My best guy friend molested and groped me just hours ago. Im

>>18031690
Let your boyfriend beat up your friend. He won't kill him but for sure he will never ever molest you again.

Depends how bad you feel about it and how serious it was. If it was just a small thing that you got away from quickly and nothing too bad happened, and you feel you can get over it and forget then just cut all ties to that ass and don't tell your boyfriend, he could get in trouble if he beats up the guy. If it was serious enough, maybe report him? Or if you need support, then yes tell your boyfriend but try to make sure he doesn't do anything too stupid if possible. No need to make the situation harder for both of you when that "friend" of yours is the one who did wrong.

So basically, do what's best for you. Or maybe just beat him up yourself, would be good to make sure he doesn't do that shit to anyone else.

>>18031690
Be chill, shit happens. Molest him back at some point...

>>18031710
This.

>Why did he grope u?

>>18031710

this OP. I've experienced sexual abuse in the past. What you don't want is to give your abuser leverage and more control over your life. It's an extremely difficult decision to make but if your boyfriend could potentially go to jail for doing something then it will just make your life worse.

Hope you get through this. Do you have anyone else you can talk to?

>>18031690
How exactly did it go down?

dont have best guy friends
dumb whore

>>18031758
he invited me over with other friends and they went away. he kept touching my legs, touched my neck and went up the back of my shirt and rubbed my back, then he grabbed me around the waist from the back and started grabbing my boobs. i pushed him off sometimes and other times i just froze. we've been great friends for years and hes never come onto me and he knows im in a relationship. i left as quickly as a i could when i felt safe.

>>18031787
What would've triggered this? Were you leading him on?

>>18031787
Your on-and-off passiveness will probably come off as some sort of approval to him, and I think he'll try it again.

Do you know if he was drunk or anything? He really just went for feeling you up out of nowhere?

Definitely tell your boyfriend about it, but make sure he doesn't tactical nuke strike his house or anything. Cut off contact with your friend.

Cut guy off as friend completely, tell boyfriend immediately.

>>18031787
I've slept with my "best female friend" who I've know for about 12 years several times, both while she was single and when she was married. I don't think there's ever been a time where something didn't lead to it, whether it be alcohol and provocative banter. Either you're missing some info, or you somehow missed some MAJOR red flags up until now and I can't imagine how.

Either way just cut ties and move forward with life. Sometimes shit happens that you don't like in life, but instead of being a victim and letting it define you just put it in retrospect and keep chugging.

>>18031793
no. we've had no flirty conversations ever, i dont make physical contact with him, he just started once we were alone.

>>18031798
he wasnt drunk or on any drugs.

>>18031807
>he wasnt drunk or on any drugs.
Yeah, cut him out immediately.

>>18031807
Maybe your tits were out... What length skirt were you wearing?

>>18031806
HOW DID YOU DO IT

>>18031816
i was wearing leggings with an oversized long sleeve tshirt. i was completely covered

Just curious, since it seems the advice given ITT is solid: does he have a gf?

>>18031710
I agree with this post honestly, and OP I'm sorry that happened. I'll never understand how some men can do things like that. The thought of hurting a woman in that way makes me sick, and this is coming from someone who's gf got me into BDSM stuff (on the light side though)

Do whatever you need to do to feel safe again. But yes your man could get in trouble

>>18031816
STFU with that shit man lol, none of that matters, I'm a guy and I can control myself even if a woman was sunbathing in the nude I'm not going to go over and grab her tits

>>18031860
Oh oh oh, I have self control, I don't assault women rah rah rah

>>18031883
18+ board son.

>>18031787
>i left as quickly as a i could when i felt safe
so this is a guy you say is your best friend and a simple no didn't work yet you stayed instead of getting up and leaving immediately. this is on you after the first grope.

I really feel bad for our soldiers and the shit they deal with from people that profess to love them and have their back.

>>18031690

This is the sort of shit that promotes the belief in rape culture. Here you've got the chance to do the right thing and go to the police but instead you hop onto an anonymous image board to ask what to do.
Fuck you're pathetic. I hope you get raped you dumb bitch.

>>18031690
Did you do anything to stop him?
If not, then keep your big mouth shut and don't cause drama.

