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I need emotional help, and I can only afford strange's advice

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Thread replies: 18
Thread images: 2

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<script src="//pastebin.com/embed_js/Tuj7PDXx"></script>

Please help me, I think a word would help me, I just need your advice regarding if I am completly wrong in thinking what I am, its too long to paste here, if not I would

http://pastebin.com/Tuj7PDXx

Thanks
>>
>>18029861
I originally wanted to write a love letter to someone I would love and never meet, but it eventually turned into a long essay into why I am screwed up, I just at least would like to find comfort in that maybe I am wrong, and I am acting stupid, or maybe I am right, and there is in fact, some hope
>>
in the third line there's a typo on the second broken
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>>18029867
broekn

Good catch, I have not spent much time proofreading, I guess its the Alternative spelling
>>
>>18029867
third broken sorry
also what's a joyious
>>
>>18029872
joyous

My bad
>>
>>18029870
>>18029874

no problem my dood reading rn, can proofread this for you if you repost it again too.

Ok so far what I've understood
is that you're afraid to love anyone because you think you'll hurt them and hurt yourself. Also if you want to live your life in a little corner why are you writing this? You're clearly not happy with your life and crying for help for someone to get you out of your small, closed comfort zone but you won't let anyone enter. You're just too used to getting berated because of your various traumas and you don't have the initiative to change that. I can vaguely relate in some parts, though I've never have had depression.

One thing I can say is that if you're willing to change your life for the best, you will. Try to get out your comfort zone one step at a time, I know its difficult but you'll eventually get there.

Sorry my advice is not the best, but I try!
>>
>>18029892
Thanks fo rthe kind words, you are helping, you really are.

I dont know, I just wanted to know if myabe, being in my little corner was what I really watned? I have no idea, on one end I love being alone, I adore being in my own little room, away from people, but I also get depressed very easily, I am affraid I will inconveneince others. I never want to cause any trouble, and asking anyone for help or stressing anyone out makes me shiver with fear. I dont want to bother you, is my point more or less.


For example, it makes me kinda sad kjnowing I inconveneinced you by having to read my depresing text, knowing I caused some trouble in anyones life.

I walked out of a 20 $ an hour job because I THOUGHT I was too anoying.

I thought I was too anoying, you ever heard of a more stupid reason to quit a good paying job when you are 19 and with barely any college? I still hit myself in the head with that, and I literally have no money. some days I just dont even know what is wrong with me.
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>>18029905
No problem at all, glad I do!

I think it's not what you want, if you wanted that you wouldn't be asking for help, wouldn't you? Also I think you're too sensible with people, they're tougher and more patient that you think.

For example I'm a kinda stereotypical upbeat annoying person, but believe me people can get used to your little quirks in no time. My friends have always stuck with me despite my big defects, and I'm sure people can love you despite yours too!

I just want you to know that you didn't inconvencience me in any way, after all, it's me who chose to reply to you. Im procastinating rn so I'm ok.

Maybe that was too extreme, and I think you know it. Ah- you're my age too! Never had a job so I can't relate, but I wouldnt quit a good paying one just because I thought I was annoying.

Also, remember to take your time, there's no haste in that matter, just go step by step!!
>>
>>18029926
I think you are vrey right.

Another thing that has affected my self esteem is that I have been gaining a LOT of weight, Ive easily put on 30 or 25 pounds since I lost my last job, and that has broght down my self esteem.

It almost makes me want to throw all my food away and just starve from scratch. Just let myself starve. Not die, just starve.
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>>18029943
I'm glad you think so.

Aw man, I really feel that one. I lost like 11 punds or so in the last 3 months just by eating a little bit less. You don't need to skip meals, that's specially bad for your health and metabolism. you just have to mind and eat until you're sated, not until you're full. If you keep that in mind you'll lose weight over time. Also try to skip unhealthy food and eat snacks inbetween meals, but I think that this is obvious. If you want to take a step more, try and do some easy exercises at home, start with the basics. Maybe try with yoga or easy aerobic exercises.
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>>18029950
yeah, it used to be great when I had my amphetamine salts. I would remeber to eat, and I could actually tell when I was actually hungry. I would tell myself "do I really want to eat? nah, I just ate an hour ago, that would not be veyr smart", now I ma a victim to my own bad behaviours. My responsability and I can controll it, its just a lot harder to pay attention to these tjhigns with adhd
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>>18029959
If that bothers you, keep a daily schedule or a journal to remind you what you have to do and when you did it. Maybe put an alarm so you dont forget to eat and write down when you ate. Try to start developing little helpful customs, that would help a ton in your situation.

Also about the meds, can't you get money from the gov if you have a diagnosed disorder? I'm not experienced so I'm just wondering.
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>>18029968
I actually get cheap insurance, through the affordable care act.

The problem is I literally have 0 dollars. i actually am -111 dollars in my bank account, and I have no cash on me, I still need to pay for my medicine, and the doctor will not prescribe to me my adderall without a drug test every month, so its incredibly inconvenient.
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>>18029984
That sucks man. Can't you get someone to financially help you when you're in a pinch? Consider your parents, won't they help you in a time of need? Do they know about your situation? Try to get a job asap if you can, don't worry about you being annoying, just worry about your wellbeing okay?
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>>180299984

-parents

Nope, I will never talk to them again, under no circumstances, I would rather starve (and at a point I kinda have) than go back to them.

I have been trying, ive been doing some temp work with a moving company every now and then, I have a project I got hired for next week, and I have an interview in about an hour, but i have been tyring to find a job for a while now
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>>18030005
Then you'll have to get out of this by yourself, and I think you're doing quite well. Nice job on your temp work, now go ace that interview man, and good luck with that project, tho Im sure you won't need it.

Just try and consider yourself not annoying from now on okay? You're not a bother and you're worth helping, keep that in mind.

Gotta go, getting late for me, you can do it!
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>>18030025
You brought a smile to me today. Thank you

I really needed that encouragement, your kind words are going to help me ace that interview.

Thanks, have a good night
Thread posts: 18
Thread images: 2


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