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This is gonna be more of a rant than anything. But I broke up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years ago. I'm not sure if I was being a spastic, but basically every time I expressed a problem I had, making sure to use "I feel" statements, such as "I feel rejected when you do xyz" she would just get all defensive, and turn it around on me. For a while when we got our own apartment, I think the stress of being financially responsible for her own living situation got to her. We quit having sex for a few months. I was getting frustrated. I tried really hard not to get pissy when she rejected me, but after trying to get her in the mood for like the 10th time that month and getting shut down I started to get really frustrated. Of course she blamed for getting angry, even though I feel like that's a pretty reasonable thing to be pissed off about. I said basically "I feel like I should be allowed to have sex with my girlfriend every now and again. When you reject me I feel unwanted".
Of course instead of asking me why I felt that way, or asking how we could solve the problem she just shot back "I don't think sex is important in a relationship." and of course made it about my attitude, like I was so ridiculous for getting angry about my girlfriend not wanting to fuck me for a month.
After a couple months the problem resolved itself, and we sorta started having sex again, but not as much. The sex thing is just the most obvious example, because we usually fought over really stupid stuff that I can't remember, but the arguments would always follow the same pattern of me bringing up a concern, and then her telling me that it doesn't matter really, and blaming me for something else I did, that she would of course never bring up when it happens, but saving it until I have a concern, and turning what could have been a peaceful conversation into a big fucking argument.
cont.
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>>18053384
It fucking pissed me off. But at the same time I'm conflicted. Part of me feels like a beta numale for needing my girlfriend to acknowledge my feelings. But then another part of me feels like that is totally reasonable, especially since I'm not blaming her, I'm just telling her calmly what I'm feeling, and hoping that she will care enough to see if it is something that can be fixed.
Like is it just to be expected that women don't fucking care about guy's feelings? It's not like she is a sociopath. She volunteers at an animal shelter, and cares about animals like crazy. She saw a kitten that got ran over on the side of the road, and she stopped to pick it up, and take it to the vet. She called me because she was beside herself, and crying like crazy.
That's another argument we had. We got a cat together for our apartment, but she is noisy as hell at night and kept waking me up. I told my girlfriend that I wanted to keep the cat outside our bedroom so I could get a good night's sleep, because waking up 5x a night was leaving me exhausted. All she had to say to that was "But I feel so bad for our cat, I don't think she wants to be alone at night"
To which I said, yea, but she's a cat from a shelter. She'll get used to it. Doesn't it bother you that I'm miserable all day because I can't sleep? And again she just ignored what I said and brought up how she feels bad about the cat.
What do you think guys? Is this just how women are? Like are my expectations too high? Because other than this admittedly big thing she is a great gf. Not a hoe, not an attentionwhore, we split everything 50/50, she pulls her own weight and then some. But emotionally it's like she isn't all there.
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>>18053397
>>18053384
She was either cheating on you or stopped caring.
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>>18053402
I sincerely doubt she was cheating. She was working about 60 hours a week at the time. There really wasn't any time that she couldn't account for. She wasn't being suspicious or anything like that. So yea, she stopped caring. That was the whole point of my post. Why did it happen? Are all women like this? Because I'll admit that I may be biased, but I seem to notice a lot of women act this way toward their men.
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>>18053384
That gift reminds me of an album cover.
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>>18053410
>I sincerely doubt she was cheating
You kinda sound like a betacuck, no offense
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>>18053429
Nah
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>>18053384
The way you expressed your concerns made you sound like a bitch. Stop fishing for her to ask why and just tell her. and yes it seems like your girlfriend stopped caring. Life shit gets in the way and she was too immature and selfish to handle it.
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>>18053410
No op we're not. please don't fall for the
"All women are ___" b.s.
I've been in a similar situation where i dated a man that wasn't emotionally avaliable to me. Over time i realized that was who he was and would always be. He was raised to be selfish and any one elses problems were completely irrelevant. What i wanted never mattered because he would decide what 'we' want always. Things got worse over time. i suggest you break up with her.
A man deserves to be loved too and sex IS important in a healthy relationship.
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>>18055114
oh wait op, sorry forgot u already said u broke up with her. You did the right thing
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good job OP
I'm afraid i'm in a similar situation, gf starting to disregard sex, beginning of relationship she was almost always horny, i have a really high sex drive so i thought it was perfect.
suddenly no sex, i get the "i don't even need sex in a relationship" thing, saying she would be fine with no sex forever, and i'm just like well we differ pretty greatly then and this probably won't work out.
we had sex valentine's day and she initiated it so i'm hoping she's just in a weird hormonal patch of low libido. otherwise there's going to be problems and i'm definitely going to leave her.
Good for you OP, you know what you need in a healthy relationship for you and you're on the way to finding one.
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