I have a medium-tier job that used to be very chill with little responsibilities. Then they made me project manager of something and it's been eating me up. The amount of work is bad but it's not impossible, the main issue is my own head. I can't deal with it. I am immensely stressed and then I procrastinate which makes it worse.
I feel myself slipping away and I've been crying in bed a lot, I'm often unable to sleep. I'm so stressed out that I skipped my period (not pregnant, I checked). I've lost weight.
My boss is currently in hospital and the soonest I could take a holiday is in three weeks (end of february) after a very important deadline that we are most likely not going to reach. I'm not sure I'll make it without ending up on sick leave.
This isn't USA so if I leave I have 3 months notice.
What other options do you see? I work with two other people under me but do you think it's wise to tell them that this is the way things are going with me and to shove work their way?
Meanwhile how do I stay afloat?
Can you talk to whoever you're doing the project for and explain the situation and that you're not going to meet the deadline?
>>18022389
They know, they told us to meet the deadline anyway. I said it wasn't possible and they stopped replying to that email.
Hey anon, I feel your pain. I'm doing my university honours this year, and that continuing sword hanging over your head is hard to deal with. For me it's always worrying about my grades, and messing it up.
Is the job absolutely essentual for you to have, or if you left it would you be okay financially for a while? I'm not an expert, but a lot of your symptoms sound like clinical depression.
>>18022395
Well you've done what you can, if it can't be done, it can't be done. You told them what's up, if they hold it against you, you have the emails to show your boss.
You've said it yourself the issue is in your head. So I doubt the actual work is as intimidating as you make it out to be.
Ask yourself if you enjoy what your doing, are you indifferent to it or do you straight up hate it? And if you sometimes hate it but other times it's fine or even great then ask yourself why that is? Are there coworkers that help even you out? Start spending more time with them when you feel overloaded. Find ways to take small breaks every hour or two.
When you are unable to sleep tell yourself it's okay to be like that. Stay awake and sleep when you get really tired. But make sure you cut out any late caffeine or computer screen time you might have.
>>18022419
Thanks anon this is really helpful. I feel neutral about the job, as long as it didn't get in the way of my hobbies I didn't mind it but now it does.
The key message I get is to stop being so hard on myself. I don't know if it is what you intended it to mean but it resonates.
Now how do you do that?
>>18022413
To replicate the question I ask to the other anon, how do you tell yourself that it's no longer your issue or problem? I still feel responsible. Especially since I procrastinate I blame myself for every hour I spent doing nothing.
>>18022409
I'm seeing a therapist but she doesn't do diagnoses (psychoanalysis thing). It works though, it already completely stabilized my relationship with my parents.
>>18022432
>Now how do you do that?
To be honest it sounds like you just need someone to talk to that you trust. I'd also encourage you to set some time off for yourself when you can just indulge in whatever you want. Even if it's as small as 30 minutes. Just time in which you don't HAVE to do anything you don't want to.
And as an anecdote I have this coworker that would always come to me saying she's tired and that she wants to go home. Every day. After a while I realized she just needed to vent, something to break the routine.
Because since then she's hurt her foot and been on medical leave for over a week. Last time I talked to her on the phone she told me she's bored and misses the people at work.
I've also experienced this for myself, I took a whole week off to relax and the 2nd day into it I I wished I could go back to work. Just the fact that I knew I didn't HAVE to work or be responsible for anything put my mind at ease.