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In love but I can't have you.

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This is more of a rant... so don't mind the poor writing

I'm in love with someone who is married. I have no expectations nor do I feel entitled to any of his time/attention. I wish him and his wife happiness and I'm rooting for them to work thru their marriage. I have absolutely no ill feelings for them. They're separated right now and have been seeing a marriage counselor.

I just can't help my feelings. I miss you, I want you, but I can't have you. I know these feelings are reciprocated. This is far beyond infatuation. You know my strengths and weaknesses just as I know yours. And here we are loving the person more for them.

Never have I clicked so effortlessly with someone.The chemistry we share is intoxicating. We're both realists and know that if we lend ourselves to it we could find connections with other people. But it doesn't make this any more real and sincere.

When I'm around you I feel like I can do things I never thought I could do. You make me feel like being the best of myself. The world seems brighter with you around.

But you aren't mine to have and you never will be. I figure I just need time for these feelings to pass but I'm growing impatient and it hurts.

So /adv/ have you ever felt this way? If so, how did you get thru it?
how old are you?

In the same boat but it's a woman who's married and part of a failing marriage. She already reciprocates the feelings but what can you do?
From what I see, she's old enough to be in high school. No one with a job sounds like this.
Ya, pretty much. I'm early 30s
So have you distanced yourself?
I know this feeling all too well. Not a single day passes that I don't think about the one that I pushed away because of my insecurities and lack of self esteem.

As time passes, I often wonder what might have been. It's an exercise in futility, no matter how much I love and care for the man I truly believe is my soul mate, we just cannot find our level.

In another lifetime we would have gone far together, in this we came close to hating each other.

We've tried numerous times but it doesn't help that we're best friends. She's my only real friend and I'm the only one she can open up or vent to.

We only began having an affair after about 2-3 years of the husband refusing to cooperate in repairing the marriage. He won't see a counselor, won't listen to anything she says, is sucked entirely into his games and porn.

We haven't slept together but we do profess our feelings and acknowledge them. Sometimes it helps just to hear that the other person feels the same. Do not distance yourselves unless you BOTH feel it is necessary.

It's hypocritical of me to say but respect the boundaries placed. However, remain by his side as a close friend at the very least and maybe your chance to have what you want will arise. You have to be patient and respectful of them however.

If you didn't make it then, you wouldn't make it now. You just weren't compatible, regardless of how much you romanticise the past.

You sound like you're really hurting, anon.
I'll be honest with you anon, right now I'm a broken, pathetic shell. I put everything I had into him, and it was callously discarded. Things happened, time moves on. I still feel like jumping from something tall daily.

A problem shared is a problem halved anon. I'm interested in your story - care to share it?
First of all, do realize that what you're feeling is the textbook definition of infatuation.

I've been there - she seemed like everything a man could possibly want. Like literally every feeling you described, I also felt about her. I felt like I could've done anything with her at my side. I was willing to do anything to see her.

Things didn't work out, time passed by, and now I realize that she was a good person, for sure, but not the angelic saint that my hormones painted her to be.

You literally need to step away and get distance, then give it time. There is nothing you can do to immediately cancel out all of your feelings. In fact, you may think that you're fighting them by thinking about it and agonizing over it but in reality you're simply intoxicated by the emotions and passions. Even though it feels bad or painful, you get addicted to the sensations.
He only wanted someone else to fuck.
Do you really think someone that cheats on his wife is good for you?
you are crazy.
Long story short I have a host of mental health issues I've tried to manage through diet and exercise. I can't afford therapy nor medication. I guess I projected all my hopes and dreams when I should have just focused on my own needs and experiences. Now... I'm just about hanging together, and so incredibly ashamed that I don't recognise myself.
Go to him and open your heart. Be honest for once, maybe he feels the same. Maybe he'll take you back in the blink of an eye
Thread posts: 15
Thread images: 1

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