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I'm in a new relationship with this great guy, I really

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I'm in a new relationship with this great guy, I really like him a lot and we spend a lot of time together (whenever our schedules allow it).

It started out just as a tinder one-night-stand but we decided to stick together for a bit. Sex is still a large component but not the focus of it like it was before.

I went in feeling very confident and assured in my self-identity but now I'm feeling very insecure and unsure about myself. Waiting for him to text me back all the time and hanging by the sleeve of his shirt, so to speak. I'm usually very independent.

Why is this happening? I barely feel like myself anymore. Do I need to break it off so I can go back to normal?
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>develop a crush/possibly in love
>"ugh my ego ughh ugh mimimimimi my ego ughhh should i break it off"

Jump off a bridge you slag.
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>>18017668
This, and not only the greentext
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OP here, some more backstory:

Let's not mistake this for me not being serious about this. I already asked to become his girlfriend and he said it was too early for him. We've been 'together' for about a month.
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>>18017638
When you give a guy sex on the first meeting, there's no reason for him to respect you as serious relationship material

This is obvious by the way you're acting, you're trying desperately to get him to value you, and he holds all the cards

Get therapy for your low self esteem so you stop doing this to yourself
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>>18017690
0/10
troll harder
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>>18017638
Insecurity lies in all of us, and sometimes it takes pressure to bring it out. You feel confident in situations where not very much is at stake for you with other people - cue important person entering your life and suddently you're not as confident anymore.

Consider yourself and your confidence challenged by this new situation, and approach it like you would if this had occured to you with a group of friends or something. I'd think that you'd have taken steps to check on the thought processes underlying why you didn't feel confident and challenged them. So look within yourself to see if you can find an explaination to why you feel like you do and see if you find the thought patterns rational.

this doesn't apply if he's manipulating you into feeling shitty about yourself, then you should move on immediately, don't try to fix him or confront him about it
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>>18017744
Thanks anon.. Called my Dad and talked to him about this too. He completely agrees with. The guy I'm seeing isn't manipulating me in any way, he really is great.

I think I am using this person for affirmation.. When he doesn't text back and I don't get that affirmation immediately, I feel less confident. I am constantly checking my phone to see if he has responded yet or has sent me anything and when I see he hasn't, I feel very down about it. It's not rational. He's spoken very highly about me to his family and friends and also says nice things to me when we are together. Obviously he thinks well of me. My attitude about it is the problem.
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>>18017803
yeah, I figured. I suppose most people work like that, I'm sure I do.

My 2 cents is that we need to get better at telling ourselves that we're good enough instead of relying on other people to do so. It'll take time to learn to believe it but I'm confident that it's possible
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>>18017813
;__;
I believe in us, anon.

But the big question is: what am I doing right now? Is it healthy to stay in the relationship while I'm going through this weird phase? Is it fair to him?
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>>18017835
If this is something you feel that you need to fix then he has experienced what you are NOW before you fix it. So you don't really have any news to reveal to him, he knows that you are like this because that's the way that you've been while you've been seeing each other. I wouldn't say that you need to tell him anything, but if that would make you feel better then go ahead. Following that, work on yourself and enjoy him like you'd enjoy any other fruit that life has given to you
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That just called falling in love my friend
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>>18017638
What state do you live in to find a piece of shit like that
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>>18017803
>hi dad, i hooked up with this guy and now he won't get serious with me

Jesus I feel terrible for your father
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>>18018135
lol

"love"
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>>18018135
>>18018182
person 1 (>>18018135) actually didn't say that this is what love is, just that this is what falling in love is

i'd say it's insecurities triggered by strong feelings of affection
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Sex confuses thing in a relationship, spwcially when it happens on the first date. Some people release certain hormones when they have sex, causimg to feel "in love". Specially when its some good sex
Thread posts: 17
Thread images: 3


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