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Gf wants to hang everyday.

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Hello guys. My gf wants to hang out everyday. Sometimes, I do not want that. I proposed this system where we see each other every second day. However, she wants to hang out Saturdays and Sundays, but not a couple of hours but all day long.

What can I do? Sometimes I need my space but she thinks I am wasting my "free time" with gayming and other shit, instead of hanging out with her going to the mall, walking on parks and other shit.
>>
Women like it when you occasionally turn them down OP.

You're allowed to say no to her OP.

No one's gonna arrest you if you do OP.

Stop acting like a little bitch OP.
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>>18017433

congrats OP she is addicted to your presence.

Treat her like a junkie that needs to tone down her drug.
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>>18017433

unfortunately you can only do one of two things

>stand your ground
>give in

never be angry or mad about standing your ground, just be sympathetic to her feelings but give her a dose of logic that life still exists outside of each other.

she might break up wtih you. if not now, than down the line, cuz a lot of girls assume this will cahnge. people these days believe that a relationship is supposed to race towards spending every possible moment together.

or you can just give in.
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>>18017473
I think you are correct. She has an addiction with me.
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>>18017483
I am standing my ground. I applied logic but...
>Logic on women
I explained to her that there are other stuff outside our relationship, and that doesnt mean I dont love her anymore.
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>>18017498

okay, but how did she react? if shes not going to break upwith you than congrats, you win.
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>>18017506
The first time she got mad and cried. I gave in. Then, she told me she wanted more days, instead of 4 days a week, all weekend and 2 or 3 of the rest of the week. I told her I need at least a weekend for my personal stuff. She did get mad again, not so much.
Then I proposed her to hang out with here every second day. However, now she wants every second day and full weekend.
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>>18017520
Also, if I am "free" in my days off, she wants to hang out with me.
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>>18017433

Two adults in a relationship should be able to come up with a solution. You have the right to having your space. If she doesn't respect you, then think about leaving her OR give to her every demand. Your choice.
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>>18017520

again, stand your ground

>BUT I DID THEN I CAVED

thats not standing your ground. thats caving in. the complete opposite of standing your ground.

i repeat, you can either stand your ground, or give in. you have the power here unless you are afraid of losing her. in which case, too bad, you have to give in to whatever she says. but if you're willing to risk losing her in order to have any fucking alone time, then yeah, stand your ground.

what USUALLY happens is they cry and mope and you be sympathetic but STAND YOUR GROUND. then after a few days they get over it.

but if you just cave in you're not helping iether of you.

again, either stand your ground, or give in. only two options.
>>
>>18017520
>>18017532

all this being said, it sounds like a nightmare and only going to get worse. even if she gives in for now, she is going to expect more of your time later, and the fact that she cries over this shit shows shes not really mature enough for anything outside of puppy love.
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>>18017536
She had a terrible childhood and I am her first boyfriend. We are in the mid 20s. She is my second girlfriend. I know that I gave in thr first time. However when she told me to see me all weekend I told her that I will not do that because I want my free time.
She told me that why should I have my alone time, that she feels like a job or task and by resting in my days off, it means that she is a burden.
Also, I think she is comparing with some friends of her that hang out every fucking day.
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>>18017520

Is this real? Dude, she has to have no life or serious trust issues. Why the fuck are you still trying to make this beast stay with you?
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>>18017467
>You're allowed to say no to her OP.
>>18017473
>Treat her like a junkie that needs to tone down her drug.


Set boundaries, OP. Let her know how important it is for you to be by yourself and recharge. You can even twist it to be flattering-
When you're with her, you're always excited and focused on her, that it's hard for you to remember yourself. That you absolutely need time to yourself so that you can take care of yourself, and focus on yourself. That when you're with her, all you want to do is focus on her.