>>18031904
You don't think saying "I hope you get raped" promotes belief in rape culture?

Well, knowing you came to 4chan to advice
>>18031703
I'd suggest this. Maybe just because I'd find it vicariously satisfying.

Although that could get messy, your boyfriend could get in to some trouble. Might be better report it and let the law work for you (although I'm not sure what applies here and what real consequences might result).

Also just having him know your bf was aware (or letting the creep think he was) would scare him off possibly.

Definitely on your side no matter how he takes that, cut off all further contact beyond that point.

>>18031932
This guy felt it propper to sexually assault her. If she just lets it go he could do it to other women, but no don't want to be a victim even though she is. Gotta stand there and take it, let him do what he wants because she's a gutless wonder.

To answer your question, she didn't deserve this and no other woman does either but if she can stand by and let him get away with it, then she's asking for it and I wholeheartedly believe she wants to be raped.

If he wasn't on any drugs, and this all came out of nowhere, I'm very tempted to believe he got his advice from /r9k/ or some equally abhorrent place to "just go for it, because women love it when you take charge".

People assume that you have to be "asking for it" for some dude to come over and hit on you. I go out to the bar a few times a month with my very conservatively dressed female friend, and I assure you, you don't need to be doing anything. She'll have dudes try to strike up conversations with her while the two of us are at a private table. She even had some guy try to kiss her while we were smoking a cigarette once.

>>18031924
she stayed at the guys house long after this started and made no attempt to leave. I'll bet they were kissing a bit and he got handsy, she move his hand a few times but kept going. Notice she doesn't say a word about how late she stayed and it was probably after they fell asleep in the bed, she woke up and tiptoed out.

>>18031953
Dude, you can dress it up however you want, but it's transparent as fuck that you are just looking for an outlet for your (assumingly vast) frustration with women.

What do you hope to achieve with your comment? Is not advice, it's not support, it's an abrupt, harsh criticism of someone's immediate actions in a frightening situation that you will literally never ever have to face.

Get the fuck over yourself dude.

>>18031960
Looks like she's using the victim card because she's feeling guilty she cheated on her man. Typical whore.

>>18031703
Thats called assault and the punishment is a courtmarshal.

>>18031973
she is more fearful of what her partner will do to her friend if he finds out, in fact she doesn't seem to be angry with the friend at all only surprised. She also says the guy wasn't drunk or on drugs but she doesn't say if she was or wasn't.

>>18031969
>Dude, you can dress it up however you want, but it's transparent as fuck that you are just looking for an outlet for your (assumingly vast) frustration with women.

Why are you projecting?
What about me wanting to stop sexual assaults is bad huh? Have you ever been sexually assaulted? One of my family has and it's exactly cunts like OP that run and hide or worse, lie, that ends with horrible people being able to continually act out these unwanted sexual acts on innocents.

And what the fuck do you know you dumb cunt. Almost every advocate against sexual assaults advises going to the police. Is op special that she can't do that?

>>18031994
>>18031994
Lol, don't just start throwing the word 'projecting' around, son. You're wishing violent sexual assault on a stranger, who s recently sexually assaulted. I don't need a fucking dossier.

>I know a victim, therefore I know what's best!

You're right about the perpetrating assault being an issue, but you think that makes you "right" in general, and you certainly are not. If you had bothered to consider OPs actual situation before opening your fat gob, you may realize that there are many things to consider before just throwing a bowling ball into the glass house.

>OPs husband kills or assaults the guy. He will get a court martial at best. Where does that leave OP?
>What evidence can OP actually bring to the police? Beyond that, how long is OPs husband gone? Proceedings take a long time, will she be safe?

And hey, maybe a recent victim was just looking for advice on how to handle a new, frightening situation. I don't remember reading her say she wasn't going to the police. If you really knew or cared about victims, you'd know the only thing you can do is provide support and guidance.

>>18032046
Just wanted to say that I support you 100%, the guy you're replying to isn't in his right mind.

>>18032046
And the best support and guidance is to go to professionals that deal with this every day. There are avenues available instead of hopping onto an anonymous image board. Jesus christ if that's your coping mechanism you're fucked in the head.

I do know what's best when you've been sexually assaulted. Crying like a little bitch isn't it. You go talk to a professional that's been there and has experience, you don't ask complete fucking strangers over the internet.

