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I'm improving, my wife isn't - causing resentment

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So I'm moving on up in life, making more money, practicing self improvement routines, etc. The wife however, is not, and is still content to be a pile of grouchy pessimistic laziness. I still love her of course, and she has a lot of good traits, but she has no desire to improve herself, and I'm starting to resent her for it. Has anyone here dealt with this? I know it's easy to say "just do X activities with her", which I do, but she has no interest in actually making herself better. I don't believe in stagnation, and I'm too young to rest. (we're in our mid 20's.) Where do I go from here?

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I think the first step is to ask her if she wants help. One of the harsh truth in life is that you can't help people who don't want to be helped. You'll just end up inconveniencing her and you'll both hate each other for it. So ask if she she wants help. Tell her that you don't want her to answer whatever would please you. You want to know if she she really, really honestly wants help with improving herself and whether she would still want that even if you weren't together.

If she says yes, if she does want to improve and would like to be helped, then you can move forward to the next big question and ask her how you can help.
>my woman is lazy

Next thing you'll tell us is that she's unloyal.
Are you sure she doesn't want to improve herself or she's happy with who she is in the present and you're not happy with who she is?
similar story op. i went from partying and being a loser to educated and career driven and wanted to better myself and life. my partner does fuck all but work and get drunk and be lazy all day and its leading to resentment.
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get her pregant then kill fetus, that will make her think 2x
Give us instances where you tried doing an activity together and how that ended up.
Can you give us a reason why she doesnt want to? Like is it self loathing or she is satisfied? You need to give us a lot more info on her so we can give you an accurate answer.
Same. gf now is 19 and im 21. I value keeping a clean home, cooking meals, being organized. She comes over and leaves shit out, never cooks, often sleeps on my couch and claims we hung out but its not her fault because our work schedules are different.
Its really just something you'll have to wait for. You can't force maturity, you can only set a good example.

Also maybe take time to try to pry out what her feelings are like, ask whats making her happy in life or sad. If you get a closed off response, shes depressed.

Try cutting off sex for a bit, she'll definitely notice that and itll mess up her hormones so she'll get pissed off and explode with whats weighing her down.
Relationships don't work like that.
When you start dating a person, much more when you marry them, you accept the who they are and you should accept that if they change it might be in a way you don't enjoy.
You wouldn't buy a hairdryer and expect it to start making you coffee.
Why do you get with a person and expect them to change to suit you better?

You want to improve yourself, and that's great. Your wife hasn't expressed any desire to, and seemingly never had. Let her be. Do your thing, ask her if she'd like to do it with you, if she doesn't then keep doing it for yourself.
Self improvement is such a personal thing. You can't force others to get on this path.
Thread posts: 10
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