ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

Welp, this thread is dying fast so I suppose even though this is basically the same question the OP asks not ask,

What are the possible channels of meeting people to form a relationship, whether that relationship be friendly, romantic, or sexual?
I don't really care at this point, I just don't want to be alone.
I've tried:
>Class mates
>Friends of friends
>Online
>Bar hopping
>academic clubs
None of them ever seem to be interested in more than talking for a single night. What do?

>>18010412
Girls: Would you be turned off by a guy if he doesn't drink? I grew up with two alcoholic parents and have no interest in repeating that mistake.

This already hurts me just with my friendships as they frequently want to go to bars/parties but it really isn't fun to be the one sober guy among a large group of people.

>>18010563
At the age I'm at, it might be a little hard, but I wouldn't call it a turn off either.
I just do rely on alcohol to take the edge off in the first meeting of someone. Bad habit probably, and I'm not talking getting drunk or anything, but the booze does help me feel more natural and less like I'm spewing spaghetti everywhere.

I would say so long as he's cool with me drinking I wouldn't mind, but you sound kind of like you don't want to be around drinkers sober either.
Like I for example usually use a bar as a place for a first meeting at least. Since it'll be public, usually will have quite a few people in there, and in my experience, as a woman, bartenders/bouncers are wonderful people to have around if your date goes south.
But there's also other places with the same kind of security I suppose. That's just my preference on a first meeting ground.

>>18010563

It's perfectly fine. I'd respect a man with principles and drinking doesn't have a place in a relationship anyway, unlike it might in friendship. There's plenty of other things to do, drinking is just a socializing and group thing. However, I'd expect him still to be alright with it if I go out with my friends to bars and such.

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Is Rami Malek hot?

>>18010774
Yes. Old Egyptian Blood, super beautiful.

>>18010563
No, I'm not a big drinker myself. I can appreciate a good wine with dinner, but I hate binging. Hell, I'd probably like it.

>>18010776
But he's got those bulging frog eyes.

>>18010774
Yep, pretty hot. Bronzed demi god look.

Girls: Is it too much when a guy makes his first approach and he says he finds you attractive and wants to get to know you? Is it much better to ask you out for a coffee and let any sense of attraction be implicit?

>>18010810
I prefer it to be implicit. I mean, if you're asking me out without talking to me, I know you find me attractive-what other reason is there?

If you're a girl and you lived in a semi-rural foresty area where would you hang out to meet someone looking for a relationship?

Coffee shops and the like come to mind but there's just not much out here. Lots of older country folk.

>>18010774
Eh, hes alright. I'm not much for the super defined jawlines and such though.
>>18010810
Just ask her out for coffee. Idk personally I find dudes rely on compliments to fill space in conversation, and it kind of takes the meaning out of it.
In this case, its kind of like you're buttering her up so she will get coffee with you. You don't need that. She'll either want to get coffee with you or not.

>>18010823
That's true.

In my particular circumstance, I have the worst crush on my yoga teacher and am going to ask her out soon. Even though I only know her on a superficial level I've never had someone dominate my thoughts like that before.
Makes it a little hard to play it cool in my approach.

Bonus Question: Do you think Valentines Day is bad time to make some kind of a play? Too much romantic pressure too soon?

Guys, what makes you finally decide to break up with a girl?

>>18010852
Yes, Valentines is literally the worst.

I got asked out then, once. I wasn't interested, he was a bit intense and creepy (it was highschool) and he implied that he would in advance of the day.

It made me feel really pressured and uncomfortable when I turned him down. Do it on a regular day.

>>18010853
If a girl cheated on me I'd break up.

Pretty much everything else is situational I'd have to hear specifics.

>>18010868
To add: I now hate Valentines day. He was very unpleasant and I was scared stiff of him.

That being said I never set too much store by it.
I'm not one to celebrate anniversaries and stuff. I feel like relationships don't need grand gestures and expensive gifts to be 'true'. The love should be apparent in the everyday.

>>18010847
This is good advice.

>>18010853
The realization that i wouldn't be happy with you if someone 'better' came along? I don't know. But then, i don't know what makes me decide anything.

>>18010868
Better get moving then. If I act fast then maybe there's a good Valentines to be had a couple of dates down the line.


>>18010847
> Just ask her out for coffee

That's kinda been the game plan for a while. Just been trying to get to know her a bit better after classes first. She's so attentive and smiley when I talk to her but it's hard to get a read on that because she's like that with everyone as far as I see.

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GIRLS: Do you know why there are so few women using dating sites compared to men?

As someone who has barely interacted with women in his life, I try to see women as essentially the same as men.
However, when I see the obvious divide in the number of men and women who try to find romance online, it's hard to do that completely.

Is it that women are more cautious of online dating?
Are women less desperate?
Do women just care less about finding love?

>>18010900
>Do you know why there are so few women using dating sites compared to men?
Because it's not fun. It's a chore most of the time, and most people want hookups.
>Is it that women are more cautious of online dating?
Yes. I've tried it, and 99/100 messages you get are just asking for nudes. It's disheartening.
>Are women less desperate?
I can't speak for all women, but I prefer talking face to face. I'm not sure I can find someone that fits what I want in a partner from the kind of men who go on online dating sites.
>Do women just care less about finding love?
No. That's stupid.

>>18010900
Probably more the second one than anything. I hear plenty of women who are content to stay single and have a "if it happens, it happens" attitude. A good friend of mine is 40 this year and hasn't ever had a relationship longer than a year or two, but she doesn't regret anything about her life and she's happy as she is. Women also tend to be more open to supporting each other since we're more social and open about our emotions, so I suppose women don't as much of a need to fill any void.

>>18010910
>>18010912
Fair enough, that explains why most "normal" girls do online dating less than men.
I've got another question then:
Why does it seem like there are less pathetic women online than men?

"Pathetic" as in don't like talking face-to-face, have never had a single relationship in their lives, ect.
I could go on any dating site right now and find hundreds of guys like this pretty quickly, but not find nearly as many women who fit the same attributes.

The first thing I think of is that there are less women like this than men, but maybe the "pathetic" girls just avoid the internet more than men?
Or just go different places online than men do?

>>18010941
>Why does it seem like there are less pathetic women online than men?
The women who go on there are usually seeking hookups or attention whores, not pathetic girls.
>The first thing I think of is that there are less women like this than men,
That is very true. Just look at the gender percentages on things like /r9k/. Women don't get so furious when they get rejected, and don't get rejected as often.
>the "pathetic" girls just avoid the internet more than men?
Kind of, yeah. When a woman knows she's unattractive or whatever, she knows it and kind of stops trying.
>Or just go different places online than men do?
tumblr.com

>>18010941
>Why does it seem like there are less pathetic women online than men?
I don't think that pathetic women avoid the internet more than men, but I do think that they probably go on different sites. I've said it before and I know that other people have made the same comparison, but 4chan and tumblr are two sides of the same coin. You find the same sorts of people on both, but they tend to be of one gender depending on the site.

Pathetic men are probably more on online dating sites because of what I mentioned in >>18010912. They need some form of companionship because they have few emotional connections and online dating provides them a place where they can meet women to make emotional connections with, whereas women are more likely to have friends that they can open up to

>>18010941
I think men need women more than women need men, now that we don't have the financial status quo of housewife and male breadwinner.

Women are the emotional support for their boyfriends or husbands, whereas most women go to their friends or mothers/sisters and their partners. A woman can function okay without a man, and can always go to a sperm bank if she craves children, while men tend to need women to help them deal with their baggage.

>>18010961
Ooh, just wait until the inevitable butthurt male comes along and is all "women will be obsolete when men master sex robots!"

>>18010776
does this mean hes an original kang

>>18010563
I don't drink either so that's perfect

I want to ask a girl out (met her at school), but I don't know how old she is and I'm afraid she'll be like 16 years old. Wat do?
I also don't know if she already has a boyfriend or not.

Need help
I liked this girl for about 6 months, we go parties together all the time, she recently brokeup with her abusive bf about a week ago, we had dinner shortly after the incidence and she told me everything in that dinner, i was wondering if i should ask her out for valentines day for dinner and just ask if she would like to take it to the next level.

/adv what yall think? too fast?

>>18011010
too fast
you don't wanna be a rebound

on that note, don't become her emotional tampon either....just wait a bit to ask her out

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>girl that comes in one night to work tells her friend (my coworker) that I was cute as hell
>didn't realize it but it was a girl that I saw working at a coffee shop a couple weeks ago that I thought was really attractive
>go into coffee shop today, she's working, don't waste anymore time and ask her to hang out
>She says yes
>get her number and start texting her a little
>she seems a bit uninterested, but still responds to everything I've said fairly quickly

Did I already fucking mess this up? or do some girls just text like this?

The last thing I texted her was if she wanted to grab coffee/hang out this wednesday/friday in hopes to salvage this opportunity. But I can't help but feel like I've already fucked the whole thing up.

>>18010853
Usually reasons

>>18011068
Can confirm

This might be a dumb question but are there girls that actually genuinely enjoy anal? And if they do, is it just in the sense of "I enjoy making my bf feel good" or does it actually feel pleasurable in any sense? Because it shouldn't, right?

>go on dates with girl
>she says she likes me but I'm not her type
>later invites me out to drinks "to get to know each other as friends, so there's no pressure or expectations"
>I accept
Should I cancel? Is it actually going to be worth bothering?

There's a girl I know
I like her very much
And she likes me a lot

She has a boyfriend and we see each other every few years

Anyways, she's posting on Facebook how sad she's feeling inside
A few months ago, when we last met in person, she was feeling it too

I want to reach out on FB, but I feel like such a loser trying to sneak in while she's sad

Like, I'm some cuck jelly of her boyfriend and I'm just abusing her sadness to weasel my way in.

I care about her a lot. Not just in the "I want to be her boyfriend" way. But in the really care about her way.

Should I message her like "Hey, how're you feeling"?
It feels like such a shitty thing to do.

>>18010853
If she starts chronically bitching about non-sense I put her ass out the door.

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>>18011107

cancel for fucks sake man

How am I actually supposed to meet a virgin girl? I actually listened to the advice ive read here and tried church, which is either packed with elderly or full of 20 year olds whining about racism. Am I just unlucky or is it that hard to meet a girl I like who hasn't fucked others? I don't even care if she has no sex drive.

>>18011127
You're probably not going to if you've already tried church. Just give up on the pure virgin waifu meme, and find a non slut who you click with.

>>18011141
I can't, it's a personal thing I literally cannot cope with. It's not that I think only virgins are loyal. If nothing works by the time I finish college I'm just going to give up.

>>18011153
Well, why do you not cope with it?

>>18011158
I can't stand knowing she'd get intimate with anyone else, maybe it's jealousy but I've tried giving it a chance, and it will slowly drive me insane. Even if I like the girl, once in a while the thought of her having been with other guys just makes me sick. I know for certain I'll never be able to fully cope. (It's bothered me for years ). So either I do what I can to marry another virgin or just live alone as comfortably as I can.

>>18011169
Seems like you need to get over it a bit. Women don't preserve their virginity anymore, because aside from the men on here (who no woman will touch anyway) and christians or other religious groups, no one cares. Unless you're 10/10, religious and a great catch in other ways, you won't find it.

