much earlier than I do and I never fall asleep with her anymore. I used to get into bed with her because there might be some intimacy, or hell, even just some decent cuddling, but now it's nothing.

Sort it out. Sex is important. Don't end up like me.
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>>18057729
How would you 'sort it out' in your case? Divorce?
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>>18057730
>How would you 'sort it out' in your case? Divorce?

Good point. Despite the lack of sex I really love her, and would sooner die than give her up. I'll assume you're in the same boat.

In that case I have no useful advice. Good luck.
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>>18057733
You should just find a fuckbuddy then
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>>18057778
Wife might not be too keen on that.
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>>18057783
Well for me we only do it once every few months so I've lost any sense of guilt in this area
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>>18057007
I do have dom qualities but all I need to trigger it is a little initiation or showing some interest (like rubbing against me or fondling me) and I take care of the rest. It's just difficult when he just lays there or can't take his eyes off a show even while I'm naked and rubbing up against him. Another thing that Im not sure if it matters is that literally every single time he falls asleep he gets a boner. And never does anything with it when he wakes up. He's very weird about that. He doesn't seem to mind blue balls yet I'm over here like hey I will do anything you want!!
Thread posts: 39
Thread images: 2


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