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I'm an 18 year-old virgin and it's bothering me. I've

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I'm an 18 year-old virgin and it's bothering me.
I've never been in a relationship, I've got no confidence and self-esteem issues, girls scare me and I don't want to deal with them.

Should I just go to a hooker?
How do I even find one that won't give me a bad experience?
>>
>18
Come back when you're older. I don't mean that in a other-people-are-older-and-still-virgins-stop-complaining way, I mean that you're still a kid and you're still developing and maturing and that while you may feel like you're miles behind your peers, it's really not that unusual at your age.
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>>18022361
Most normal people lose it when they're 15-16. I'm literally the only person I know who hasn't already had sex. 18 is considered late now.
>you're still developing and maturing
Sure, but what does that have to do with anything?
>>
>>18022365
I promise you, there are plenty of people who haven't lose their virginities by 18, and won't lose it for a few years. Not to mention, teenagers are great at exaggerating and making shit up

>Sure, but what does that have to do with anything?
It means that you might not have developed as much as other people have and therefore aren't in the same place they are, and it's perfectly normal.
>>
32 m virgin los angeles

kik: zsasza

gl dude lol
>>
>>18022366
I don't even find that reassuring. I still feel like I've missed out.
>you might not have developed as much as other people
Possibly. What kind of "development" are you talking about specifically?
>>18022367
Fuck, how come you're a wizard? Have you never thought of just going to an escort or something?
>>
>>18022372
>I don't even find that reassuring. I still feel like I've missed out.
Well there's nothing you can do about it. You can either dwell on it, be unhappy and make yourself unappealing as a person, or you can accept what's happened has happened and move forward

>Possibly. What kind of "development" are you talking about specifically?
Mostly mentally. Puberty takes something like 7 years from start to finish so at 18 you're still going through it. You might feel mature enough, but you really aren't. And neither are your peers, for that matter.
>>
Lost mine at the age of 22. Had the Same issues like you but i figured out that i have to man up. If there is one thing girls dont like than it's self pitying.

I tried and got rejected which was hard but i kept going and eventually it came out well. There is really no other way.

Oh and getting a hooker will make IT worse.
>>
>>18022376
>Mostly mentally
You mean I'm anxious and lack confidence because I'm immature?
>>18022378
Did it come naturally to you or not at all?
I don't know how to interact with females. It doesn't help that I'm shit at smalltalk.
>getting a hooker will make IT worse
Why?
>>
>>18022379
>You mean I'm anxious and lack confidence because I'm immature?
Somewhat, but also because other people are ahead of you and you think that you should be at the same level they are because you're the same age.

Like I said, your situation is perfectly normal, both your mental state and your lack of relationship experience.
>>
>>18022380
I've always been socially awkward but that might be it. Thanks.
>>
>>18022356
Why are people so desperate to have sex ? What's the point, to tell people that you lost your virginity ? Woohoo, very impressive indeed.

Seriously, you're still young and you have a lot of time ahead of you. Don't be ashamed to be a virgin, I don't see anything shameful at all in that. And if anyone think otherwise, they're just retarded.
>>
>>18022356
Not yet. I'm almost 23. and still waiting.

>>18022365
>18 is considered late now.
I thought the same when I was 18. Now I'm older and know better. I know I'm definitely part of a minority though, being nearly 23 and being in the same situation; although, girls don't scare me.

Are you in college, OP? Going is the best advice I can offer you if you want to meet people. Also, as for finding one that won't give you a bad experience...