>>18011184
I'm definitely attractive and workout regularly, but what does 10/10 mean? I have pretty good career prospects too? Either way it's not like being even better will conjure me up a virgin girl. I'm pretty confident if I could meet the right girl she'd at least accept a date. But I don't meet any girls I want to date. And I'm very serious, there is no way I'll be able to really get over it.

>>18011192
Then you have mental issues, but hell, it's no skin off my nose what you do.

I hope you find her, but maybe, one day, when you get sick of being alone, you'll change.

Also, the fact that virginity is the only thing you care about means that you might not find someone who you genuinely respect, get along with, have stuff in common with and find attractive, which imo are much more important than virginity. And of course, with a virgin, there's still the risk they'd cheat.

>>18011197
Obviously I want those other things too. I figured it was implied. If I just wanted a virgin and ignored everything else, then yes I could 100% have one. I'm talking about looking at least okay (not fat) and actually liking each other. It's not like virginity is my goal, it's just something I need so I don't want to kill myself every time I'm reminded of her ex's.

Guys:
If you found out a girl spent months trying to to change herself into something you like, how would you feel?

Girls:
Is it okay to do something like that? I've never really consciously tried to change myself for a guy, but here I am, going to the gym and reading about his interests.

>>18011211
I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to better yourself in general, and if a guy is motivation to do that then sure, whatever works.
I think it just draws the line when you're doing something that's not really benefitting you, and is actually more destructive to impress anyone.
Like if the dudes doing drugs so you start doing drugs to have something in common with him, time to let that fantasy go lol.
Hitting the gym though, I'm sure the vast majority of us could use some more gym time.
As for the trying to get into his hobbies, I also don't see anything inherently wrong with that, but you also can't fake liking something, especially if the other person is passionate about it. If you don't like it, you don't like it. Don't try to pretend you do because that's more insulting than anything really.
Looking into something new and trying it out, again even if motivated by a guy, is perfectly ok to me.

>>18011210
Dude, it sounds like you have a major inferiority complex or something.

How do girls feel about guys who are extremely ambitious/driven?

I got told by friends, it may seem like I'm overcompensating for some insecurities but I genuinely have this drive since birth to just work hard on various projects.

I tried being subtle and modest about it but at the same time I think I shouldn't undersell myself on a date either.

Females:
Realistically, if your ex beat up your new boyfriend, what would you think of the situation?

A former friend added photo of a fitness model that said friend follows in instagram to fb and tagged myself and another friend in it. Thr photo is of some fitness model flexing his arm, I dont even know why he put thr photo on fb. I noticed the photo tag has me as the face of the person in the photo and the other tagged friend is some tagged to some random part of the photo.

I dont think the photo is directed at me but found it odd that my tag is the face. Does facebook just autoadd the tags in a specific position? (Meaning the former friend didnt intentionally tag me as the face rather facebook autodid it when he added tags). The only reason I ask is because this former friend used to be a bit of a dick to me so Im not sure if its a subtle dig. The photo in itself isnt rude or anything its just a bodybuilder. To even see that Im tagged as the face I had to click on the photo

>>18011234
Sounds like you might come across as being a tad arrogant. Don't deliberately talk about all the things you do. If you're genuinely interesting, that'll come across in the conversation.

It's the difference between
"Hi, I'm anon, a neurosurgeon, I've travelled the world and play 3 instruments and speak 5 languages, and I'm practically perfect"
and
"So what have you been doing?
"Travelling"
"Oh, where have you been, I've been to x, y and z"

>>18011234
I think that's incredibly attractive. Think your friends are just jealous.
Only thing I can see is that if you're so ambitious about your projects that you'd put relationships/dating on the back burner, then maybe you aren't really looking for a date right now lol. Like, no girl wants to have to fight for attention. Don't have to put her first either, but at least not last lol.
>>18011235
I'd call the cops, ensure my bf is pressing charges and do everything in my power to testify against my ex, and get a restraining order against him.

>>18011241
Auto-tags, yeah. For some reason, at some angles, FB thinks biceps are faces.

>>18011235
I'd think the ex was a cunt. And I'd probably either a), beat him up myself (I hold 3 black belts) or call the cops.

Guys: what's your favorite beer?

I'm a skinnyfag who got /fit/
I have muscles but I still show my DYEL roots
Like, my hands are long and spidery
And if I grab something too hard, my wrists look like a bunch of Lincoln logs spliced together

I hate this because while my chest is broad, my hands are tiny. I don't think I can ever beat this

>>18011256
Your insecurity is far more unattractive than any body part you have mate.

Be chill, come to terms.

>>18011256
I don't even find muscles attractive. Muscles are eh. That being said, I don't think that matters much.

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>>18011255
I like reds, on average
But my absolute favourite is pic related

>>18011264
Good fucking taste, my man

>>18010412
I'm asking the same gender this time.
Guys, how do you stop snoring?
My wife is pregnant so she can't take her sleeping medication anymore. Because of this, my snoring, which used to not bother her at all, either wakes her up or makes her unable to fall back asleep if she gets up to pee (and as she is pregnant, she does so every night).
I've tried taking a hot shower, taking sinus pills, using nasal strips (the extra strong ones at that) all in the same night yet apparently I still snore and too loudly. I've also tried using a white noise machine to drown out the snoring sound but that didn't work either.
Any and all advice welcome, I can't sleep on the couch for 8 fucking months. Plus I'd like to be able to sleep in the same bed as my pregnant wife too.

>>18011261
>>18011263
Thanks guys
I love my body and I love how it's growing every time I go to the gym
Bigger is better

But my hands are fucking Voldemort hands
I think my girl is nerved out by being stroke by spiders

>>18011269
Yeaaah boi
Come up to Montreal
Some great ass beers here

>>18011244

Thanks, but usually I try to stay humble. It's just a problem when the usual first date questions come up. "What do you do?" or "Do you travel a lot?".

The truth comes out eventually is what I'm getting at.

Although I admit my passion for certain topics gets the better of me and might be considered obnoxious at times.

>>18011247
It tagged me as the face of the person in the photo, is that still an auto tag? Im assuming the guy wanted to tag me in it and forst place it tagged was the face in the random photo of the fitness model

>>18011111
Checked

>>18011211
Depends on how you change. If you had general problems in your life that caused you trouble and finally got your shit together, that would be nice. If you change your personality just to make a guy like you, it would be awkward because it sounds like you have low self esteem and no pride.

>>18011255
Flensburger Pilsener and Kona Golden Ale

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>>18011276
I bought pic related on several occasions to drink with friend, but never got around to actually drinking any because being the designated driver is suffering.

Still, aside from my whining, unibroue is god.

I have a hairy ass. I hope ladies like it because I'm not shaving it.

>>18011304
Unibroue is based as fuck, osti
Yeah, mon osti de cris gars

>>18011312
Girls will tolerate it. They won't tolerate your attitude though.

>>18011317
You'd be surprised what a girl would tolerate.

>>18011246
>>18011250
I asked you what you'd think, you useless hags. Not what you will do.

>>18011323
No one on this god forsaken site.
>>18011324
I told you. I'd think the ex was a cunt, be concerned for my current bf, and feel like beating the shit out of him.

>>18011324
Why, are you the ex? Do you want us to say we'd think you are the big strong alpha male? Or do you need reassurance that your girlfriend doesn't think you're a beta because you're the one wh got beaten up (protip: if she loves you, she won't).

>>18010563
No, I don't drink either

ive only given a few blowjobs before and i wanna give my new bf one, any tips? I just wanna make him feel good

>>18011379
I plan on beating the guy up, although I'm pretty happy the way things are (she was completely nuts). I just want one last closure.

>>18011402
Well, I echo what someone else said, I'd think you were a pathetic jealous cunt who is such a neanderthal they resort to their fists.

>>18011392
Vary the speeds, kind of tease it to start with by kissing and licking his dick, tickle the top with your tongue, deepthroat mainly as a climax, and, most importantly DON'T ignore the balls- yes, they taste gross, but they love it, and you don't give blowjobs for yourself.

>>18011402
I agree with >>18011407

>>18011211
>If you found out a girl spent months trying to to change herself into something you like, how would you feel?
If she's trying to actively mold her personality and interests into something they aren't just because she likes me, then that's a nice gesture but it isn't gonna work out for anybody in any sort of longterm run. If you're in a relationship with someone you are going to get to know the "real" them sooner rather than later, so no use trying to be someone you aren't. That said it's about the honesty and the degree of the situation. If you have a healthy curiosity about a potential partner's interests and want to look into them/get involved in some way then that's another thing entirely than trying to alter the very fabric of your personality for someone else.

However if you mean just trying to better yourself in general to be the best you and the best partner you can be for someone else then that's great.

>>18011402
Well? Are you going to answer to these two?
>>18011407
>>18011415
Who I third?

>>18011407
>>18011415
>>18011422
True, I just want the bitch to suffer cause she cheated (with yet another guy) as well as this one. She's a narcissist and can't understand what she did wrong, although she held me emotional hostage by threatening to kill herself after I found out about guy nr.1 so I tried to patch things up. Meanwhile she was looking for someone else to pay the rent and found one.

>>18011429
How does SHE suffer if you beat the guy up?

>>18011433
His already ugly face becomes uglier and he'll have trouble being much fun with broken bones. Where are you going with this? I just need your perspective/what you would feel and think.

>>18011429
She will just think you're a loser.

Worse, she'll tell all her conniving friends, and rumour'll get around. Just let it rest anon.

>>18010412
Is Hair loss a Serious disadvantage in male Competition? I am 25 years old and 40% of my hair is gone.

Also what about the rumor that girls are into guys in relationships?

>>18011448
>Is Hair loss a Serious disadvantage in male Competition? I am 25 years old and 40% of my hair is gone.
Depends on if you're clinging to scraps like George Costanza or if you can pull off a Jason Statham.

>Also what about the rumor that girls are into guys in relationships?
It's true. A guy that's in relationship means he's attractive to others, stable, can commit, is interesting, fun to be around etc. It basically just shows their boyfriend material and people want what they can't have.

>>18011448
>Is Hair loss a Serious disadvantage in male Competition?
Shave it all off, and it's not.

Talking about Male Competition like that is definitely a disadvantage though.
>Also what about the rumor that girls are into guys in relationships?
Only a certain kind of girl, of narcissistic nature.

>>18010774
He looks like a tweaker to me, not sure why he's so popular.

>>18011453
>can commit
I mean on the face of it sure, but if you get him to cheat it kind of indicates the exact opposite.

>>18011467
That's the catch 22 of it.

>>18011255
Staropramen, pilsner urquell and franziskaner. All three european beer

>>18011448
1. Shave it all off, if you do that almost bald but long hair look you're a lost cause
2. This is imperative for a bald guy: lift/work out

Those two combined will make you look more bad-ass than people with hair.

>>18011448
>Also what about the rumor that girls are into guys in relationships?
Yeah there's truth to it. Girls will pick up on a lot of subtleties and implications because you piqued a girl's interest and are apparently someone they can commit to, and even when you're not around her you probably carry yourself differently because you're happier, stable, and probably more confident in general.