And what is ops situation? She's with a hot-head military man that can't be reasoned with? Letting her fear rule her will not help in the slightest. She needs to find her strength and do something about this. The longer it goes unreported the harder it is to prove and eventually he'll get away with it.

Again what advice does she need beyond GO TO THE POLICE who are equipped to deal with this, and if they aren't, will know people that are.

All we know is some story op has told us. We don't know what really happened. Maybe they fucked and she's remorseful. Maybe he really did assault her. Point is GO TO THE POLICE. It's their job to work out the truth and help her.

I don't buy it.
he came onto you.... you eventually stopped it.

that's normal, you took control of your situation and got it of it.
you weren't raped or molested or abused.

if I was your boyfriend I'd be more mad at you.... why the fuck were you allowing yourself in that position and why didn't you leave the moment he touched your legs.

figure your shit out woman, don't play games and then blame all the men in your life try to pit them against each other.

>>18031787
OP girl I get it. Here's what I would do:
Take some time for yourself. Figure out what you want to do moving forward. If you want to cut all ties with that asshole, do it. You can contact him once and tell him that because of his actions your friendship is over and he can go fuck himself. If your other friends are like "Lol why aren't you talking to that asshole?" tell them what happened.
I'd wait to tell your BF if you think he'll do something stupid. Wait a few weeks or so and then tell the BF, saying that you handled it yourself.
If your ex friend tries to contact you after you tell him to stop, definitely hold the threat of having your BF rearrange is face over his head.
PS this is a bad place to post this kind of shit. Too many redpillers reeeeeing about how much they hate women.

>>18032103
>how to handle a bad situation and make things worse 101:
>don't go to the authorities
>spread rumors to your mutual friends
>deceive your significant other and demolish any trust they had in you when they find out you were hiding this from them (trust me, men just won't understand the reasons why)
>incite violence between your partner and friend if he continues trying to contact you

And you wonder why so many of us "hate women"

>>18032115
Absolutely not.
She can end a friendship over what happened without having to file a police report. That's just retarded.
It's not spreading rumors when they say "Hey, why aren't you talking to Asshole anymore?" and she tells them why.
Waiting until she has the situation under control before telling her boyfriend to avoid him hulking out and killing the dude isn't "hiding information" it's just giving her an opportunity to handle the situation herself before getting the BF involved.
And if this asshole keeps trying to contact her after she tells him to stop? Fine, fuck him, she doesn't owe him any favors.

>>18031690
here we go again with the "guy friend" meme. they are not your fucking friends they want to have sex with you.

>>18032140
>She can end a friendship over what happened without having to file a police report. That's just retarded.
She shouldn't approach him, that just inflames the situation. If she gives him a chance to weasel his way out he will. And she seems gullible enough to buy it.

>It's not spreading rumors when they say "Hey, why aren't you talking to Asshole anymore?" and she tells them why.
Only if it's true.

>Waiting until she has the situation under control before telling her boyfriend to avoid him hulking out and killing the dude isn't "hiding information" it's just giving her an opportunity to handle the situation herself before getting the BF involved.
Sitting by and twiddling your thumbs isn't handling a situation. Hiding information from someone that cares for you and would provide you with comfort and support if you asked is also not handling a situation. Nothing about this situation is her handling it.

>And if this asshole keeps trying to contact her after she tells him to stop? Fine, fuck him, she doesn't owe him any favors.
And her bf doesn't deserve to have his life ruined because she didn't handle the situation properly.

>>18032158
>Girl on the internet says she was molested
Automatically
>Yeah but you lead him on didn't you you dumb whore

You're one of these guys, right?
>>18031778
>>18031793
>>18031816
>>18031924
>>18031973

OP if you're even still reading this don't listen to these people. To them there will be no conceivable way that this was anything but your fault

>>18032172
>girls on the internet

That was your first mistake. Sure there are many girls on the net, but those that come here are all scum. A propper woman doesn't waste time on sites like this.

Second was thinking that most of us are naive enough to believe bullshit we read on this site, especially when there's a disclaimer that quite clearly says, "The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."

Third, wheres the proof beyond a he said she said scenario. I can claim I'm a woman and was molested till the cows come home but that means shit when you're on an anonymous image board with no proof.

