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>Grow up homeschooled
>Have zero friends and severely stunted social skills
>Get shoved into high school at 15
>Bullied so much I develop a temporary selective muteness that increases the bullying
>Get pulled out after two semesters
>Develop multiple personalities at a young age and talk to myself often to try and close the gap in my social skills
>17 hits, develop daily suicidal thoughts
>Work at Wal-Mart overnight, mental conditions get worse, quit after 2 years
>Work at a hardware store for 4 years, suicidal thoughts get worse, put a gun to my head multiple times but don't follow through
>Get job at a chicken factory, worked there for over a year now
>Hourly thoughts of hopelessness and suicide
>Tell people I have a wife and kids but I've never even had a girlfriend
>Wall in my head separating the reality of my shit life from the fake life I've tricked my brain into thinking is actual reality starts to break down
>Having severe mood swings every time this happens and go into total mental breakdowns that include crying, punching myself and the feeling of physical paralyzation
>Can hear actual screaming in my head for me to wake up from the part of my brain that knows what's wrong
Does this sound like I have a decent case for disability or would I just be spending months to get fucked over?
I've never been to a psychiatrist because I can't afford one and quite frankly I don't trust them.
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>>18030591
Disability requires a diagnosis. That means going to the shrink.
There doesn't seem to be an easy way out anon. Maybe go to places like arcades or bowling alleys where there's campy people to be friends with.
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Don't kill yourself, anon.
But yes, do try and seek help.
I've had mental breakdowna before, usually in experiences I felt extreme shwme or guilt. Not a good feeling.
But yeah, nothing out of the scope of human understanding.
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>>18030640
shame or guilt* rather
sorry, phone
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>>18030622
Yeah, it says they'd send me to one for free, the big problem isn't that I distrust them, it's that I'm very broke.
Was wondering if anyone had gone through the disability process here.
>>18030640
Those don't sound good at all, sometimes I feel really guilty because all three of my siblings have families, great jobs, are successful and I'm just here drowning.
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>>18030687
>family is well off and you're the only one fumbling
Yeah, I feel ya anon.
Idk, if you feel like your problem can be pinned down by a specific diagnosis, there's probably some sort of medication that can help reduce it somewhat. The amount of stuff that people can use to adjust the psyche is pretty impressive nowadays.
As for therapy/counseling, it's very hit or miss. I've actually gone to 2 mental counselors before. One did jack shit and just kinda prodded around my mind. The other basically told me to start thinking analytically and actually showed me how to start thinking in a manner that helped me pull my shit together. Find one that works for you and if that person doesn't help, ditch them and find someone that will.
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>>18030687
>drowning
well, your situation is very particular, not everyone is raised under those circumstances. it's really nothing out of the ordinary, but it can change people a bit. it'll be alright though, just hang in there, tougher things have been overcome.
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