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>>18011435
>I just need your perspective/what you would feel and think.
Everyone just thinks its exceedingly pathetic, stop fishing for a different response. If you just moved on and tried to make the best of your life you could have had real revenge shutting her out when she came crawling back. But assaulting some random schmuck just says that there was a reason she was desperate to get out of the relationship even if she acted like an idiot in the process.

>>18011255
this guy gets it >>18011470
Also Stella Artois (EU) and Singha (Thai) are really good.

Keep away from American and most Scandinavian brands.

>>18011271
Do you smoke, or drink alcohol? Is your head on a higher position than your chest, because of s big pillow?

Try going sober in bed and lay as flat as you can in bed. Weightloss can also be a thing. Try sleeping on your stomach.

If nothing helps, there are devices on the internet which can help you stop.

Congrats you two, you wont be finding sleep anyway for the next years ;)

>>18011479
I gotcha, I just feel that she wronged me in so many ways. All those "I'd die for you, I love you, I have found the one!" type of bullshit.

I never did anything wrong to her, all I did was try to be with her until she fixed herself. In the process, she ruined me.

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girls, if you noticed a 7/10 guy drawing art/ trying to be better at basic art things while in the classroom, would he seem interesting and would you strike up a conversation with him?

>>18011507
Yes. I find creativity attractive.

>>18011507
I tried to strike up a convo with you but you were too awkward

>>18011507
No. This is real life, not TV.

>>18011507
Women can sense your desperation to be approached. Just do your art shit and give no fucks about women and they will come to you.

>>18011211
Changing yourself to be a better person and making yourself more appealing in the process is fine. Trying to completely change and mold your interests/personality not necessarily to benefit you but just to seem appealing would be really off-putting, not to mention unhealthy for you.

Girls:
1:what does the average girl think about a druguser? I try out MDMA and speed on a monthly base, but im not sure if i should tell when going out on a date (of course not the first one).

2: where can i touch girls when making out? I dont think just grabbing ass and boobs is enough. Tried holding their shoulders hips and kissing the neck/shoulder part, but never get to know if its good or not

>>18011531
>what does the average girl think about a druguser
Weed or hallucinogenics is fine (unless being used constantly). Anything else is an automatic no. That's just me though.

>where can i touch girls when making out
Depends on he girl. If she's comfortable with you just touch where you feel like touching and see if she's into it.

>>18011531
>1:what does the average girl think about a druguser? I try out MDMA and speed on a monthly base, but im not sure if i should tell when going out on a date (of course not the first one).
I wouldn't date anyone who did anything stronger than weed, and even then not too often.
>2: where can i touch girls when making out? I dont think just grabbing ass and boobs is enough. Tried holding their shoulders hips and kissing the neck/shoulder part, but never get to know if its good or not
Hips and waist, kissing the neck, running your hands up the back of their legs, back of the knees if you're not standing up (a little know female erogenous zone).

Girls

Have you ever had a boyfriend who had troubles with overreacting during fights who ended up getting better and controlling himself? I really like this girl. We're hitting it off great. I'd like to think I've been the perfect boyfriend in most aspects. I'm a generous lover sexually, I treat her nice, help her out with money when I can and she really loves me. But whenever we get into a fight I freak out a little. I don't call her names or get super mad but I send a lot of messages....I hate the silent treatment. But I feel like I'm 10 times better than with my ex. With my ex it was way worse. Can I change and calm myself or do guys like this usually always stay like this? I hate feeling like this honestly. We don't fight much though. Through 4 months we have gotten into 2 fights and they are usually resolved in a few hours.

>>18011540
Good to know, thanks!

>>18011551
my bf and i have never had a real fight. we had some discussions, but i wouldn't call them outright fighting. he is one to overreact and tae everything very personal too. i guess it is because when i disagree with him in any way he takes that as me not loving him. which is annoying as hell. i can disagree with him and love him deeply perfectly fine. love doesn't mean you can't have different opinions. i have explained that to him and it helped. i think with more discussions about the topic in the future, he might be able to take on a more mature mindset regarding differing opinions and relationships

I guess this goes for both parties: How do you start talking to someone over seas? Does your significant other have a completely different cultural and ethnic background? If so, how did you both talk and bond through the relationship?

>>18011500
>I just feel that she wronged me in so many ways.
That's not a reason to beat SOMEONE ELSE

>>18011567
This. Beat her instead.

>>18011559
I think that is our main problem. When she gets mad at me she stops talking to me for a little while and it aggravates me a bit. I feel like we should communicate when we have issues. But she is usually willing to talk after a little while. I guess I just need to remind myself to give her some space when we're fighting and after she's calmed down we can talk out our problems. We ended the night on pretty good terms. She's just stressed because of money and school. I just hope I can learn to think more before sending messages.

We're not moved in together yet, but we are planning on moving in together within the year after saving up some money. I just hope all goes well. This girl is the best gf I've ever had and I want to make this work.

>>18011565
>How do you start talking to someone over seas?
I have many foreign friends that I've met on the internet
>Does your significant other have a completely different cultural and ethnic background?
I guess. We're from different countries, speak different languages
>If so, how did you both talk and bond through the relationship?
Just like I would with anybody else
Having a different background just guarantees more topics to talk about

>>18011573
I think your girlfriend may be a bit like me. It's great that you're trying to change a bit.
Maybe you can try telling her to get back to you whenever she's ready to talk, or telling her that you're there to talk whenever she's ready, and wait.

Arguing is very very stressing for me, and whenever it happens I need some space and do other things, which I know can be seen as lack of interest to solve things, but that's not the case.

How long is a good time to wait before trying to pursue a relationship with a guy who had broken up with someone?

I really like someone but feel like if I move too fast, I'd be a rebound.

>>18011551
Boyfriend was absolutely terrible during fights - threw stuff, yelled, called me names, used to ignore me for days.
He went to therapy to fix that and he improved a lot.

You have to do some work on yourself and learn how to manage anger, but you can also ask your girlfriend to treat you better when you're fighting.
Have a strategy, and make sure the most reasonable of you say "Hey, we're arguing, let's just follow our plan".
For us what works is 45 minutes separated when each of us does an activity to unwind, then we cuddle up and talk.

>>18011507
I mean, if I already wanted to talk to him, I'd use his art as an excuse. But, in general, I don't talk to random people without a reason.

>>18011593
It depends, you may have emotionally broken up with someone long before the relationship ends, and you may not do it until long afterwards.

>>18011593
Depends on so many factors. How bad was the breakup, how long they were together, etc.

Like if I was with a gal for say, half a year and things just sorta puttered out? A couple weeks would probably be the minimum to get my head back in the right place.

this dude I was hooking up with (who I knew was a big slut but didn't care if we were just fucking), told me that he liked me, and wanted to treat me better and implied getting more serious
then the next weekend (last weekend) he invited me to a party, and when I showed up late and he was making out intensely with another girl
I was so hurt I texted him "Hey! Could you please give me my earrings back so I can never see you again? Thanks! :)" (I accidentally left my earrings in his room) and he never responded.
Then I run into him today at dinner and he says "hi" and smiles at me and stares at me a bunch and keeps turning around and looking at me.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?
why do guys suck like that?
why couldn't he just apologize and admit he fucked up?

Male here
How do I know if I'm hot stuff or not?

File: 1484587505001.png (431KB, 640x478px) Image search: [Google]

431KB, 640x478px

I had coffee with this girl who I think is super cute about 3 weeks ago.
Before we left, I suggested we hang out again and she said yeah.
Now I know she's seen a few dudes of tinder and some are going somewhere.
She was in a minor car accident and I just asked if she was okay but she never got back to me.

Been 3 weeks, do I just move on? I'm not really phased by it, I just don't want to waste this opportunity. She was keen on hanging out more when we got coffee, should I just appear out of the blue AGAIN?

>>18011659
Just so you know, women do the same too.

Some people are just assholes anon. But since he was a huge slut anyway, you knew what was coming.

>>18011669
Either you'll find someone who makes you believe you are, or one day you'll just wake up and go "Man, I'm hot"

>>18011659
>who I knew was a big slut but didn't care if we were just fucking
You're engaging in casual sex. I don't get why people who are doing that look down on others who also do it, just somewhat more frequently.

>>18011659
>"Hey! Could you please give me my earrings back so I can never see you again? Thanks! :)"
I'd ignore something so passive aggressive too, and I'm not even a guy.

>>18011675
Try it one more time and if it doesn't work, move on

>>18011669
This >>18011682 reply is all you need

>>18011531
1. Depends on the girl, of course. If you're looking for a pure virginal churchgoing waifu, don't be surprised if she's disgusted by you. This is more about who you choose than anything else. It's on you.

2. Anywhere you like, just make sure you don't touch tentatively. That shit is a turn off. Touch with enough conviction and you can make even an elbow grab feel good

So some of my peers are pretty fucking picky regarding women. Like "I won't date a woman over 5'4"", or that she has to be asian or some shit like that.

This is really weird right? I understand having preferences, but not dealbreakers like that.

>>18011682
This. But I had a combination of both that led me to the conclusion. But at the same time I believe that it's only a belief that I'm attractive and I'm not actually attractive. It's a bizarre loop that I can't break away from.

>>18011698
Thanks man, I'll ask her to hang again.

>>18010412
Girls:
Have you ever left someone you dated for a long time for another man and came back without the other man dumping you?

>>18011699
It's an immaturity thing.

>>18011699
>>18011706

Pretty much. Girls do it too, when they're young.

You've hit a mature attitude when you start caring more about values, interests, intellect and personality than physical attributes (although obviously it still matters).

>>18011704
No. That's shitty and awful, and I'd never leave someone for someone else- it seems a really immature reason to dump someone, that you've seen someone better. After all, everyone has their faults and you're going to find them with the other person.

Why do you ask?

>>18011713
Wow, thats actually really refreshing to hear, honestly smiled when i read that first line.
girlfriend of 2 years left me for another dude, thought she was my future. i was just wondering because she has given me no signs of ever liking me since she left. dont want her back, but anything to show me i wasnt just being used for 2 years would be nice

>>18011734
There is this girl i met on a technofestival. She is always with her two best friends around. I met her a couple of times in her homecity, we went partying with with s group of 5, had a great time. Im having a crush on her, but i know she is pretty openminded about sexuality. I want to make out with her, but finding the right moment is pretty hard.

Girls, would you make out with a guy if you meet him on rare occasions and would you rather do it private or don't mind a club?

Im not looking for a relationship, but she is superhot and im curious. Also i fear to get rejected, yet i know that trying isnt as bad as I think. I mean if she says no, its not a big deal, isnt it?

Girls: if i would ask you about on of your best friends if I would have chances, will you tell her that i asked you? Do you think that would be a turn off? (Because of signs of insecurity)

>>18011754
Yes. to both of those. Man up and ask her yourself.

>>18011703
Started talking to her.
Within 3 messages it's gone dead. Hah

Does anyone here know what it's like to be completely unimportant to someone that you love? Someone that never makes time for you, but always for other people?

