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Can you accidentally gaslight someone? what is gaslighting?

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Can you accidentally gaslight someone?

what is gaslighting?
>Gaslightingis a form ofmanipulationthat seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or members of a group, hoping to make targets question their own memory, perception, and sanity. Using persistentdenial, misdirection, contradiction, andlying, it attempts todestabilizethe target and delegitimize the target's belief

my ex gf said i was gaslighting but i dont think ive ever TRIED to do that to her. like ive never thought 'hey if i make her think shes crazy shell stay with me' but the things she is describing to me make me think i did do that to her.

additionally i cant seem to remember specific details about situations relating to our failing relationships. ive tried apologizing but it seems every time i do something that invalidates my apology.
>>
>>18012093
Technically yes, but also maybe SHE is trying to gaslight YOU.
Either way it sounds like it's good you broke up.
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>>18012093
Sounds more like she's just generally anxious and is now trying to make you responsible for her insecurities.
>>
Yeah... or well, you don't have to consciously plan to make her think she's crazy. In fact, I don't think most people who gaslight someone do. It's more often that they think little of that person and undermine their opinions, viewpoints and experiences in many ways. Like habitually saying "I can't imagine it was that bad", "I think you remember it wrong", "you tend to exaggerate", "I don't recall any of that". If you keep that up it's gaslighting because you'll eventually make them feel like they can't judge their own judgment or mind, but in itself it can just be a sign of how much you look down on them, rather than having a set out strategy with the goal to make them not trust themselves.

Let go of the motive for a bit. Did you ever act in a way that at surface level invalidates her experiences etc?
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>>18012101
>"I can't imagine it was that bad", "I think you remember it wrong", "you tend to exaggerate", "I don't recall any of that".
this sounds like stuff ive said to her.

i think y may have been invalitating her because everytime i told her that she hurt me she downplayed what she did as if it were okay and emphasized what i did to her. especially when we did similar things to eachother.
>>
also what can i do to get in the habit of not doing it?
Thread posts: 6
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