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This is going to sound really fucking obnoxious but here goes

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This is going to sound really fucking obnoxious but here goes anyway:

Everything just seems to work out for me and it's killing me. I've spent my entire life putting off responsibility and coasting on intelligence and superficial charm and even when things finally catch up to me there are never any consequences.

Shit, the first time it even happened I was already 21; my grades got repeatedly fucked by 5-absence auto-F rules (I literally never went to any class unless there was a test to take) and I got kicked out of school.

I was immediately given a (shit, data entry) job with my best friend's father and within a week I had gotten in good with the head accountant and been assigned a subset of his duties to lighten his workload. Within 6 months I had enough for a down payment on a condo.

I then (again, no degree, kicked out of school) got a job with an AI startup and became one of maybe 5 people in the world capable of building applications for its framework which led to an extremely cushy software dev job (which I still constantly risk by doing literally nothing all day until a project is coming up and I scramble and half-ass it)

I have never heard anything but praise regarding my work despite always half-assing things and procrastinating like a fiend

I don't feel like I deserve anything I have and I feel like a fraud whose world will come crashing down any minute - yet it never does.

How do I not feel like such a piece of shit; preferably without actually changing to not be a piece of shit
>>
>>18012737
Actually put effort into your work, then you won't feel like shit when you are praised because it will be well deserved.

If you can't do this, then you deserve to feel like a fraud.
>>
>>18012737
Use your position to help others, family.
>>
>>18012737
there is no such thing as justice, so there is no point in feeling one way or another about your luck
alternatively, you can trade your guilt for the knowledge that when something terrible inevitably does happen to you, you will be supremely unprepared to deal with it, having never experienced hardship
alternatively, just donate your undeserved salary to /r9k/ NEETs
>>
>>18012912
It's something of a cop-out, but I genuinely feel I can't. I've spent the last 24 years of my life seeing the hours of 9-5 as useless wasted time that I should do anything in my power to get through without tedium. The only way I can work is if there's real deadline pressure, I'm sleep deprived, and half my blood is caffeine.

>alternatively, you can trade your guilt for the knowledge that when something terrible inevitably does happen to you, you will be supremely unprepared to deal with it, having never experienced hardship
This is always a fear, but not one I think has any real grounds. I've got enough in savings to maintain my lifestyle without a job for at least 6 months and even if I got blacklisted in the industry I could still very very easily get a job with family contacts or as support in any big box store or office.

Man, I miss when weed would kill my anxiety instead of just making things more fun.
>>
Are you honestly begging for failure? Pathetic. Grass is always greener eh? Don't worry man, your time to suck will come. The higher you climb, the harder you'll fall
>>
>>18014552
I'm not begging for failure, that would be idiotic.

I suppose I just can't come to grips with the utter lack of justice in life; by my own standards I SHOULD fail and it would be right and just that I fail but I continue to succeed.

I shouldn't get to coast through life because I'm smart and can fake a smile
>>
>>18014561
Yea the world is fucked
If you really felt bad about it you would do SOMETHING not just sit on 4chan blogging so this isn't an issue
>>
>>18014701
>implying I haven't actually thought about it
I came to the conclusion that anything I could do would be far too little far too late; the major issues of our time were decided by my parent's generation.
>>
>>18014707
You're smarter than this post. Lazy as hell but smarter. Really take a look at the world, the times, your skills and think bigger. We're living in just as an important time as your parents, to say otherwise is ignorant. There's always more you can do and things waiting for people to change them. I really think you just don't care enough and that's fine, just don't complain about it.
>>
>>18014723
Well - people are ridiculously vulnerable to marketing/propaganda these days. I suppose that's something that could realistically be tackled.

You're not wrong that I'm lazy as shit though
>>
I'm in the same boat but I doubt you're as smart as you think. Maybe you're just lucky. I just put the exact amount of effort required all the time but I didn't get kicked out of college.

What I do sometimes is think of less fortunate people who might be poor or having a hard time. It's easy to take a lot of things in life for granted, anon.
>>
>>18014943
One of the problems is that I am that smart. My IQ tests between 138 and 146.
>>
Just be glad you're not in an identical situation with a lower level of success.

t. Posting from my phone while pacing around a warehouse with nothing to do and still getting good paid for it, as per usual

>incur $30,000 of debt in a completely random emergency that could not be avoided
>four months later it's like it never fucking happened
>total my car
>week later I have a new car and $4,000 more in the bank than I had the week before
How the fuck do I keep doing this
>>
>>18014967
*tips fedora*
Thread posts: 15
Thread images: 1


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