>>18011782
No

Hey guys,

I'm a girl going on my first date ever and I'm just afraid I'll seem boring. I'm not very good with people and it's hard for me to open up, plus I haven't done a whole lot in my life to be able to talk about myself much.

Any tips on how to get around this and make it a fun date?

>>18011867
>make it a fun date?
suck his dick

>>18011869
Give serious answer pls

>>18011874
Blowjobs are fun though

Ladies: What signs do you get from a guy/what do you feel that would make you unload emotional baggage/tell horror stories?
I've had two women in the past six months decide to unload all their horror on me. The first was early in dating, the newest one is still in friend mode.

>>18011881
Must be but still, I feel like that should be later on, not first date

I just don't want to sperg and mess it all up

If I get gf, will she be my personal prostitute?

>>18011883
Either it's when I trust them, either it was back in the days where I used it to find a white knight to save me from myself.

Nowadays I don't even mention some of them before I'm six months in the relationship. I also no longer have hang ups due to previous trauma so I don't need to disclose shit.

>>18011734
>i was just wondering because she has given me no signs of ever liking me since she left. dont want her back, but anything to show me i wasnt just being used for 2 years would be nice
It's generally considered good form to not gush over your ex. It's both disrespectful to her current boyfriend and disrespectful to lead you on.
I'm not really friendly with my ex. Even though we left on semi-bad terms (though I have a hard time imagining what leaving on good terms looks like), I don't regret our relationship. I still loved him. I'm glad that we were together for the three years we were.
I don't want to give him hope that I would ever get back together with him, but I do hope he's doing well.

>>18011867
Dont let him talk all the time about himself. Try to keep ratio 50:50. Lots of people think theyre boring. Dont believe it

>>18011659
Sounds like you guys need to communicate. What he defines as "treating you better" and you define as "treating you better" sound different. You need to be clear about boundaries. There was an implication of getting more serious - what does that mean? Are you sure that he meant monogamy?
He might be confused that you're upset when he thought he never agreed to anything. He doesn't think he fucked up because he didn't say that he wouldn't kiss other girls.
You assume that he knows what he did, so you sent him that text. Maybe communicate that you were hurt that he was kissing another girl when you thought that you were moving towards monogamy. That would open up the conversation.
You implied that you were done with him- which doesn't really open the table for him possibly apologizing. You shouldn't really threaten breaking up with someone when what you really want is an apology.

>>18011531
"Average" is impossible to answer, and it of course also depends on your location and what kind of girl you want. If you're up for dating a wilder girl who parties hard on occasion herself, it likely won't be a big deal. If your ideal is a girl who is not into that scene... then she likely won't be into you.

Personally it would be too much for me. I wouldn't care if I fell for someone who did those maybe once-thrice a year, but once a month is way too often in my opinion. Also it's not "trying out", it's regular use.
Don't bring it up on the first date but bring it up early on, second/third date absolutely.
Also using MDMA every month is really, really taxing on you and you might want to look up on the involved risks particularly for depression.

You can grab girls anywhere you want as long as you don't have to awkwardly make it happen. Personally I think it's more exciting (especially at first) if you both touch and leave something to be desired, though. So more a heavy hand on the small of my back than trying to touch as much surface as possible.
Hips are very normal.

>>18011888
Full house wintessed. So, trust, huh. I feel I don't present myself as trustworthy or approachable. So that might be it: he doesn't talk to anyone, so who's he gonna tell.
Given that, what would she be trying to tell me by unloading? The save me thing you mentioned?

>>18011754
Depends on my loyalties and how the friend would react. I have some neurotic friends who would obsess over this if I told them - in that case I won't. I have some laid back friends who'd be flattered and not give it a second thought - I might tell them, especially if I don't know you that well and have known them for a long time.

If you ask me not to, I won't. In case the female friend doesn't like you and I feel she needs to know that you do (eg because she wants to do something that will lead you on), I'd just act like I got a "gut feeling" that you might like her so to be cautious.

If you ask it like that, it's a turn off. There's a difference between "hey what's she like, any idea if we'd get along well, what does she look for in a partner" and "do you think there's any chance she might ever like me?".

>>18011573
>>18011551
>But she is usually willing to talk after a little while. I guess I just need to remind myself to give her some space when we're fighting and after she's calmed down we can talk out our problems
She's being very smart here. She understands that tensions are high, and wants to calm down, mull over what she wants to say, and then return to the conversation. She's not giving you the silent treatment. That implies that she's punishing you. What she's trying to do is not say anything that she regrets.
You need to say what's going on aloud/in writing in order to process what's going on, right? She needs to do that stuff in her head, and she feels rushed if she moves to talking about it too fast.
Some things you can do in the meantime is to keep a journal and write out all your ideas and thoughts. Maybe argue with yourself a bit, imagine how she might respond to things, and work out how you feel and what you think. Refine your argument and figure out how to phrase it in a way that won't cause misunderstandings. You could also call a friend or family member and talk the issue through. Or come on /adv/, there's lots of people like you who use this board for that purpose.

>>18011867
In case that changes how you read the advice, I'm not a guy but I think this stuff is fairly universal;

>show interest in him, ask him questions, particularly follow up questions that show you listened well to what he told you so far
>try not to be intimidating, if you disagree with him make sure to not attack him personally and stress that your viewpoint just differs, if he makes a joke you don't find funny you don't have to pretend it's hilarious but just give a little smile or even a bemused look if it's really bad
>leave your phone in your purse/jeans and unless there might be some emergency, turn it off altogether
>bring your own money but don't argue if he wants to pay for you
>tell him some stuff about yourself, especially if he's shy to ask questions, you can reflect beforehand on some stuff (it doesn't have to be groundbreaking, just stuff like personal associations, memories, preferences etc that show him something about the kind of person you are)
>don't mention any exes
>if you had a good time, be sure to let him know that at the end of the date, if he initiated this one immediately suggest that you hit him up for a second date (and plan that one yourself if he planned this one)
>if all else fails and you really shut down and cannot talk about yourself, tell him you're a bit on edge and not that used to discussing yourself so he at least knows it's not anything he did, then be pro active in steering conversation towards a neutral topic or something you are more at ease with

>>18010412
Girls,
should I fuck you and then propose a FWB agreement or settle things from the start and then fuck you?

>>18011908
And some long term advice: find good girlfriends who will want to hear all your embarrassing moments and secrets! This is one of the great perks of a strong close female friendship. Best practice you could ask for.

Also just some tips to enjoy yourself:
>think of what you want to wear beforehand, pick something that you feel like yourself in (not a dress you love but is way out of your comfort zone), is cute and comfortable, try it in front of the mirror to know for certain you're happy with the look, then lay it out the day beforehand with a handkerchief with perfume or any other scent you like (scented oils, herbs, fresh deodorant) to make it subtly scented
>leave loads of prepping time, bathe more elaborately than you usually do (scrub or take a bath instead of showering), so you can then slip into your fresh sweet smelling clothes while completely clean/pampered and feel like a princess
>spend the last ~fifteen minutes before you leave hyping yourself up with energetic, upbeat music that makes you feel perky and ready to take on the world

Lots of fun!!

>>18011110
If she's posting like that on facebook, that's literally what they want. You're showing her that you care about her and that you're worried. Reach out. It's the opposite of shitty.

>>18011065
Some girls just text like that. You did good to ask her out on a date instead of waffling around. You'll know on the date if this goes anywhere. You're fine.

>>18011909
The first is most common, but it depends on the context. If you took a girl out on actual dates (so going to the cinema, to grab something to eat or hiking together, not hanging out and smoking weed or watching Netflix and making out the entire time) then she will likely take sex as a natural progression and think you're headed towards a relationship. In that case you should make it quite clear.
However if you pick a girl up from a club, or she's a friend/acquaintance you do not have romantic or affectionate interaction with and suddenly realize you have sexual tension with, only making it clear afterwards is fine. Doesn't 100% eliminate the chance that she feels hurt or had the wrong idea, but nothing does really, you can't account for everything.

>>18011909

Settle it first, then bang. If you're unlucky, the girl could have feelings for you and if you fuck her first it will hurt her to realise you only want sex. It's just unnecessary drama all over. With FWB arrangements it's important that both parties are on the same page.

>ask girl to get lunch
>"maybe some other time"
>ask again later
>"it seems like i'm always busy"

if i happen to come across her on campus, she talks to me, even if i don't notice her, but i don't have an actual chance with her, do i?

>>18011886
No. Sex has its place within a relationship but people have their preferences. Just like you (likely) wouldn't want to have your girlfriend insert something into your anus or call you names before every time you have sex - not out of resentment of because of your image but just because it makes sex less or no fun to you - she'll have boundaries that she doesn't want to cross.
Likewise she won't want to have sex that she doesn't feel like having so you are dependent on her personal libido.

It is possible to have this arrangement but it is quite rare because it would rather mean that you are almost 100% sexually compatible, or at least she is with your preferences and libido. That's so exceptional that it's not worth trying to get with someone for that reason.

>>18011920
Put it on her.
"Well let me know if you're ever not busy! I'm typically available at these times in a week. If we match up, text me"

>>18011920
You don't. She enjoys chatting with you but is actively discouraging you from asking her out.

If a girl is sincerely busy but interested, she'll offer a suggestion to spend time in another way or at another time. Repeated "no I can't" without any attempt to make it work in the future are a low key rejection, both in romance and friendships. (And, in some cultures, business arrangements.)

>>18011920

Most likely answer is that she's not that interested, but it's not certain. She could just be genuinely busy. Maybe try one more time by asking if she's free and if she still makes up an excuse then give up.

i mean, she told me when she's busy, it happens to be the time i'm free every day, but i haven't asked about weekends yet

>>18011924
>>18011926
i'll probably ask her out next time i see her in person, and if that doesn't work out, forget about her

>>18011935
Not to rain on your parade but unless you paraphrased her replies in an inaccurate way, on top of not taking initiative her rejections are also explicitly dispassionate. "Maybe" some other time. Suggesting that she won't be free in the future either ("always" busy).
There's still a middle road of not making an alternative suggestion but still showing disappointment that she can't make it, or enthusiasm at being asked. She won't do that either.

>>18011936
yeah, i know that's probably the case, but i'm still holding out hope that it's just hard to convey emotions over text, since she always seems pretty happy to see me when she does (and we've hung out before)

>>18011941
I see. But yeah absolutely do it in person then, and if she tells you no I'd just straight up ask her to let you know when she is available, if it does sound fun to her. Don't make that accusative, just neutrally tell her then move on to another topic and do not expect to hear from her again. If you do, that's a nice surprise.

>>18010412
Is it really that much of a turnoff for women when the guy says "I like you"? The internet is full of "tips" from """"experts"""" saying "as soon as you show affection YOU LOST THE GAME BRAH, YOU LOST THE FUCKING GAME FOREVER!"

Now that notion doesn't come from nowhere, plenty of anecdotal experience to back this up, but come on females cannot be this obsessed with mindgames can they?

I have talked with my girlfriend about the number of people we have slept with. We have both a bit higher number but we are in the same ballpark so it is ok for me.
Now when I cleaned I found a list, which could be her list of people she has slept with but I am not entirely sure.
The thing is, the number on there would be much higher than she had stated me. I wouldn't have a problem with it but I think if she states that she is honest than I expect her to be honest.

