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Does anyone have any experience dealing with anger issues? At

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Does anyone have any experience dealing with anger issues?

At this point I just have to accept the fact that I have massive anger issues that I didn't want to deal with.
Pretty much everyone in my life doesn't know though, because I am great at hiding them.
When something bad happens I play it off like it's no big deal, joke about it and smile.
I do this even thought I am absolutely boiling inside. On my way home after such occasions I stay calm because I'm in public but my mind gets overtaken with violent thoughts. When I get home and I'm alone however, I absolutely explode. It's not anger at that point, it's full blown rage. When that happens I tend to just go berserk and destroy a bunch of shit. Today I put my fist through my god damn door.

Most of the anger is directed at myself for not achieving something. For example, it happened today because I failed my driving test at the last moment in the stupidest way possible. Sometimes it's other people, but it's mostly me being angry with myself. When I calm down I get so disgusted with myself for acting in such a way which just makes me hate myself even more. I just get totally rage-blinded and I'm afraid I might hurt someone else or myself (breaking my arm, which I could've totally done today with the door) in the future if I am unable to contain my anger in public like I usually do.

So anons? How does one temper their anger?
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Look into meditation mate. It could help very much. Might be worth a shot to look into Stoicism. Short summary, it's an ideology revolving around being able to control emotions and realizing feelings aren't real and not worth much. Getting angry at shit you can't do anything about is very energy draining and not helpfull in any way
when you feel it coming
stop and think what you are about to do
you gona throw a fit over something that doesnt matter alot

unless you are under 20, then you just need to grow up
I feel those anger's I still haven't coped,but most ppl the I'm just drunk, find something that soothes you
Sure :^)
im 17
This is a good suggestion but don't become too stoic because you may become an emotionless robot , almost happened to me so... beware

I've already looked into it. Simply rationalizing it doesn't really help much. It makes perfect sense in theory, but once you get angry it's easy to forget.


My anger probably comes from a general dissatisfaction with my life. I've basically had depression for the last 5-6 years of my life (Professionally diagnosed). It's just that bad things and events end up being the straw that breaks the camel's back. The events themselves just give me a reason to flip the fuck out. I agree that it's childish which is why I want to fix it.


Hilarious maymay friendo.
find a way to channel the rage constructively

get a punching bag and some gloves or do 100 pushups

just me but when I get angry and irritated the source of the problem is typically something as simple as not getting enough nutrition in my diet or lack of sleep

emotions tend to get out of control when higher executive thinking function goes into standby mode

that's usually when I make the worst decisions
I'm in the same boat as you OP, but eventually the rage turns into numbness and I just zone out. I can barely keep a conversation with anyone other than my best friend anymore due to the lack of caring. I get the rage fits frequently over tiny things, especially memories. These memories have a lot to do with getting revenge, wanting respect or dominance.

I've tried meditation and it only made me become more aware of my patterns. Apparently it changes brain structure to make you more calm, but I found I had more nervous/rage fits after doing it for around a year, but it might be from other causes. I guess crippling depression turned into rage.

Anger is a defence mechanism for another feeling. Your drivers test accident was initially sadness and embarrassment, but it turned into anger so you can externalise it and numb yourself. Anger provided a quick solution to ancient people, but now we have our own set of problems that our minds haven't adjusted to yet.

This happened to me as well. After seeing how little I've achieved and how much I hated my situation/self, I tried to take control of my emotions. Even now I struggle to this day with being sensitive or acting naturally. I used to be outgoing and I got lots of girls, I turned Stoic, and now there's nothing. I feel numb. I can barely stay in the present. I lost my taste and love for art and I'm unempathetic. Please OP, if you are considering this, be cautious.

I'll be lurking.

OP here.
I think I'm one of those people that's very detached from my feelings.
I can analyze what happens all day long, but when it comes down to it I'm not sure what bothers me and what doesn't.
During my day to day life I don't feel much, amusement at certain thing at most. I am far from emotional and I tend to look at things rather rationally in the vast majority of situations. It's not even particularly easy to make me angry.

However, when something does make me mad it REALLY does.
As I've mentioned before, I think my rage comes from a general dissatisfaction with my life due to chronic depression.
Life to me is mildly tolerable at best, so when it gets even shittier I flip the fuck out very easily.
Perhaps other people would cry and break down, or experience sadness to cope with their feelings.
I just get mad instead. I wish I could figure out why I'm this way, or what caused me to become this way in the first place.
I speculate a lot but I have no idea.
As previous anons said: Find an output, be it martial arts, lifting or poetry.

I can recommend something creative such as poetry because it helps you understand yourself as cringey as that might sound.
As someone who's had to pay for repairs from my own fits of anger, it can become expensive and is a constant reminder as to why I don't have children. I have a lot of scars now too it got so bad I was enjoying the pain from smashing shit but seriously who doesn't like to flip the table when they're mad? Crashing it into the wall is just the next step. Feels amazing even when bleeding, but then you got to rip the door off because you hurt yourself. I'd say definitely invest in a punching bag and workout. I've tried meditation, weed, incense, candles, nothing does the trick for me and booze just amplifies it.

I try to observe instead why exactly was I set off, what is the root problem and is it worth the cost of repairs and possible self harm? Or worse, how can I raise a family if I'm so unstable. Though I find the more I try to be stable the crazier I become. Sometimes it's perfectly healthy to go mad every now and then or you'll erupt like a volcano. The trick is finding a balance I'm sure.
Your rage can come from being detached from feeling overall because you may fell that way but actually you are bottling you feelings and once a strong emotion comes you go all out
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