Here's the problem, you have no confidence. So they're all going to give you a bad experience, because they like that. You can be an introvert, shy as fuck, and still have confidence because you have some aspirations or at least own the demeanor you carry yourself with and aren't ashamed of it. I know being shy and being confident sound contradictory, but they're really not. If you think they're scary and that you don't want to deal with them, then I have to say that you aren't ready to have a girlfriend if at the same time, you don't want a bad experience. You have to deal with them. That's how you learn to not be scared of them, and thus how you don't have a bad experience with them. Talk of any kind is trial and error. Keep trying until you're not nervous anymore. You're going to fuck up and maybe stumble on your words or stutter, but like I said above, "own it". Don't let it stop you. If you get to that point of nervousness like I always have, try what I do and just say something lighthearted, "sorry, I'm awful at talking today", and continue where you left off. I'm a person who is nervous all day every day. It helps to be able to laugh a little or smile even when you mess up. It's gotten me reasonably far talking to people I never thought I would even if I'm still single.
>>
>>18022388
It feels pretty bad to be unable to do something that's supposed to be normal and natural, I guess.
>I don't see anything shameful at all in that
It's pretty much used as an insult
>>18022390
>Are you in college
No, I've dropped out and I'm in the process of enlisting right now. I hate bars/clubs too so I'm not sure where I'm supposed to meet people.
Thanks for your advice. You're right that I might not be ready, it's like I just stop functioning correctly when talking to a girl and I act like a sperg for no reason.
How come you're still single?
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>>18022405
I'm kind of scrawny. Always have been and always will be. I got bullied and never stood up for myself prior to highschool. The issue though was always more that I never stood up for myself or took care of myself. I was a greaseball and probably smelled like ass when I was in jr.high. When I got into highschool I got better but I was still really fucking awkward and kind of pathetic; I still had no confidence. When I talked to girls I was just pitiful. I look back on some of the things I said, and I cringe. Now though, after all this time I kind of came to the conclusion that I'm better than I was for having been through all of that and now I can actually talk to people. It took some practice after, still, but the big improvement I had was after I took a speech class in college. We did our speeches the second day of class and from that point on, every class we had. Our first one was an introduction; just a 2 minute speech about ourselves. When I was finished, one girl who was just cute as all hell sat down next to me in the lobby and we talked for like 30 minutes. She was genuinely interested in learning more about me. I regret never really pushing as much as I could have to get some way of keeping in touch with her because I know she was single. I haven't seen her since the end of that class.
>>
>>18022418
I see.
>When I was finished, one girl who was just cute as all hell sat down next to me in the lobby and we talked for like 30 minutes
Fuck, that kind of thing actually happens? Too bad you didn't keep contact.
>>
>>18022418
To add on this, also, that's another thing. Be interesting. I know that's a shit thing to say, but hear me out in that you can make anything interesting if you're somewhat passionate about it. When I made my introduction I was very open about my hobbies and even though collecting knives and being a gun-nut aren't necessarily the most attractive things in the world, I don't look or sound the part for being interested in either of those. I made the speech kind of sad when I talked about how I was bullied before at one point, but turned it right back around at the hobbies part by making it funny. I stuck with doing mostly funny speeches throughout the entirety of that class because it was something I learned I was good at when I got control of my nerves and could speak mostly properly, even though I was still nervous. And it worked. When I stood up in front of everyone in the room from that point on, they were smiling at me before I even started speaking. I was able to make everyone laugh during every speech I wanted to be funny. That's partially why I suggested college. If you take a class that requires you to learn to speak, you'll learn to speak.

>>18022424
Yes, it did. I still really regret it and it's been a while. It felt great though. I really wanted a shot with her.
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>>18022429
>Be interesting
How do you make yourself interesting without sounding obsessed about whatever hobby you're into?
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>>18022447
Learn to laugh at yourself.

>I like guns and I collect knives. Most people because of that think I'm kind of...scary, but the few people in this room who know me personally know I'm REALLY not.
...was something along the lines of what I said during that speech. Don't inject your hobbies and interests into your conversations if it's unneeded, but if you're interested in something, while staying casual about it, just don't be ashamed of it. When I go shopping, if there's a display of either, yes, I'll stop and take a look at what they have and maybe even buy something (unless it's a gun, I actually plan for that). Nobody cares if you don't shove it in their face. Just do your thing.
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