Since I am not entirely sure if it is that list I am not sure how to proceed. Should I ask her or what should I do?

>>18011960
It's not really mindgames, it's human psychology. Telling someone that you like them can absolutely work out, but only if they reached that point themselves already. If not, there's multiple "risks" but the most common ones are;
>she hasn't reached that stage yet and feels pressured to "catch up", or is a bit put off because she thinks you cannot possibly really like her, you barely know her...
>in her perception you switch from being an eligible man who might or might not like her seriously enough, to a suitor who's already won, and people tend to value what they have a lot less than what they can win

It's shitty but it's not as simple as it being a turn off to hear that someone likes you - that's not the point. It is more comparable, in an extreme way, to a girl telling you that she loves you too quickly. Yeah you want to hear that she loves you - but not after a week! That will make you nervous, or think she's desperate/unstable.

And for the record, guys can be put off by this as well, I have been told that I was "too eager". But I don't give a fuck, I'd rather scare someone off occasionally than trying to be all strategic.

I'm a guy who's going to be going on his first date in a really long time and we're going to be grabbing dinner together

My question is, do people usually split the bill on the first date or should the guy cover it?

>>18011987
Make sure that you have enough to cover it.

>>18011987
Cover it. If she offers to pay half, tell her it's your treat and she can take you out some other time. Obviously don't pick some place where the food is 50$ each.

Nothing wrong with splitting, it's most fair and most practical, but just does not give off a warm or festive vibe for a first date. Not splitting itself, let alone puzzling on who got what and how much which person ate of that and adding numbers.

>>18011976
Well I consider myself a fairly withdrawn person. It takes me ages to overcome that stage of uncertainty where I feel it is even justified to admit my feelings to myself, so when I do feel it's worth a shot I want to be able to say up front what my intentions are instead of teasing and implying. That doesn't mean I am going to hold them down because THIS MUST WORK NOW, if it doesn't work at that stage it doesn't work, but I hate doing shit "just because", I wanna have a goal.

How to get my boyfriend to want to bang me?
LDR, going down in 2 months to see him and the last time I went we barely had sex. He says he doesnt see it as a big deal in the relationship and that his sex drive is pretty low. I have to start it, I dont know what else I can do. Its making me feel shitty like he doesnt like my body, he says the only reason is because he doesnt feel like it and it has nothing to do with me.

No he isnt cheating. I know someone will say he is but if you knew him you'd understand that he really isnt cheating on me.

Do Western guys like girls with foreign accents? Like you can't pinpoint where she's from?

I feel a bit insecure about mine because it's just a really weird mix and people always comment on it, so just wondering

>>18012002
Just a personal input here:
i don't care as much about your pronounciation as your vocabulary. if you can articulate yourself well and precise, I wouldn't mind an accent as long as it doesn't make you barely intelligible.

If your accent is so strong it is noticeable but people still understand you fine, I don't see an issue.

>>18011993
It doesn't, but you don't have control over how it's perceived by someone else. Not in the last place because how she perceives it will have a lot to do with her own history and personality, more so than with how you worded it or whether you should've waited one week more or less.

For example, I've actually been in that position as well. The fastest it ever took me to develop feelings for someone was five months (seeing each other all the time because we were classmates). It happens often that guys who ask me out try to set themselves apart by really driving home how much they're into me. But someone telling me "I haven't liked anyone else this much in a long time" or "I feel like I'm one date away from falling in love with you" when we have talked a handful of times, given my own background and snail pace of infatuation development - that's fucking terrifying. Not because I think they will be disappointed that I don't immediately reciprocate, but because it feels like I can't get enough oxygen just picturing months of dating someone and waiting to see if we click and I like them or not and potentially having to tell them after all that effort that nope, it's not happening. No way, I'll just straight up tell them to try someone else.

Once again, I can be like this as well and I 100% understand why people do it. I respect it. I respect that they are simply being frank about their feelings (at least in some cases, obviously some exaggerate as well), but I cannot consciously help feeling that there's an expectation either. I can't force myself at will to relax and go with the flow and see what happens.

However I do think there's some potential left. Eg I think telling a girl something like "you caught my eye in class, I think you're a really great girl" is equally enthusiastic but still different from professing feelings (that are developing).

>18012002
To be honest, it has been my impression that girls like accents more than guys do.

>>18012009
And you can make it clear that you are looking to date seriously, to see if it's going to be a LTR, and you're not interested in dating for any other sake. There's tons of women who would be so relieved to know that that's going on, who are sick of casual stuff.

But if you say that you need to have a goal... I think the above could help a bit to provide more clarity, but social interaction by definition is really hard to define like that. You can make small talk with someone for the longest time just because, and suddenly fall in love with that person. Or be offered a job by them.
You never know what happens between you and another person, now or in the future. That's both the beauty and the frustration of it.

>>18012006
Yeah I'm fluent in English. Some people said they can't fully understand me but most of them do

>>18012009
I can proudly confirm I have left the stage of "YOU MUST BE M'LADY" confession behind when I was in high school. It's literally about "I like you", not "I love you", not "I wanna fuck you so bad your snot shoots out of your nose", just "I like you" and maybe "I wanna see you more often". That's about it. I mean it's technically still vague enough I suppose, so they can think it's nothing serious, but at least it's sending a clear message of affection.

>>18012014
might be very well that I'm going about this all wrong, but a relationship for me is to build something. Whether it's pursuing the good old "have kid, build house, plant tree", or a simple "let's become closer as individuals and make a place we want to be for the two of us", doesn't matter, but I don't want to stumble into a relationship because I didn't want to be alone one day and we just didn't bother to say our goodbyes.

>>18012036
My bad, I took telling her you like it not as straight up telling her you love her but being firmer than showing enthusiasm. Eg "I really like you and want to see where this leads".

If it's literally that, I wouldn't worry about it. I feel like a lot of those player guides like to exaggerate the kind of power you have by presenting yourself a certain way - like how most of them promise you can get almost any girl if you're smooth enough. No, a large part is chance, compatibility, her side of the story. But it motivates guys more to feel like they're in charge of everything and just have to get it right and then it'll all work out.

I don't doubt that there's grey area instances where a girl who was on the fence might have leaned towards giving it a shot if you weren't as fast with telling her that you like her. But generally I'd say, if that does it then there wasn't real potential to begin with. Isn't the very implication of asking someone out that you take a liking to them?

>be footfag
>can't see if she has pretty feet since the start
Footfagness is suffering... ;_;

>>18012002
Indifferent, assuming I can understand what shes saying. On the flipside, familiarity makes that easier.

>>18012001
Low libido is low libido. Aside from playing with whatever kinks he may have, I dont see much you can do.

>>18012048
Move somewhere warm you fucking degenerate

>>18012037
I actually thought just saying "I like you" would already show some enthusiasm, but that's also because I'm not native english. Literal translation of how I would say it is "You appeal to me", and the literal translation of "I like you" is pretty much considered a variation of "I love you" in my language.

In general, yes, I guess I would like to show a bit more enthusiasm than just "Yeah, let's add eachother on Facebook then never actually stay in touch", but I'm aware of overdoing it so a plain "I like you" seems the right approach, or any equivalent like "I fancy you".

Matter of fact my last love interest (crush) didn't realise it. I said "Let's meet for a drink!" and she thought it was just a chillout get-together. Granted, she was crushing hard on somebody else at the time so chances are she didn't realise my affection because she was blindsided by her own emotions.

I usually expect the other party to be oblivious until they say otherwise.

>>18012062
It does, I mistakenly took you mentioning the "I like you" as a general description of the stuff you say. The example I gave ("I really like you and want to see where this is going") was to illustrate what would be a tad TOO enthusiastic to do right away in my book. Not just saying you like her by itself, that's fine.
French?

It also depends on how (well) you know her. If this is a girl you had classes with for some time, you heard her comment on course material a bunch, you made some small talk, have an idea of her sense of humor... That's different from her being a girl you literally only know from seeing her around. But generally I do agree that just plain "I like you" is a good level of enthusiasm.

Ah, yes, I can see how that would happen. Maybe (especially if you're not actually that sure of the girl yet but want a chance to talk to her more elaborately) rephrase it more like "can I take you out for drinks/can I treat you to a drink some time"? But you're very right that being infatuated makes people overthink those interactions a lot less.

>>18012002
>Do Western guys like girls with foreign accents? Like you can't pinpoint where she's from?

Depends on what you mean by "Western".

Americans? It depends on what part of the country mostly. Most coastal populations won't give a fuck, but the middle America's will care more.

Western Europe? It again depends. This ones a bit more complex because of all the random immigration/refuge/etc shit that's been going down as of late, which means as a whole, "foreigners" are a lot more common, and so there are pretty polarized opinions on them and your appearance will factor in more.

>>18012001
>How to get my boyfriend to want to bang me?
If he's low sex drive, nothing you can really do.

There are TONS of guys who are exactly in your shoes about their girlfriends. They can't do shit either.

Thems the breaks.

>>18011966
>Now when I cleaned I found a list, which could be her list of people she has slept with but I am not entirely sure.

Wtf? Do people keep ACTUAL, LITERAL lists on paper for that kind of shit? Who the fuck?

...

i'm not sure if it's weirder that you think this is a legitimate possibility, or if it turned out it actually WAS one, and she just had it laying around...

>>18011867
>I'm a girl going on my first date ever... Any tips on how to get around this and make it a fun date?

Ask about things that you're genuinely interested in.
Talk to him about the things you find fun and enjoy
Try to make some dumb joke or situation to get yourself to laugh (Genuine--from your gut--laughter is the one emotion that instantly erases all feeling of anxiety, nervousness, self-consciousness, etc, and gets you to eaisly relax).
Don't over think things and just go out to enjoy yourself.

>>18012074
Swiss-German

>>18012084
Ahh shit, German I can still get around (ich mag du vs ich liebe dich?) but Swiss German is witchcraft to me.

>>18012091
>mag du
*mag dich

My former German teacher would be disappointed in me.

>>18012096
Well it would be
"Ich ha Di gärn" (I have a liking to you) which is commonly considered close to a "Ich lieb Di" (I love you).

I would say "Du gfallsch mir" (You appeal to me) when I was trying to show affection on a more grounded level.

"Ich mag Di" (I like you) would be in-between but still leaning towards "I love you".

>>18012117
Nice, thanks man. I'm a Dutchie so it is still recognizable to me when I say it out loud.

>>18012124
You're welcome famalamarinodingino-diddely-doo.

(Dutch is the most beautiful language on this planet and I want a Gelderlandish qt to whisper "Goede Dag" in my ear while I cum)

>>18011966
Why would you think that's what the list of names means?

>>18012147
Even better to hear that someone thinks my beloved language sounds pretty for once :) Have a nice day and enjoy your unsurpassed scenery.

>>18012162
Not much scenery right now, it's proper Swiss winter weather which means
>Gray in gray with a bit of gray

But thank you very much! Have a pleasant day, as well, dutchfriend!

