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So what do you guys look for in a friendship? How do you distinguish

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So what do you guys look for in a friendship? How do you distinguish between a good friend and a bad friend? What's the ideal friendship in your eyes?

I find myself looking for people who are fundamentally different from me in some way. It just seems a bit pointless and banal to strive to interact with humans external to yourself and then at the same time, want those humans to have similar interests, opinions, and worldviews. The way I see it, you would no worse off alone by that mindset. The only discernable reason I would ever want people in my life with similarities to myself is in the context of a professional project, where I want everyone to be on the same page in regards to the goal.

Does anyone agree or am I just an autistic anti-communitarian?
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>>18026492

I think you overthink something that doesn't exist.

relationships all tend to be pretty unique and while we can find similarities between them, what brings people together and what keeps them together tends to happen regardless of what you look for. above all else, chemistry is important, and sometimes its with people who are similar or people wh oare different.

also, most people are in a middle ground, how do you go about saying 'THIS GUYS TOO SIMILAR SO WERE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE' ?

realistically people just hang out with the people who make it into their lives. if they find that fulfilling they continue to hang out, and if they dont, they move on.

let your emotions guide your friendships. save for extreme cases of bringing out hte worst in each other, it doesn't really matter if they're similar or different.
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>>18026492
Just curious but are you a femanon by chance?
I know it's crappy but this reminds me of an EP of family guy/Cleveland show/American dad (they're all so similar I can't quite remember) where there's a sketch that shows women together then shows a bunch of dudes at the end it says/sings men, we know how to be friends.
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>>18026533
>I think you overthink something that doesn't exist.

Perhaps but I just think it's useful for some people to define what exactly they're looking for when one wants to make friends. The whole "trust your feeling" thing might work for extroverts, who by their very nature will have a lot of people around them and therefore, have a lot more room for error on this kind of stuff. But for introverts, it's not necessarily a bad thing to delineate the people you'd want to hang out with a priori since we tend to have fewer people in our lives, therefore making every person count that much more.

>also, most people are in a middle ground, how do you go about saying

I mean, my rationale isn't exactly that. Which is why I said, "in some way." I'm well aware that any 2 people cannot be completely similar or even completely different. But I often do try and find a difference within searching for friends rather than a similarity. This has helped me have more interesting conversations, moments, and friends.

Put it this way, friends do often have similarities and differences but what I find odd is not that fact in of itself but the fact that many people search for friends with the idea that these friends should have similar characteristics and ideals to them. I think this defeats the entire purpose of human interaction unless there's something external that you're trying to achieve, a common goal. The similarity between friends gains nothing for either side beside maybe a reinforcement of themselves. The differences between friends allows more interesting and engaged dialogue and allows a certain plurality which improves the self

This is not to say friends shouldn't have similarities. I understand some people need a reinforcing group(although I think such goals are one-dimensional but whatever) but I believe a lot of people are mistaken in their intentions for friendship and as a result, are either bored by stagnation or harmed by the interaction
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>>18027054
That being said, these are just my observations on what friendship is based on my experience. I don't intend for anything I say here to be authoritative or whatever, I'm just curious of other anon's experience with friendship.
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