breakup fucked me up

>>18025553

I am in a similar position.
> Girl friend of 4 years
>Emotionally cheats on me because she was unhappy
>Leaves me for the other guy
>We live together till March

Shit has sucked bad and this all happened a month ago. But here's some shit that helps me.

> Going to the gym and doing cardio/lifting weights
>Getting sun for vitamins
>Taking vitamina in general
>Eating healthy
>Working on studying coding so having someone to progress on
>Spending time with friends

Those are things that work for me. Also try not to dwell on it. You have to catch yourself when u do and remind urself it doesn't matter anymore and start thinking of something else.

I also recommend youtubing videos by Elliot Hulse. He gives really good perspective about break ups and heartbreak as well as personal devopment and his thoughts on it help me cope.

It's gonna be a while tho from my understanding so time will heal it. Just can't focus on it or dwell in it. I am not feeling perfect but definitely not crying like before but you will find someone better as I know I will too. Even if neither of us truely believe that.

So hang in there bro. You are not alone by any means.

>>18025751
>Spending time with friends

this is the problem. I can't find friends.

>>18025767

Well meet people at the gym or school. Or if you are into certain things see if people are meeting up locally. Or talk to ur co worker's.

Gonna have get yourself out there . Which in turn will help you meet someone new. Its gonna be hard to push past that comfort zone the better.

Hey man, you know why chicks always seem emotionally weaker than men, right?

I mean, part of it is probably biology but part is cultural. And here's the deal about the cultural part: in your place, a girl would immediately find a new patner, and then find comfort and relief through him and all that. Women follow the "you're only over someone when you're under someone else" line of thinking. And even if they don't go out after romance, just the knowledge that they will probably get something if they wanted to is enough to bring her psychological comfort. The emotional pit you are in right now is alien to most of them.

But you don't have that option, so you're like, adapting. You feel weak and you feel pain right now, but it will eventually go away on its own, and if you bear it until it does, then you're a changed man. Pain is weakness leaving your body, and you got a lot of weakness in you if a break-up is interrupting your entire shit.

Once it's out, nothing romance-related will ever hurt you emotionally as bad as this entire experience did. It's like surviving certain diseases, your immune system is working on it and building a psychological protection against future heartbreaks and misery.

If you cheat your way out of this, you'll interrupt this process. You could find a new girl right now and everything would be ok, but you'd have suffered for nothing. And worst, she would have power over you just like the previous one did, because you didn't do what it takes to have power over your OWN emotions. And you need to have that power, because otherwise your entire life will be a struggle against minor shit. You'll always be in the "slump" because people will always be throwing you in it.

So just fucking do what you always do until the pain is out. I know you'll underperform at times and not perform at all at others, but you have to keep trying.

>>18026093

Shit I am not the OP but that definitely speaks to my situation of >>18025751


Girls definitely fucking operate in that way. Shit sucks and that's what hurts the most is this other person matters more to her even tho she knew him for like two months.

This is a good way to look at it OP. Shits gonna suck but you will be stronger for it.
It will prolly happen again and again and again and again. Maybe one more time after that but will make that last one that much better because of what you went through.

>>18025553

What was the reason you broke up? I think that's probably important for whatever advice we can give.

>>18026171
>What was the reason you broke up?
oh, boy

>she went away on a trip for a few months (i know how it sounds)
>met a dude and hung out with him, alot
>comes back gives me the "i dont know how i feel" bullshit

after this, im pissed, and a little lost but im sort of sure nothing happened (physical at least) between them

i confer with some friends, they say since theres no proof nothing happened, you cant really do much.

a few days later my friend find pictures of them on instagram. not pictures that would be too incriminating, but these are pictures that you would take with a boyfriend and not some "friend"

holy shit i feel cucked just typing it.
anyway after that i broke it off immediately
sometimes i think i acted too soon but my /adv/ sense was going crazy