>>18012001
You really need to break this from your self esteem. Him not wanting to have sex DOES NOT mean that he doesn't think you're sexy. That isn't how sex drives work! Sex is something that is deeply ingrained in our instincts. There are tons of signals going on that either say- "DO IT, HAVE THE SEX" or "Not right now, our energies could be used elsewhere" We don't really fully understand the entire process of why people do and do not want sex.

You are under the impression that all men want sex all the time. For earlier in our species, that was more important- to be opportunistic, to make a baby at the slightest possibility. That isn't really important any more, is it? In fact, there are some serious disadvantages to having a baby with a particular woman. With homo sapiens having a mate for such an extended period of time, there isn't an urgent pressure to fertilize right away.

Now societally, we use sex as a method to be intimate with our loved one. I hope that you can see now how, evolutionarily, it isn't surprising that this would be more or less important to different people in our species.

Particularly because you are in a long distance relationship, the majority of your intimacy is through speaking to one another. You have established that as your main form as being close. I'm not surprised that your boyfriend isn't as motivated from sex when his intimacy needs are already being met.

>>18012002
West coast USA here. It's pretty standard that all the girls swoon over men with accents around here. It also depends on what kind of accent, though.

one of my friends is a workaholic and rarely has time to hang out

i feel needy almost always being the one to text her and ask her if she wants to do anything, but she's told me she doesn't have any other friends here and that i should keep doing it

is she just saying that to stop me from feeling like she doesn't value our friendship?

for what it's worth, she's texted me to hang out a couple times before, last time i texted her was telling her when i've got free time between classes this semester, and she never responded to that

>join dating site
>talk to a QT
>didn't message too many girls, had a few dead end conversations
>this one kept going
>eventually start feeling a little bit awkward for just getting on this site to talk to one girl, since the others didn't really interest me
>mention to her I was going to get off this site, but I liked her and would like to continue talking to her
>leave my number in that message
>leave account on for a few days
>no response
>delete account
>still no response.

So, I guess she just wasn't into me, or something? The dating site wasn't really my scene anyway, so probably for the best.

>>18012201
Here's what I'm doing lately:
It is the other person's responsibility to be honest about how they feel. If I ask them a question about how they feel, I am going to treat it as real, because they have no leg to stand on if they feel the opposite way.

If someone says something like that, it's likely that she's at least in the range of being okay with it. If she really DIDN'T like it, then she could have just said, "It's fine, don't worry about it" But she went the extra mile to say, "Hey, not only is it okay, I actually LIKE it. I am alone and need someone to reach out to me. Keep doing this."

It is her responsibility to be honest. I relate with you, I also feel like a burden a lot of the time. I do try to limit myself a little bit into reasonable levels, but I'm trying to make a point to not completely stop.

Recognize that you are likely to second guess yourself due to your self esteem. Don't let it get in the way of a friendship.

I lost several close friends because I "tested" them. I stopped being the one to contact them, and see if they reached out to me. Months passed and they did not. I approached them, on the verge of tears, asking why they didn't talk to me.
I was the one who had changed, so they thought that it was ME who didn't want to be with THEM.
We never really recovered from that stint.
Don't make my mistake.

>>18012270
it's the part where she didn't respond when i let her know of when i'm free that's got me second guessing myself right now
like should i assume she'll let me know when her free time lines up with mine, or did she not respond because she's always busy when i'm free?

also i almost never see her on the weekends, and that almost has me worried that she thinks i'm looking for more than friendship (to be fair, that was true once, but now is not), and that she's declining to hang out because she's not interested in anything more

Girls and guys

Why is it that if a guy turns down sex he's labeled a faggot, even if he's actually straight?

I went to the bar with some co-workers last night. This really cute girl was flirting with me for quite a while, and kept dropping big hints she wanted sex. Like, "I don't really want to be alone at my apartment tonight... it's cold there..." well, ignored those advances, and all of my co-workers have been acting strange around me since. One even asked me if I'm gay.

Why do guys get this treatment, but if a girl turns down sex it's no big fucking deal?

I ugly from taiwang and husband cheat me halp wat do?

>>18012444
It's mainly the people you're with. There are groups of girls out there who will push other girls into sex and shame them for being a "prude" if they don't want to.

Some people are just assholes.

>>18012468

I'm a guy and one of my female friends told me I'm crazy because I don't have sex

How do I not lose my boyfriend? Should I give lots of sex or make him work for it? Should I act distant or clingy?

>>18012625
Just b urself.

But no, that's a thing where you need to be honest with each other. Talk to him.

Can you give us more to work with?

Do guys hate being called cute?

There's a guy I recently met and we're going to go out and all, and while I'm not gonna call him any of that soon I do really find him adorable. I am sexually attracted to him but even so I heard men take the phrase the wrong way?

My bf's nails are pissing me off. They grow fast and I can't stand of seeing male nails longer than 1mm. I don't know maybe it's because there are 2 manicur proffesionals in my family or what but I think men without outgrowing parts of nails look well kept and nice. I told him several times how I don't like it, he says 'I cut my nails once in a week and that's enough' or 'I work in office so I don't have to cut my nails more often'. I even suggested to cut his nails by myself. He doesn't want to. Okay, that's his nails and he can do whatever he wants with it, but how can I trick him to cut them more often?
Picrelated is about this size.

>>18012625
>How do I not lose my boyfriend?

You're asking the wrong question.

In fact the question you're asking kind of speaks to a very flawed mentality.

A boyfriend/girlfriend is not a possession or an object.

It is not a bonus, add on, reward, or a pet that can be "lost", "won", "gained" or whatever else. Nor can you manipulate your way in to keeping one (you can try in the very short term, but it will always eventually blow up in your face).

That is the exact wrong way to think of it.

A bf/gf/wife/husband/whatever is a partner.

A partner is someone you share things with.
It is a symbiotic relationship where two, fully self-sufficient individuals collaborate and share to create something greater than what they could have alone.

If you want your relationship to work, you need to be someone who can stand on their own two feet first, it's only after that you can really start to contribute towards the give and take that is a relationship on equal grounds--without it having it disrupt your own balance.

The important part of a relationship is that "give and take" if one side is doing too much of one or the other, that creates an imbalance that throws everything out of whack and eventually causes it to fail.

Not everyone can strike the balance. In fact most can't. That is a reality of life, and that's why you have to keep trying with different people 'til you find someone with whom you can.

>>18012482
>I'm a guy and one of my female friends told me I'm crazy because I don't have sex

You missed other anon's point. They know you're a guy. It's in your post. His point was even girls say it to girls.

Remember you SPECIFICALLY asked why guys get shit talked for it, so their point is: it's not just guys. Some people are just assholes.

Girls I have a question

I've invited this girl on a date , but the thing is we barely talk to each other. I prefer talking in person that's why I dont text her as much. But when I do she often takes an awful lot to reply to my texts. I often take between 1 hour or 2 because of work or school. Should I keep the date or should I cancel? What do I do?

File: Naked nails 1.jpg (110KB, 1600x1200px) Image search: [Google]

110KB, 1600x1200px

>>18012682
Forgot the pic

>>18012688
Looks like a woman's hand.

>>18012693
Yeah, I found it on google, I just wanted to show the length which is irritating me.

>>18012682
You're going to have to emphasize how much that it matters to you, because your bf obviously doesn't know or doesn't give a crap. I think it's weird that he is defending himself to you even when you offered to cut them, like he wants to have long nails for some reason. Maybe tell him that you don't like long nails because they look feminine (nuclear option) or tell him that they scratch you when you're intimate.

>>18012678
>Do guys hate being called cute?

Eh. As a guy who's been called "sweet" by literally every girl I've ever dated and "cute" more times than I can count...

I will say it's kind of... meh. I mean it's not like it's unflattering or feels disgusting to be called cute, but on a scale of 1 to 10... where 1 is being called repulsive and 10 is being called gods gift on earth or something, it's like a 7?

There are things I'd rather be called, but it's not like like I cringe inside every time I hear it or whatever--especially coming from someone who I find attractive.

But the tone probably has something to do with it, and it might also be different if the guy has self confidence issues (like if he's got some weird Napoleonic complex going on. And given that this is 4chan, that's not too rare on here. Do NOT assume more guys are like this. Remember this place can be an echo chamber of insecurity.)

>>18012682
>My bf's nails are pissing me off.

You are being unreasonable here. Doubly so if you're trying to "trick" him in to doing something about it. I completely understand having pet peeves, but heads up: your threatening climbing in to crazy and controlling territory...

There's a bit of cognitive dissonance going on if you're saying "Whatever he can do what he wants" and "but how do i trick him in to it" in the same sentence... Recognize that and avoid going start going down that slippery slope.

Talk to him honestly about it, and if he doesn't want to change, it sucks, but tough shit. Don't impact your own mental health and compromise yourself by doing some shady shit that makes you a crazy person--especially over something relatively trivial.

>Don't impact your own mental health and compromise yourself by doing some shady shit that makes you a crazy person--especially over something relatively trivial.
Well, I tried to mention it 2 or 3 times, sometimes jokingly and sometimes honestly. And last time he got all mad "I already told my position". And I stopped and thought well it's really not a big deal. But what if it's still bigging me and...

fuck.

I think I'm projecting these nails onto something bigger which happened recently and left unsolved between us. Now I know what about I want to tell him, thanks!

>>18012723
So what kind of compliments make you feel real good?

>>18012732
>I think I'm projecting these nails onto something bigger which happened recently and left unsolved between us. Now I know what about I want to tell him, thanks!

A common forgotten rule of thumb for human actions is:

We are all motive driven individuals. Behind even the most seemingly unreasonable action, somewhere lies buried a reasonable one.

It's actually a pretty good self-reflective tool when you can spot when you can stop, look at yourself, ask: "Am I being crazy here? Yes? Well what's ACTUALLY driving that?".

Best of luck!


>>18012735
>So what kind of compliments make you feel real good?

Getting called "hot" is sliightly better than getting called "cute" I guess (at this point, I'm in my late 20's so I've long since stopped given a damn really lol. When I was younger I still liked hearing it though), but better than both of those are the non-superficial complements that actually recognize and bring attention to something that I obviously hold dear, and pride myself in.

By complementing those, you're not just validating some superficial surface thing that I have no control over, but directly complimenting the choices I've made and who I am as a person.

That's human nature, and the true secret to flattery ;p

But in your case, calling him "cute" is fine. You probably don't know him well enough to say more yet and honestly, even if you do, sometimes being TOO sincere is a problem; especially with complements that are personal because people just aren't used to them (Might sound bad, but I got in to bit of trouble when I was younger because I just didn't realize, "Oh hey, if I say shit like that, people think I'm a lot more interested than I actually am--I was just trying to be nice and trying to flirt...")

Cute for now, and you can also try personal and sincere if you want, but whatever you chose, just be appropriate to what your situation and level of involvement is.

If you just barely know each other, mostly stick to the surface stuff.

>>18012687
Cut all contact.

Girls: What do you think about beards? Especially big, bushy ones.

Guys: Same question.

>>18012829
Beards are amazing if they are well-kept.
A huge, bushy beard is a turn off. A nice, groomed beard is a turn on.
You want to look like Ben Affleck, not like Al Baghdadi.