Also see what else this sounds like? It sounds like her. You can be the role model of what personal time looks like. I can relate, because I'm a bit like your girlfriend. I make a point of making time for myself, because I can lose myself in my boyfriend. I just want to stare at him and be close. When we're apart, it honestly does feel like withdrawal. But I don't take those feelings and put the responsibility on him to make them go away. I have to learn how to be my own best friend, to love myself above all. So I always make time for my own self care.
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>>18017556

so? does any of that detract from what i fucking said? wait it out. but again, sounds like this relationship is already in its final hours.
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>>18017557
She has friends and wants me to join them in their adventures (boring shit actually) I told her that she cant force me to her circle of friends. Also, I tols her if she wants to hang out with them, then hang out with them, no problem with that.
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>>18017556
You seem like you have autism or something because this is how relationship are. My partner and I want to be around each other constantly not away.
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>>18017566

Having friends is not the same as having a life. Maybe she is just as bored of them as you are, but she'd rather have that than nothing. Or maybe she lacks the empathy to understand they bore you. Either way, why aren't you asking for ways to dump her?
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>>18017567

>My partner and I want to be around each other constantly not away.

Can you, though? Do you actually spend every day together? Do you have hobbies and shit that the other person doesn't like? Do you hang out with friends without your SO?
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>>18017573
Because I enjoy spending time with her. But, also I enjoy spending time by myself
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>>18017567

>you seem to have autism because people should want to be around each other constantly

go fuck yourself, seriously go fuck yourself. jesus. why would you invest so much time in the most fragile of human relationships
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>>18017567
I may have some kind of autism. I havent tested my self yet. I dont want to be like those ways that self diagnose assburguers only to excuse their social awkardness and assholism. I did test my personality and I am a INTP
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>>18017583
*like those guys, not ways
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>>18017578
>>18017579

>why would you invest so much time in the most fragile of human relationships

I was with you OP, until you said that. What the fuck? If you keep your girl at arms lenght because it's "the most fragile of human relationships" then I get why she wants to see you all the time. She must be sure you are cheating on her or gonna move on really soon.
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>>18017590

that wasnt OP, that was me, regardless, the point still stands, you dont need to be spending every waking moment with your romantic partner (or anyone really)(
>>
>>18017593

Yeah, I saw another post later that sounded more like OP. Shit happens. Sorry OP!
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>>18017578

I get that you like being with her. But if you are gonna be having a fight that ends with crying just because you want some alone time, then what's the point?
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>>18017590
578 was me (OP). The other one isnt
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>>18017604

Yeah, sorry! >>18017597
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>>18017609
No problem.
Today is my hang out day with her. I will talk about my alone time. She may cry and get mad, but I will stand my ground. I know she loves me and got attached to me, but that doesnt mean that I should expend all my time with her. I havent seen my friends since november, and that was because I was on vacation on my home city. I also have some friends here in this town that I havent seen since september I think. I screwed up pretty badly.
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>>18017583
I am thoroughly obsessed with my relationship, and even then I know it's unhealthy to spend every waking moment together. I am thankful that I get to go to work and go out on my own and rebuild who I am when I'm away from my relationship.
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>>18017583
Just so you know those personality tests have been debunked by scientists and mean nothing. But her wanting to spend time is normal and the way you type comes off as if you are autistic.
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>>18017433
You shouldn't have to have a visitation schedule. Why would you want to be with someone you have to plan all of your social interactions with? You're supposed to want to spend time with her, not feel like it is a chore.

She feels neglected.

You feel burdened.

You each want vastly different things and this "compromise" is just sowing the seeds of dissent. You need to break up. A relationship shouldn't require this much work on the base level. This is one of those things that should work out naturally or with a quick talk. You're past that point and it still is the working. it will never work. Don't settle just because our don't want to be alone. Find the right one.
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>>18017622
Then again, I may have some spectrum of autism. I know I am not a normie and see some stuff different. Maybe I should get tested and try to get therapy or something.
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>>18017622
Pretty much this.

>oh no my gf likes being around me
>so autistic I set up a visitation schedule cus I can't handle it
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>>18017644
I know scheduling days for hanging out isnt the best way. She also told me she felt like a chore.