Also no, I'm not any of those. My paragraph comments are easily identifiable.
I don't condone rape but I don't condone cunts that hide from it because it's scary. Plenty of shit is scary but other women can still persevere. This is either a very, very stupid woman, a liar, or a troll.

>>18032200
Yeah, my point exactly, thank you, goodnight.

>>18032208
>implying you'd care if a male was molested

By the way you reacted, i'd bet you wouldn't. You're just a typical hypocritical whore.

>>18032200
> A propper woman doesn't waste time on sites like this.

No proper person would. It is not a gendered thing.
No well adjusted, likeable person comes on a website like this.

>>18032234
Touche. I Can't argue with this

>>18032172
Git trulled

>>18032225
Bruh, if you project any harder you're going to send up the "Butthurt Redpiller" symbol and summon Elliot Rodgers's skinny white ghost

>>18032245
Do you even read what you type? Why do you use so many buzzwords? Do you need a tampon to fix that leak in your cunt, sourpuss?

>>18032086
See, the thing is, you read OPs story and immediately you try to figure out which part of it was "her fault". It's been a few hours man, let her settle down. Furthermore, you're one of those guys who, if a girl walked into a police station and said "I was molested" and had 0 evidence in hand, you'd just start putting all your effort into trying to figure out why her innocent male friend was being accused by an evil woman who probably seduced him and regrets it. That's basically what you're doing right now.

>We only know OPs story
Who else's story do you need? His? You're not the police, as you made so very clear, why the fuck are you suddenly so interested in defending this guy? Because he's male, and she's female? You don't need to open up a case file to take someone's story at face value, you are contributing nothing by assuming up scenarios that you have no way of confirming. And don't you dare post that line from /b/ you fucking teenager, if you're not gonna believe something you read then why spend time trying to justify the actions of someone who, in your mind, doesn't exist?

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>>18032265
lol

>get groped hours ago
>better post on the internet about it
>HEEELP I'M TRAUMATIZED HOW DO I HANDLE IT
By not playing the professional victim and getting therapy if you're serious, so your therapist can decide whether you've been traunatized or just molested.

>>18032275
>See, the thing is, you read OPs story and immediately you try to figure out which part of it was "her fault". It's been a few hours man, let her settle down. Furthermore, you're one of those guys who, if a girl walked into a police station and said "I was molested" and had 0 evidence in hand, you'd just start putting all your effort into trying to figure out why her innocent male friend was being accused by an evil woman who probably seduced him and regrets it. That's basically what you're doing right now.

This didn't happen at all. I read ops story and immediately thought,"wow this bitch is stupid. Why is she wasting time here and not at the police station where she can bring justice to this dick?". I not once jumped on the "It's her fault" bandwagon until I read what happened.
Does it look like her fault? No. Does it look like his fault? Yes. BUT she didn't deny him. She even says it herself, she fucking froze half the time. Instead of thinking to herself, I have to stop this, what does she do? She lets him continue because she's "frozen".
Not once did she leave until it was "safe" to. Why wasn't it safe? Besides him touching her did he try to rape her? Did he threaten her life? All we have is her tale. Not his. She could've fucked him. She could've made this entire thing up and doesn't even have a male friend. All we have is a dumb cunt that doesn't know her friend, doesn't know her boyfriend and doesn't know herself.

I'm defending the right to innocence until proven guilty. It becomes my business when a dumb cunt posts asking for advice. If she really wanted, she'd have gone to the police but no, she needs armchair therapy.

>>18032296
She asked how to break the news to her violence-inclined boyfriend, because it turns out sexual assault is a complicated thing with many people involved.

But I'm sure your bank handed advice is appreciated.

>>18032321
>I'm not blaming her
>I'm just saying that she should've done this, shouldn't have done that, might've done this, could've done that

You have no problem defending his 'right to innocence', but are actively refusing hers, the only person in this situation you have any context for whatsoever. Your doublethink is only oblivious to you.

I'm not saying we should crucify every dude on the mere word that he molested someone, but you're using some bipartisan integrity as an excuse to exercise your very obvious bitterness.

>>18032332
No she didn't. She asked for advice in general.
>"Ive never gone through any trauma like this. What should I do?"