>>18012829
Not a big fan of them. I can appreciate how they look if they suit you, but I don't like how they feel.

I'm a 21 year old virgin who's never had a fuckbuddy in my life but now I've suddenly got 2 of them.
I suppose fuckbuddy is not the correct term since it's strictly hands only, but uh idk what the correct protocol on this is.
Neither of these dudes know about the other one, this hasn't been happening very long I just realized I'm not sure if I'm supposed to tell them I'm seeing other people sexually?
Because they've both said to me explicitly they aren't looking for a relationship, so we all know what our connections are. I just don't know if it's just assumed in these kinds of situations you're fucking potentially thousands of other people at the same time, or if you're supposed to tell them it's not just them?
I've just been assuming they're fucking other girls.
And since we're not exchanging fluids or anything the risk of me passing an std to either of them is pretty low.
Do I tell them "Uh btw there's another guy I'm jerking off semi regularly" or is that just assumed?

>TL;DR
When you have multiple fwbs who are aware and agreed this is indeed a fwb situation and nothing else, is the polite thing to do to tell them about how many other people you're seeing on top of them, or is it just assumed?

God I'm so new to this all.

>>18012829
Aesthetically, I find rarely a dude can pull them off, but when they do it is rather appealing.

However practically they're awful. Good god I made out with this guy once with the sexiest stubble, but fuck my face was so beard burned raw after that. I imagine it would have been horrible if he went down on me.
Maybe if you can pull off the full beard it would be better, but idk.

>>18012829
>What do you think about beards? Especially big, bushy ones.

I have a beard.
I keep it trimmed and neat.

90% of the time, big bushy beards are pretty gross.

>>18012842
>I'm a 21 year old virgin who's never had a fuckbuddy in my life but now I've suddenly got 2 of them.

The whole point of no strings attached relationships is, there are no strings attached.

Either stop trying to make strings, or decide that you want relationship where those exist.

>>18012874
I was just asking lol, I'm not trying to make relationships out of guys who have specifically made the point to say "I'm not going to date you".
I was just wondering if it was normal to disclose the fact you're seeing other people, or how many or whatever, for safety purposes if anything, or if we just kind of ignore that fact.

Like, if I were swapping fluids with these dudes, I might want to know if they're seeing like, 40 other women or something just so I can be aware that the likelyhood of him contracting something is monumentally higher so I should take more care when banging him. If he's only fucking a couple other people, then I can be a little less cautious. I wouldn't care or tell him to stop fucking these other people though, it's just for my own safety.

Thats the kind of scenario I'm thinking of, is this a normal line of thinking when it comes to casual sex, or is it just expected to throw all care to the wind?

>>18012829
I've always wanted to grow a beard since I was young but I agree with other posts, it has to be well groomed. Bushy or scraggly beards are becoming way too common. The unfortunate thing about nice groomed beards is it takes a while to grow one.

>>18012889
>Thats the kind of scenario I'm thinking of, is this a normal line of thinking when it comes to casual sex, or is it just expected to throw all care to the wind?

The vast majority of people throw caution to the wind and either think "Nah, it probably won't happen to me" or just kind of don't give a fuck and the thought that they should be cautious never occurs to them. Without even having to ask other people, the tangible proof of this is: if they gave a fuck, STD's probably wouldn't exist.

This is doubly true for FWB's.

On top of that, people lie.

The best policy is to always protect yourself, no matter what you do.

If you want to ask, go ahead and ask--no ones ever going to resent you for you looking out for yourself-- but you should be assuming that they are anyway, and protect yourself accordingly.

Women

What do you think of MGTOW as well as the manosphere?

>>18013077
And I should point out that there are two different subjects, though not exactly separate

>have this friend, she qt
>all my friends wanna bang
>kissed two of my friends years ago
>get really close to her
>fast forward to this summer
>go out with her and some friends (mine and hers)
>get a bit drunk, kiss her a few times but not making out with her
>she leaves for 6 months, comes at start of year
>fast forward to last week
>go out, made out with her (both a bit drunk)
>her friend tells me she thinks im handsome and she speaks of me sometimes (in a good way)
>she leaves again for 4 months, till summer
wat do, should i try again and test luck when she comes
should i play the "not too interested, but dont mind" card?
id like to have an affair with her but no gf, shes moving out after summer for work

>>18011127
I'm a virgin girl who never had a boyfriend or dates or anything and I'm going on a first date with a guy I met at the pub.

So yeah, I think realistically you just have to be lucky.

Or convert to Islam and travel to a strict Islamic country and find a waifu, your pick

Girls, need your outlook. But first, some quick backstory.

Met a canadian over tinder when she was on holiday here in southern europe, we fucked and formed a good friendship. We talk frequently and she gives me dating tips sometimes.

So a few days ago I tell her I'm dating this one girl I hope to get serious with eventually and she tells me to ease up on the dirty talk when/if we get to have sex. She said out of all the guys she's been with, I am the biggest talker. She said it's inherently misogynistic because its male dominated. She also said that she liked it anyway because she is very submissive in bed, but I should be careful in case this new girl isn't into that.

Now, I think this is largely bullshit. It's not my fault if every girl I met likes being dominated in bed, a little bit of hairpulling and loves it fast and hard. If a girl goes all "YEAH FUCK ME ARGH!" on me and dominates me (which I have no problem with), would that be misandrist?

I ask you if there's any truth to this, partly for my own curiosity and also so I don't risk fucking up my chances. This girl has already hinted at liking being talked dirty to by the way.

On a side note, she's only fucked canadians, so is her not being used to a man being mildly forceful a sign the men over there are kinda soft?

>>18012829
I have a bigass one I usually have to keep wild for roles (I'm an actor). I do trim it when I have a quiet period and my success with women has been kindof mixed. Most local girls hate it because the trend is fuccbois, but I have ok success with tourists. It's also very important to wash it with the proper beard products, it'll keep it really springy and soft. Every girl I've made out with or went down on commented my beard is better than others because it doesn't really hurt or obstruct. Keep your moustache from going over your lips.

In general, beards will pidgeonhole your efforts, but obviously you'll attract a lot of beard lovers who will boost your confidence by saying shit like how you look so fucking manly and rugged.

Girls, do you prefer your bf to be more or less intelligent than you?

>>18013269
>Girls, do you prefer your bf to be more or less intelligent than you?
As intelligent as me, ideally. More intelligent than me, if I have to choose.

Relationship clueless here. I just went to dinner with my friend and she seemed receptive. We didn't get to set a time for a second date down but she definitely wanted to do it again. When is too soon to text her for a second date? Also, any dating advice from any gender is appreciated

>>18013269
Same level, or slightly above. I don't want to feel like I'm retarded compared to him though

>>18013269
Yeah another vote for same or slightly above, especially if it's in areas like math, computers, technology, etc.

>general question
Been dating a girl for around a month, roses for valentines day, Yes or No?

>>18013077
I don't know about the manosphere, but MGTOW is both a symptom of and a purporter of the broken family and gender relations that are literally degenerate to society, much like feminism.

>>18012829
I've said this before, but the Romans got it right. Short hair and clean shaven is best, fuck Hadrian for having to ruin it.

>>18013356
Ye

>>18013356
Very cute, would be a happy girl if my bf got me roses.
Just don't think flowers excuses you from the date lol. Quality time > material gifts always, but they are added bonus's.

>>18013378
>Just don't think flowers excuses you from the date lol.
Why would someone want to skip a date, especially after only being together for a month

>>18013389
Who knows, knowing 4chan though there might be someone lol.

>>18012678
The context is important.

I've been called cute in a good way, by girls who are into me, and it's definitely intended as a compliment.

But cute can also be used the wrong way. It can sometimes come across like "it's so adorable that you're trying because there's no way in hell I'm interested."

Guys,

How much do you care if a girl has pubes?

I really don't want to remove my hair, it sounds painful and the one time I trimmed it a bit it was really itchy. But I'm also worried about the day a man sees me naked.

Is it really such a big deal? I myself don't expect a man to shave, I think I would prefer it if he kept all of it.

I also grew up reading some old comic books which had drawings of naked women with a full bush, I think that's why I myself feel it's sexier if people are hairy down there.

>>18013429
The answer to this is very much a personal preference thing.

I have a very strong preference for no pubic hair on women, but I would also never /expect/ a girl I was with to remove it. If I were in a relationship with the hypothetically full-bushed woman it's something that I might bring up eventually, either as the idea of trying out shaving/waxing/whatever, or at least trimming it.

And that's mostly down to it being what I find more attractive. Grew up with too much porn etc etc but there's nothing I can really do to change that now, so the preference is fairly set in stone.

Secondarily it's also way more pleasant to go down on a girl with minimal/no hair. One of the reasons I keep my own pubic hair trimmed very short is because I know my girlfriend would rather not have to floss with my short and curlies.

Up to you. Probably not too hard to find a guy who actively prefers a full bush - they definitely exist - and anyway depliation anywhere on the body is your prerogative.

Guys:

Why don't I ever get asked out, hit on, or even catcalled? I'm
>not ugly
>not fat
>not an unpleasant person to be around

and for some reason guys exclusively treat me like a friend. I've even had people say that I have a "bro-tier personality".

at what number of dates turn into relationship?

>>18013449
After you ask them.

>>18013429

I for one don't care at all about it.

I dont like a jungle but trimmed and kept is just fine.

>prefer a man to keep all of it

Really? Because the average flacid dick would be pretty close to engulfed by it fully grown..

>>18013453
so until I ask a girl formally, it's anything goes?

>>18013446

Probably the way you dress and your body language.

No sexual flaunting, no inviting body language, maybe even something in your personality says "Im not into you".

Thats my guess knowing absolutely nothing about you.

Also i dont know many guys who cat call (and i work in construction) and i always wonder if thats a demographic thing that doesnt happen everywhere. The rest could be totally happening to you and youre missing it because you dont know what to look for (and as a result you unintentionally stone wall guys). Thats also just a guess.

>>18013446
>I've even had people say that I have a "bro-tier personality".

There's your answer. And it's almost always intended as a compliment.

Just because men and women have different priorities it can make it difficult to understand each other on a strictly platonic level. Especially as a guy women tend to make a big deal out of finding our interests and problems pretty uninteresting. So a bro-tier girl is usually one who, in some way, shares our interests and empathizes with our problems in a way that isn't really common.

A bro-tier girl isn't even necessarily undesirable, you just have to also be able to separate yourself from that bro-zone. How you do that depends on the guy you want to go after. If it's someone you're already close with then you probably will just have to be direct and state your interest or ask him out. If it's someone you're just meeting then you can be a bro but draw that line that makes it clear you are also a girl.

>>18013460
Yes and no.. If you care about each other and youre aware of each others feelings there is a point it goes without saying being unexclusive is a totally dick move.

I dont think enough people get that these days

>>18013460
Read the situation. If she's really into you with only 3 dates under your belt then she is definitely going to be pissed if she finds out you've been seeing other girls at the same time no matter what arguments you make about not being explicitly exclusive.

If she's having fun but not that into you then you might be able to assume that anything goes.

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>>18013429
>How much do you care if a girl has pubes?

Not that much.

Personally I do prefer a little trimmed though, just because it's a bit neater for activities.