Sometimes I want to spend a lot of days with her, and other times I want my alone time. There are times that I want to spend 3 days in a row with her and other times I want my full workweek for me and maybe the weekend for her.
>>
>>18017644
>>18017622
>>18017635
Have you guys ever heard of introverts?
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>>18017664
Who doesn't schedule stuff? Isn't that a normal adult thing? I have my time with my SO scheduled at least a week in advance, if not more. It's usually the same for my friends too.
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You don't sound like you're quite as into the relationship as her. Your gf is expressing a desire to be closer to you and you're trying to get away from her. Why are you even with her if you're doing this? You don't even enjoy spending time with her.

You're with her out of convenience, tricking her into believing you feel the same way about her while you spend time at home jerking off to porn and playing games rather than existing in the real world. But it's too easy to keep this going because you want the benefits of singleness along with the sex and affection from a relationship. This girl isn't your gf, she's your fuck buddy.

Be honest with her before she ends up turning to someone who treats her as a human rather than an overexcited dog.
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>>18017724
I am not saying I dont want spend time with her. What I am saying is that there are times I need my alone time. I believe having some alone time is healthy for everybody. You need to love yourself also. Enjoy your own company.
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Pretty much same boat as you OP, except I stood my ground. The way I explained it is like this: if she likes me for who I am, then she liked the man I had made myself into before she met me. If she doesn't let me have time to myself - for my own hobbies and pursuits, then I lose those parts of myself and my identity just becomes her boyfriend. You become a shell of your former self. Just because you want to spend time doing other things does not imply that you don't want to spend time with her. Every person needs their own time, she needs to know how to enjoy solitude too. In the end we are all really alone - we walk the path from our birth to our death alone, with a few companions along the way. She must come to terms with who she is, independent of you.

Alternatively, you can offer to include her on some of your hobbies just so she can see what she is missing out on. The first few times my gf hung out with me when I was reading or lifting she stuck around but now when she knows I want to do those solo things she finds something else to do too, just as I find something to do when she's out with her friends or getting her nails done or something. Just communicate clearly with her.
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>>18017830
Still, if you like someone and enjoy their company you want to be around them a lot. Clearly there's a difference between your feelings and hers and it's causing her to pull you uncomfortably close because she senses it. I encourage you to be honest with yourself about how you really feel.
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>>18017669
I'm extremely introverted. After dating for so long it's abnormal for an introvert to not see their partner as a safety net. So again. Op is doing this backwards.
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>>18017724
t. dumb bitch

There are times when we all need to be left alone. Clearly OP needs more time than his gf. If you don't understand that, blow your fucking brains out.
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>>18017834
Just yesterday, 10 minutes before leaving, I showed goat simulator on android and my blog. She got extremely pissed because she wanted to expend those last 10 minutes cuddling. However she didnt tell me she wanted to do that. I already told her I am not a genie and know all her thoughts.

Before that, we were watching "A monster call" and we were cuddling all the entire movie.
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>>18017898
You seem angry like I touched a nerve.

Sorry that you can't make meaningful connections in the real world senpai.
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>>18017948
Yes, irrational cunts make me mad af.

If the guy already spends 2/3rds of his time with his gf, how much more can he possible give? Is it wrong to want even a day of freedom?
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>>18017433
If you couldn't live with her then the relationship is not meaningful and she is your fuck buddy not girlfriend. /Thread
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>>18018062

>You should be happy to never have time alone

Idiot detected
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>>18017675

with couples it tends to be less planned. after you get past the basics you tend to just spend any time you're not 'busy' with each other, which often includes all your down time.

its brutal
>>
do what she wants or dump her
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>>18018062
Dude dont talk about shit you dont know.

>>18017433

OP, you need your time, if you dont and start spending all your free time with her that will back fire sooner or later in the relationship.
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>>18017433
Compromise. If neither of you are willing then you guys are too selfish for another person.
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>>18017433
but u kinda are wasting your life playing video games alone. at least play in person with another friend. you barely remembdr it happened if u play alone.
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>>18017520
she probably has nothing to do at home or comes from an abusive family. i used to be like that with my first boyfriend, people thought it was weird.
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>>18017567
because some people just want sex in relationships. i thought women knew this by now.
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>>18018771
Women have smaller heads, therefor, smaller brains.
Thread posts: 58
Thread images: 1


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