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The hell do I do

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Thread replies: 19
Thread images: 1

I need help with my oneitis, shes my friend also and its killing me. I want to cut contact and talk less to her and I did well for a while, she would say stuff i'd either say short things to end it or just kinda ignore it if it didn't need a response. I keep having to lie to myself and say don't talk to her she is talking to another guy or whatever. She messaged me a pic at like 1am of something, then I responsed at like 10pm and then she said something back, I said something then she just ignored it as read. I don't know why the fuck I never learn and just get stabbed like that over and over with her and feel like shit. How can I fix myself to get over this while still keeping her as a friend. I stopped hanging out with her and never text her first but once in a while I get baited into thinking she wants a convo then get ignored. She is in my friend group so this is kinda hard to get rid of her or these feelings and not let others know about it. It doesn't help that I am more lonely now because I can't hangout with her and my friends anymore so its not helping that much.
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>>18027636
Leave her alone??
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>>18027650
Huh? No I told you I don't message her its only her messaging me and then i respond thinking she wants a convo and get ignored.
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You cant be just friends with someone you love. Tell her how you feel. If it works out, great. If it doesnt, be prepared to move on. Maybe you can revisist the friend thing later in life after youve gotten over her.
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>>18027655
It used to be alot worse,I would talk with her all the time, I would hangout with her like 2-3 times a week at her house just us two. I changed alot recently if I look back on what we used to do.
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>>18027664
>I changed alot recently if I look back on what we used to do.
Details?
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>>18027664
Pull that bandaid off quick man. Dont drag it out. Tell her how you feel. Tell her thats why youve been avoiding her. Its better to have resolution to this problem, even if it dosent go your way, then to slowly wither away.
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>>18027667
So basically we would talk to each other everyday, like she would send stuff or tell me about her day and I vice versa. It was a kinda we both leaned on each other for emotional support and whatever. Even though I was the one asking her nearly all the time to hangout and her house just us two she would always say yes.

What I do now is not ask her to hangout anymore which I can tell doesn't mean jack shit to her at all which is fine, makes it better for me not to fold. And I decided to only respond to her texts and not try to start a convo. But once in a while I slip and when she sends something I try and start a convo and get shut down.

But I changed because of her and she matured me alot over time. She didn't force the change adn I didnt' change myself to try and get with her, I changed because she made me notice how cringey and shitty I used to be.
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>>18027673
I can't do that to her, I don't want to put her in that position that she has to turn me down. I rather be the one to suffer. I also don't want her to lose trust in people and think everyone wants to be her friend to try and fuck her. We actually talked about that before since most of our friends are guys.
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>>18027675
Well she sounds like a bitch and shes using you as some sort of support system. Tell her your not going to be her shoulder to cry on any longer.
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>>18027678
If your content to continue to prop this girl up and suffer for it, theres not much anyone can do to help you. You know whats wrong and you know what can be done about it. If you continue down the path your on nothing will change. Shes not likely to wake up one day and suddenly change. But every man has his breaking point. I think youll get tired of the friend zone soon enough.
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>>18027683
We both use each other as support, I come to her with issues and she comes to me with them. I understand the concept of emotional tampon but its not a one sided thing with us.

>>18027691
I dont want to lose her as a friend, she means alot to me and I love her not as an emotional kinda level, but like a person in my life I cherish. She means alot to me I can't just let that go. But I am slowing down everything and cutting nearly all contact.
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>>18027678
I have no good advice, just have to say that you and I are in the same position man. Your words are the exact same thoughts and reasoning I have so I get you senpai. Be strong, you ain't alone
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>>18027705
yeah I don't want to admit anything to her and then she has the thought that after all this time I was lying to her saying I loved hanging out and talking to her, and all the times I came over and we had dinner and watched tv played video games whatever. I don't want her to think oh this guy is an asshole who only wanted to get in my pants.
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>>18027701
You want more out of this relationship than she does. There is an imbalance in it. Its fatiguing you to have to hold up more on your end that she is. If she really is there to support you then why isnt she doing so with this problem? Talk to her about it. If its ment to be, she will work with you. If its not ment to be she'll let you know. But like I said, everyones got a breaking point and youll find yours if you keep doing nothing.
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>>18027714
I'm not going to her because this isn't something normal to talk about with her.
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>>18027725
Theres nothing more I can say. You either take a chance and talk to her about this, or keep doing what your doing and eventually you will break. Your already starting to crack by what youve said.

Shes either a good enough person and friend to handle you laying this on her, or shes not. And if shes not then shes not really a friend to you.
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>>18027701
Ugh, breaking my heart man. I'm going through a similar issue in my life except I'm the female.
He's constantly playing all of these sappy songs that relate so closely with our disposition, idk how it could be any more obvious on his part... I won't go through the many signs, but a look can say so much more than words.
Since he's dated one of my best friends and been in love with my other best friend, feeling like 3rd choice has made my brain push him so far away, regardless of how perfect we'd be together. And how I get butterflies and how it feels like all the oxygen gets sucked out of the room sometimes.
I haven't felt this way since I was a teenager, it's miserable but exciting.
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>>18027741
Your position is weird because it sounds like you like him, but yeah it sounds like your totally the final choice for him and wasn't the first or even second on the list. Fuck that idiot. But I feel really bad for women nowadays, you cant be nice to a guy without them thinking you want to fuck them. A girl can't laugh at jokes, cant hangout with a guy unless its sexual or based on a relationship status and that makes alot of girls lose chances at friendships.
Thread posts: 19
Thread images: 1


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