>>18013356
>Been dating a girl for around a month, roses for valentines day, Yes or No?

Yes. Though if you want to save some money and not be as predictable, a bouquet/arrangement of her favorite flower is probably better.

Head's up. 2 dozen roses will set you back $10 wholesale right now. In 2 weeks, that will be $25-$35+. That means your arrangement will probably be $40=50+

I.E. If her favorite is Calla Lillies, the wholesale price for something like pic related:
$7 for the Calla Lilies
$3 for the Ti leaf
$2 for the reed

None of those change in prices. That's a pretty easy arrangement to do and you'll be able to do 2 or 3 of them (or you could just make it bigger).

It will take you like 15 minutes to figure out how to do (like 2 minutes if you know what you're doing), and will probably impress the shit out of her.

Or hell, even throwing a bunch or two tulips in a vase would work (like $6-8 + whatever for the vase)

But then, I basically do flowers for a living (wholesale), so w/e.

>>18013446
>Why don't I ever get asked out, hit on, or even catcalled?

Without a picture, and without actually being in front of you and talking to you, hard to say.

>>18013449
>at what number of dates turn into relationship?

When you've had "the talk".
Good rule of thumb in relationships:
Don't take shit for granted.

>>18013242
Any girl on this please?

My ex won't give me my shit back. She already has everything I paid half for, but still has some stuff of sentimental value. She says I need to apologize for calling her a whore. It was a WELL deserved reaction from my part. Trust me on that.
No way in hell would I apologize, and I'm pretty sure the cops will take her side because she's the best manipulator I have ever come across.
What do?

>>18013467
>>18013472

I've only been with her once so far and not seeing other girl (slept together on first date). I like her company but I just don't see anything long term with her, and she is looking for long term. So I feel bad for stringing along.

>>18013456
I've never seen a guy's dick irl but when I look at pictures of men with pubes it doesn't bother me

>>18013485
projecting her personal preferences and ideaology.
The only thing that's universal in good sex is good communication. Try whatever you want out with your gf, ask her what she's into, ask her what she's absolutely against. Don't make any assumptions based on what one frothing at the mouth feminist says.

>>18013485
It's sound advice. Might be okay for someone you're just hooking up with to just come out with being dominate in bed because if they didn't enjoy it they don't ever have to see you again. In a relationship though you want to make sure that both partners are enjoying themselves. Better to find out first if she is into the same things as you are than to go straight to hair pulling and dirty talk and have her not enjoy it and decide that you aren't the person she wants a relationship with.

>>18013487
>do you legally own the property
>yes
>the cops will take your side in retrieving it

>>18013488
So don't string her along. Tell her that you like her but aren't interested in anything long-term. If she moves on then she moves on.

>>18013487
Call cops anyway. If you have solid proof it's yours no crocodile tears will save her.

Give up/let it go

Break in when she's out and take it back, risk her calling the cops on you.

Apologize just for the sake of getting your shit back, and then as you're leaving say "Btw you're a fucking whore lol bye"

>>18013499
>>18013500
Thank you. You're both right. I make sex almost completely about the girl because that's how I also enjoy myself. Pleasing a girl sexually makes me feel great, so no problem there.

>have her not enjoy it and decide that you aren't the person she wants a relationship with.
This hit hard, because I had a thing going with an amazing girl that this kind of sex might've been a big nail in the coffin with and it's been at the back of my mind for months.

I'm all for communication, I've actually been told by several girls they enjoy me being so considerate in bed while at the same time having that power dynamic. I guess I'm doing something right..

Right this is a virginity related one but I'm kinda looking for a recommendation.

21/m, just got /fit/ and suddenly I've now got female attention. Problem is its always one-night stands or people who aren't really looking for more than a dicking, which is fine, but I'm just super insecure about that being my first time.

Not sure whether I should just go for it and have an embarassing first time with someone I don't really care about or wait til I find someone I'm comfortable with.

Fuck

>>18013516
Also never really sure how to respond to sexual advances, I've spent most of my life completely fine with being an unattached virgin but recent drastic changes in my life made me reevaluate.

Its not that I can't talk to women, its that I can't really express sexual attraction.

>>18013516
You should wait

>>18013529
Initially thats what I thought but I lack experience in general, which I mean can be alright but it also means whoever sticks about would have to be hugely patient with me both emotionally and physically.

>>18013540
Someone who is looking for a relationship will be patient by definition. Sex is important in a serious relationship but it's also only one part of a whole. A girl who actually likes you will put up with little things like being inexperienced in bed.

>>18013549
My female friends tell me this all the time but this has been bugging me because I can't tell the difference between romantic attraction and friendship.
I was super into this girl in my course but she was never interested in me in that way.
But she also revealed that another girl we worked with was, but I just never picked up on it because inexperienced dipshit.

>>18013555
Welcome aboard the train dude. There's not exactly a rule of thumb for telling the difference between attraction and friendliness because everyone behaves differently.

>>18013516

I'm a male anon who waited until 24 to lose his virginity.

I actually even did it on purpose because I wanted to wait for the "right person".

Finally met her when I was 23 (first girl I honestly fully fell for and opened myself out to). except it kind of fell apart and didn't happen. So the next year I pretty much decided fuck it, and just slept with literally the next girl I went out with, becuase she seemed interested, and I was just like, "Eh, might as well see what's this is all about".

It was pretty bad and kind of confirmed why I waited.

I slept with a few more girls after that (including a being FWB's for a little bit with my best friend)

In retrospect, that first time was particularly awful, and it had a lot to do with the mentality I was in.

None of my experiences were particularly good until I met someone I truly wanted to do it with (like with my best friend, we objectively find each other attractive, but don't really have attractive chemistry... We started sleeping together mostly because were just both bored, drunk, and horny. So the sex felt just meh) but that first one... that one was kind of soul suckling empty and made me feel just so fucking hollow because of the fact that I did it not really wanting to do it in the first place.

Do it if you want to. But if you don't, don't.

>>18013540
>>18013555
Having a fling/one night stand won't help you learn about romantic relationships or even about sex really. One encounter with one girl won't really tell you much at all when it comes to sex with a completely different girl.

>>18013570
Thanks, I'm well aware trying to just lose your virginity for the sake of it will lead to a bad time. I'm just kinda starved for physical affection.

>>18013571
I know but it'd be more than the nothing I'm used to.
I just feel like I've missed a ton of growth and trial-error.

>>18013576
Femanon in the same boat, but for slightly different reasons.

Personally, I've given into having casual "3rd base" buddies to stave off the crippling loneliness and sexual starvation. It's helped, though I will admit I'm starting to give up on the fantasy that anyone will ever want me as a gf, so I might just cave and fuck them anyway.
But you might try that. Hold off on the big show, but do some shit with others casually. Build up

>>18013585
I don't think so at all. Plenty of people wait until their 20s to even start dating and many are only ever with one partner. Honestly, they often have the greatest relationship success. I think the "experience" thing is a meme.

>>18013516
If you're on here asking this question you're the kind of person that should wait.

For both girls and guys:

How highly do you prize cooking skills in your significant other?

>>18013605
Moderately.
Like don't fuck up basic shit. Its nice if you can cook a really nice meal, but ultimately its not something too bothered about.
I like cooking myself though because I can have fun with it and tailor it to my tastes.

>>18013605
Eh, would be nice but I don't particularly care one way or another. He should be competent enough to feed himself one way or another without burning the house down though.
Lord knows I live off lean cuisines. Not necessarily because I can't cook, I just can't be assed to do the dishes lol.

>>18013624
>I just can't be assed to do the dishes lol.
Fucking amen.
>>18013446
You're friendly and not overly sexual. Some guys love that, its just that for most they won't read it as a sexual indicator. You'll have to initiate more often because they see you as more aggressive.

>>18013605
>How highly do you prize cooking skills in your significant other?

Eh... Personally, not too crazily?

I'm a foodie. I love eating out.
I also love making my own dishes to try new things.

But literally the first time I ever cooked, I was 20, saw a risotto on TV, decided that didn't look hard and just did it.

Until then I didn't give a shit about cooking really. Still don't... except the rare time when I decide I want to try making a KBBQ burger or watermelon consomme.

I'm proooobably a better cook than my gf (to be honest, we've been together two years and she's kinda avoided cooking for me saying just that >.<), no fucks really given though.

>>18013605
It's not something I think is particularly impressive. I expect any adult to be able to cook proper meals.

>>18010961
I definitely can't agree with this. Many young guys today aren't bothering with finding a woman. The internet fulfills every need a woman can provide for them, and more. The internet also provides this service at a far more reasonable cost with less effort.

Think about how much of a pain in the ass it is to court a woman when you're a virgin. It's daunting and seems hardly worth the effort without a role model to provide the push.

I have NEVER had a problem finding a woman because I sure as shit didn't advertise myself as "pleasant baggage." I'm also happily married, 9 years into a relationship. We are mutual pillars to lean on, and life is pretty good for us atm.

If a girl rubs her ass on your crotch that's a pretty good signal that they are dtf right?

Do i have any moral responsibility to not let my friend "emotionally cheat" on her husband with me?

It's no secret that she used to have a huge crush on. We lost touch for a while, she got married, but we reconnected and have been hanging out and doing stuff together quite a lot lately.
I'm still not romantically interested in her, but i have fun hanging out with her.

>>18013776
>she used to have a huge crush on
she used to have a huge crush on me*

-I like a girl for 3 years
-she recently broke up with her boyfriend of several years
-I message her a few days later
-convo goes well and is the most we've ever really talked
-I remark about bringing her liquor because she lives in a dry county
-she responds positively
-i make banter about being able to drink a lot more than i used to
-she starts telling me to be careful and the convo dies down

Do you think she steered the convo away from us hanging out on purpose or just didn't get the hint? should I just be direct and ask if she wants to hang out?

Caught up with a girl that I like in the train station. I flat-out told her that I like her and that we should hang out some time. She wouldn't maintain eye contact the whole time, but was also smiling at the same time. I jokingly told her, if she was scared or something to go out with me, but all she would do was laugh. She did tell me, "we could do something".

My question: would you say she is interested or did she say that out of pity?

Also, I'm 24 and she's going to be 22 soon, that's not a weird age gap or anything right? For some reason, I'm afraid to say my age to her because I feel like at 24, I should've done something great by now.

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General question related with relationships, don't want to create another thread. People here tend to give straight and thorough answers.

The question is why do I keep chasing women who reject me, while I reject those who seem to be attracted to me? I know answer lies somewhere inside of me, but pattern is that I become even more attracted to women who reject me. This brings me a lot of pain yet I still can't stop.

>>18013795
I am the same way.

>>18013795

Total shot in the dark:

You probably have some deep seeded insecurity issues where you don't ACTUALLY want to succeed, and don't feel like you're someone worth being with/are scared of hurting someone/are scared of being hurt. But you still have some feeling of wanting to TRY and pretend that you can be with someone, and it's easier to do that with people who you know you have no shot with.

It's all an elaborate fantasy, because you don't feel like you can handle real things, and if you did end up succeeding, you'd probably react the same way you do with the others and just run away.

But I'm just taking shots in the dark.