It's like if a bunch of people who had never been in a car before started yelling at you after you're hit in an accident because they don't think you did it right.

>>18032348
So I'm blaming her for being molested? Are you sure I'm not blaming her for her incompetence in dealing with the situation?

You feminists are fucking retarded.
You bitch and whine about rape culture and sexual assaults and want something to be done about it, but when the chance comes along, your advice is to run and hide, pretend like it never happened. You (feminists) fucking sicken me, you honestly do. You're a plague on this earth and demean women everywhere you go.

And yes I am bitter at op and women LIKE OP. They're weak and pathetic. They've no spines and like a feminist, give normal women a bad rep.

>>18032355
And instead of suggesting "go to the police" like a normal person, you used it as a half step onto your ivory tower.

You have no reason to believe OP is lying or omitted anything, but you do anyway because she's female. On the reverse, you DO have reason to not trust OPs friend, and yet you give him the benefit of the doubt, because he's male. I bet you are fancying some half cocked response about it being about being impartial, but that's literally the opposite of what you're doing.

>>18032371
I'm male, and certainly not a feminist.

I just don't have some poisonous "us vs them" duality to my worldview. You people look for any excuse to lash out at someone, and in this case that person is a very recent victim of sexual assault, by a close friend no less. You're bullying someone who is probably at their absolute lowest, and I think that makes you pathetic.

I don't think wanting to defend people who have been hurt makes me anything other than decent. The very absolute least you could do for someone is, when they tell you they've been hurt, stop telling them they haven't.

>>18032391
I give him the benefit of the doubt because op made such stupid choices.
Nothing she did was the right course.
It takes two people to tango. He touched her but she didn't stop it. She didn't make it clear she wasn't into it and his advances were unwarranted.
She stayed to an undisclosed time with this man that is molesting her.
She could've left, but no, frozen.
She couldn't clearly see the propper course is go to the police if you've been or feel sexually violated.
The longer she waits the harder it is to prove and the more she seems like a liar.

Berating her for her stupidity is not defending him. And pointing out there is no evidence to support her claims isn't defending him either, merely pointing out that she's got no leg to stand on.

>>18032418
You're a feminist.
You sound exactly like one. Talking out your ass over things you have no clue about, except that someone is "offending" a woman and you need that white armor to protect her.

She should go to the police you dense cunt. Go ask women in shelters, and rape victims, their councilors, do some actual fucking investigation. You'll be told exactly what they tell everyone GO TO THE POLICE.

This isn't a fucking game. She was assaulted. What is the first response in this thread? Is it to act mature and report it? No, it's to tell her bf and start violence which will only cause more problems, which is childish at best.
What's the second reply, basically do what's best for you, which flys in the face of what advocates against assault say, GET SUPPORT BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT ALONE.

But no, she's vulnerable and your fucking advice is to go be alone some more.

And where did I say she hasn't been assaulted? I've maintained she COULD be lying. Not that she is. I'd love for the piece of shit that hurt her to rot for this, but you fucking dicks only care about her stupid, fragile feelings, not shining some light on him so he can't do it again.

>>18032448
>I'm not blaming her
>Blame her
I'm on my phone, and I'm really tired of this, so I'll try keep it short and leave you to your echo chamber.

You're not supposed to touch a girl until she explicitly tells you to stop, you're supposed to WAIT until she explicitly says GO AHEAD. That's what the whole 'rape culture' thing supposed to make people aware of, because this idea is somehow foreign.

Besides, you like assuming, here's some things you failed to consider:
>This friend could almost certainly overpower her. He could be violent (even secretly)
>She expressed the people they were out with were "his friends", who knows what they were planning
>She could have been his ride there, and maybe her only ride back. Maybe it's a bad part of town, maybe she's far away. Maybe no cash for a taxi, maybe can't call an uber

And the thing is, m8, is that even if these things weren't the actual case, they are almost certainly things that OP considered during the assault and account for pretty much all 'improper' behavior of pretty much every sexual assault survivor ever.

You people look for reasons to cut down anyone you can for being victims, and yet this place is one of the biggest self-victimizing places on the web.

