I have a strong desire to be romantic and be close to someone

>>18029964
drunk and high but see a beautiful balance in it:

If you're too shy and kind you tend to overthink things, thus when she breaks your heart you won't be ready for it. So as long as you let go of feels, you'll be able to handle the bad stuff better. If that makes sense

>>18029964

There's no else. Either you learn to stop wanting companionship, or you get companionship. Two options here.

>>18029985
It's not over a girl...and it's the cause of bad stuff, like the loneliness.

>>18029987
I want companionship but I'm insecure and awkward about it.

>>18029992

Tough luck. Sorry mate, but sometimes we have problems and we have to work on them. There's no easy answer for this.

>>18029996
I don't even know where to start though.

>>18030002

You know yourself better than any of us could. Pick a direction.

>>18029964
Pretty much anyone who's been where you are will tell you that to start with, you have to work on your insecurities. It's not easy and it's not fun, but it needs to be done. I'm willing to bet that at least in some way, your romantic desires are tied to your insecurities, as in you desire certain things because of your insecurities.

This never works because then you start trying to solve yourself through other people, and other people can't give you the kind of fulfillment you're really looking for. Acceptance and love from others will mean virtually nothing to you if you don't accept and love yourself. You won't be able to give that person the type of love you want to give because you'll feel so guilty about taking their love. You'll always have something scratching at you from the back of your mind, and because you're insecure about it you won't be able to effectively communicate what it is to your partner, and they'll grow to resent you for it.

You're not a lost cause, you're just lost. Do some soul searching and figure out what you want and why you want it. Then try to establish a strong support network of family/friends if you don't already have that. Maybe work with a therapist if you feel like you just need someone to talk to.

>>18030018
Would a therapist be able to help me work out those things? I'm not very close with my family and I have few friends you see.

>>18029964
I struggle with the same painful loneliness whenever I have the spare time to realize it. Keep yourself busy with work and when you can't you simply need to spend time with others. The best place to start would be to find a group of friends that you can regularly spend time with. Fulfilling the need of human contact will fill that void until such a time that you're able to find a romantic companion. Hope this helps Anon.

>>18030026
This is just my opinion but yeah I think therapy is good, even for people who aren't necessarily going through anything major. It's about as effective as you want it to be. If you hold yourself back and don't really try to get at what's bothering you then you won't get much out of it. You basically have to give the therapist the key to your mind and let them wander around whatever hallways they want to. When you look into yourself, you're seeing the "you" you are today along with the "you" from yesterday and the "you" you want to be tomorrow. When someone else looks into you, all they can see is the "you" you are now, and sometimes that helps them see things a bit clearer.