What do I do?

About two weeks before the semester started, she became distant and cold. She didn’t want to have sex, or do much. She would just watch TV with me and it was a good way to sedate me and not focus on anything. She tried to break up with me two weeks ago. She said she loved me, and wanted to be with me in the future, but for right now she can’t handle me and school. “She wanted to put me in her pocket for later”. The day after she broke up with me, she regretted it and realized that I care for her so much and that she will need my help to go through all this. I’ve tried giving her space to think and figure things out. I’ve tried talking to her non-stop about what she should do or how to solve her issues. I know people don’t listen but I don’t know what to do.

She has had a fever every couple days for the last two weeks. She gets no sleep to do homework, which she could have done on the weekend or managed her time better. And she doesn’t eat regularly. All of those combined make her more sick. She has had something similar to an ear infection, and has had trouble hearing out of one of her ears. But she refuses to go to a doctor. I can’t force her to go.

2/3

Besides me, she has family issues. She hates her mother and sees her as the enemy. Her mother isn’t the greatest mother, but she’s not bad either. Her mother has been trying to get her to see a psych but she refuses. Her mother addresses the concerns she has with her daughter to me because she wont talk to her own mother. My gf hates being around her family because her two younger sisters fight quite a bit. She can’t stand the quarreling and the fighting.

Girlfriend also doesn’t have many friends. Its hard to make friends at my Uni, but its also harder when everyone commutes. She goes to a jewish club and talks to plenty of people there, but she doesn’t have any actual friends from there. She just fills the void with these acquaintances.

I know I’ve typed up a bunch of shit but I really don’t know what to do. I love this girl and she has a lot of issues to get over. But she’s not going about it the right away. She can’t just throw everyone else in her life away when she can’t handle her shit. What do I do?

>>18054221
She's going to self-destruct and you need to make her aware of that. Out of all of those problems, she's created them herself. My girlfriend goes to school full time, her mother doesn't even talk to her in public, her dad's cancer is back, her brother is frequently in the hospital for suicide threats, yet she still has time to pass all of her classes, ace her clinicals, visit me five hours away frequently, AND manage a full time job. She needs to pull her head out of her ass and be responsible for her work. Amazing that she is going to graduate at 19, stress is stress, you still need to get your work done.

TL;DR

Thatsbstressful and scary anon, I'm sorry about that. The best you can do is be as supportive as you can without being drained. It sounds like you're already doing all that you can do.

>>18054249
Part of the problem for her is that she's so successful with so little effort. Now that actual effort is required, she doesn't know what to do. She told me the other day, that if she won a nobel prize, she wouldn't be happy, she would just want to win another one. Its bullshit because the way she is going, nothing will ever happen.

>>18054252
My girlfriend is pushing everything in her life away, loves me but cant be with me, and is a general shit show.

>>18054254
It's not even that. I've done what she's doing now before. It took me a long time to get out of it. I don't know how to make her see that.

>>18054262
I think that happens to a lot of people who go to college in math-heavy fields, myself included. It takes some time to adjust, and for some it takes a little failure to set you on the right path, but it all comes down to self-accountability and being willing to give up free time for more success.

Study on campus, preferably alone. Don't bring your phone. Don't leave until your assignments are complete or you know every subject on the exam. That's my advice for her.

>>18054268
Yes school is an issues but it can't overpower her life. She can't balance life and school.

Bump bump

Bump bump bump I need it guys