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Is it normal to not want anything to do with my ex, even having

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Is it normal to not want anything to do with my ex, even having mutual friends bothers me, I'm willing without conflict to end relationships if they feel the need to keep in contact with my ex. I feel petty for feeling like this but I just don't want a possibility for either me or my ex to have any insight into each others lives, and with mutual friends who keep tabs on both of us its extremely easy to do so.

My situation is that my ex has approached one of my friends (a girl) and they have started talking, possibly "catching up" for coffee in the future, they were only ever friends through association when I was together with my ex and they haven't spoken the entire time we've been broken up so its extremely strange for me to find out they are speaking all of a sudden.
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You're normal. The idea of anyone liking my ex after the breakup bothered me because he's an abusive tweaker who molested his sisters. I sent everyone warning messages. You could explain to your mutuals that you don't want him knowing anything...
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>>18014573

Well this person in particular did approach me and said something along the lines of "you don't mind if I speak to your ex do you?" saying that my ex messaged her to see how she was. I said I didn't mind as long as they kept me out of the conversation completely. When I told her this I thought the messaging would be a one time thing but it seems like they might continue talking and actually meet in person which makes me uncomfortable.

I don't trust my friend to catch up with my ex over coffee and have the subject of me not come up at all as I was their only tie to each other. So easiest thing for me to do is distance myself from this friend if she proceeds to go down this road. No hard feelings to her its just not what I want.

I don't want it to be a "me or her" situation, I don't want to appear petty, its just how I feel.
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>>18014582
You're not petty.
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>>18014556
One of the many differences between men and women is that women honestly and innocently believe they can break up with you and remain friends, while men find any reminder of her existence painful.

But your response is perfectly normal - but that doesn't make it wise. In a way it is like a divorced couple with children - unless you want to divide all your friends and have total custody of some and no visitation with the others, you have to find a way to let your friends have contact with her without being "disloyal" to you.
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>>18014739

I completely understand, that makes a lot of sense. I felt our break up was very smooth in that our friend groups didn't overlap at all. This is all happening 4 months after the break up, and just with one of my friends, that's why it has bothered me. This isn't a mutual friend of ours, it was a friend my ex would see only in group hangouts that I would bring her to, I would have been more than happy if they were their own friends while I was together with my ex but they never were. My ex isn't a malicious person by any means but I truly do not understand her thought process in trying to befriend someone she knows I see very often and is part of my social circle... it makes no sense to me.
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