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Hey /adv/
Lurking for a while. Today is the day.
>be me
>dating gril since junior year of high school
>both introverted/depressed as fuck
>decide to date, steady with a few ripples
>always been there for her
>fast foward 2+ years
>College, long distance
>first semester seems fine, don't talk much
>introverted as fuck still, don't talk to anyone
>winter break, seems fine back together
>second semester starts
>depression kicks in full force
>lonely as fuck
>text/call gril for help with half ass responses
>major trust issues with everyone since childhood
>says she mentally/physically can't text/call give time for me b/c of school
>fast forward to last night
>home for weekend (her school is close)
>pick her up, she cries/wimpers in car
>partially ignore, keep in back of head
>go shopping/see movie/eat food
>long drive back to dorm
>talk about talking to each other, go through text/call bs
>destination. sit in parking lot of dorm
>>I don't want to hurt you anymore..
>I still love you more than anything. Do you still love me?
>>y-yes.
>okay. since you're overwhelmed.. let's just take a break.
>>alright. we can take one and see if we still want to be together at the end
>bawl at decision made for a good ten minutes after she leaves
Point is, this gril has sent me mixed signals since the start of the semester. I feel like I've done nothing but radiate kindness, shelter and become her feels body bag when she needs it. I've taken this shit all my life, but what can you do. I think.. she wants to end it, but either wants my approval, me to do it, or take another easy way out. I want to make this work, and I'm willing to try for it. Now, I could barely go through a few days without at least texting her. I have legit no friends, with the exceptions at some connections at work and online.
How the hell do I get through 2+ months? What can I do to occupy myself?
>>
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Bump it
>>
Move on. You acted too beta and she doesn't respect you. Be more alpha next time.
>>
>>18022156
>dating someone while you have mental issues
>dating someone who has mental issues
Both of those are massive red flags.
>>
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Fix mental shit first. Then you can have a relationship and use it to reward yourself for the progress you make.
Just improve yourself. I guarantee you that you aren't. If you were there is an extremely low chance you will have mental issues.
Once you inprove yourself and make yourself more valuable to other people you will find all the hard things in your life so much easier while receiving far more rewards. You get what you give and at the moment you aren't putting in shit because you are so sad. Make decisions every day to break the cycle.
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>>18022156
A very large part of your attraction to each other was the "you two against the world" bond. Now that you are separated and facing different worlds on your own (and maybe forming new friendship alliances to help you separately), the original relationship is beginning to weaken.
That doesn't mean that it's over, just that it is redefining itself, possibly even into a healthier form. But that redefining of something you both relied on is scary.
And that's where I think she is. She still loves you, but (consciously or unconsciously) senses that the nature of the bond between you is changing, and she's scared by that. You probably are as well.
It's going to change, whether you resist it or not, and the best thing for both of you is to ride it out until its new shape becomes clearer, and then decide whether the new shape meets your needs now as much as the old one did back then.
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>>18022156
Seeking a relationship in response to being depressed and lonely is like stealing a 55" tv because your eyes are shit.
What the fuck are you giving back for companionship? Do not cement a relationship in the first place if you can't be sure to improve the quality of life for your partner. You only have two months to figure out how to be a person who enriches the lives of others. You owe yourself that much...you MIGHT also owe her that much.
What I would do? Talk to the smartest person you know with their shit together and ask how to be more like them.
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