>>18032503
What the fuck do you know about my advice, nigger? I work as an EMT, I promise you that I know more about the proper way to care for a sexual assault victim AS WELL AS saving and document evidence for the police than you or your two dads know, combined.

>>18031703
Eventually he will beat up OP and murder her and put her body parts in plastic bags. Thats when its no fun to have a gorilla bf anymore.

>>18032522
Are you a sexual assault survivor? I'm talking to one right now and her advice is GO TO THE POLICE.
But hey I could be making this up. Who knows.
All there is, is my side of the story. And because I've got a penis, i'm automatically guilty, just like her having a cunt makes her innocent.
What he did was wrong.
How she reacted was wrong.
Her inability to react and tell him NO is wrong.
The majority of the advice given her is wrong.

>You're not supposed to touch a girl until she explicitly tells you to stop, you're supposed to WAIT until she explicitly says GO AHEAD. That's what the whole 'rape culture' thing supposed to make people aware of, because this idea is somehow foreign.

It's foreign when women don't stop it.
It's foreign when she could stop him from repeating his actions and doesn't.
It's foreign when she eventually does report it the cops roll their eyes because it was days/weeks/whenever ago and they can't do anything about it anymore.

Like I said what he did was wrong. There's no excuse for what he did. None.
But I'm not going to molly coddle someone who can't defend themselves or even try, and that are so weak willed and gutless they need encouragement and advice from faceless people on the internet.

And now that I really give it serious thought, you're right, I am bullying her and y'know what, I won't stop. Maybe now she'll do the right thing and go to the police, or more likely she'll be frozen at her keyboard and unable to walk away.

>>18032529
>EMT

Wow you're a failure at even being a nurse. No wonder you sound like such an emasculated faggot. Does your wife have your balls? Bet you don't even have a wife.
I council at a hostel for women and young kids who are victims of domestic abuse. But hey again i could be lying. I don't think you are because who would actually admit to being a male emt.

>>18032570
Wow, one? One sexual assault survivor? Shit dude why did I get nationally certified to properly handle dozens of SA victims of I knew I could just talk to one and know everything I'd ever need to.

No shit she should go to the police. I never said she shouldn't. I'm not criticizing you because you're advice is wrong, I'm criticizing you because you're a fetid little cocksucker. Does your friend know that you've been rabidly dogmatic in your pursuit of making a victim feel worse for no reason other than to satiate your perilously fragile ego?

>>18032575
Lol, nurses don't know jack shit about prehospital care. Hell, there was a surgeon in my class there to get a better idea of what happens outside of a sterile environment.

Besides, it's a pre-req for pretty much any other service job besides the military, son.

>>18032570

Crawl back to r9k you emasculated little virgin.

>>18032115
Do you know that in Kentucky we recently found out that 3000 rape kits were backlogged? Any you wonder why women feel like the police won't do anything.

>>18032265
>Everyone who disagrees with me is a smelly roastie whore

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>>18032115
>And you wonder why so many of us "hate women"

I do wonder why so many men hate women, yes.
But I have no questions whatsoever on why women hate you :)

>>18032570
>She was abused so I'm going abuse her myself so she will wake up.
Hmmm I can see that going well...

To the guy that's being mad at op for "freezing", I'm a guy and got groped for like 10/15 minutes and when it's the first time something like that happens, your brain goes in "denial" mode, don't blame her for getting lost.

>>18032575
>insult EMT for saving lives in an emergency

As a pre-Med student who's worked in the ER, I hope a retarded gay ass woman's march blocks that ambulance trying to get you to a hospital because you ate too much McDonald's.

>>18031690
trick the "friend" into coming over to fug, then sedate him and remove his testicles. place disembodied testicles into a blender or juicer and make him drink them. cauterize the wound with a rusty railroad spike

>>18032739
>82 replies
>first good advice

Wow, thanks Obama.

>>18031778
This

>>18031778
whore is a bit harsh
but yes, cut ties with guy "friends".
if he's a straight male, and you have a bf, gotta cut ties. no excuses. only exception being family, and hell even distant cousins can get crazy, avoid problems best you can.

>>18032739
This.

>>18031690
Tell him to buy you stuff. If you kick his ass it would just be a mess. Unless you dont like stuff. Then do something I guess.

>yet another rape hoax

People get murdered over this.