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Girlfriend's car crash

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Girlfriend of 2 years recently got in accident. When I text her if she's okay, she replies "yeah"
I think the short response means she doesn't want to talk about it. I then proceed to make her happier.

Later at night, my depression kicked in. I knew she had a lot on her plate and that I would be a burden on her if she tried to help me. So I tell her I have to go and that I just can't be there for her right now. I don't reveal that I'm doing it for her sake because she wouldn't let me go otherwise.

Yesterday, she gets mad at me for seemingly no reason. Then reveals she almost died/ got hospitalized in the accident. Says she expected me to "care more" and ask if she was okay when she first brought it up. I remind her that it seemed she didn't want to talk about it and was completely happy that I cheered her up afterward.

Then tells me that I abandoned her at night (when I was feeling depressed) and acted selfishly. Calls me a liar when I tell the truth. I could have never known these things without her telling me. How am I supposed to figure out that she wanted to talk about things when she wont inform me what happened in the first place?

How do I respond to her? And is it bad that I feel less sympathy for her because of the fighting?
>>
You should have probably called her to see if she was actually okay.
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>>18003232
We never call. We just text because we both feel uncomfortable on the phone
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>>18003229
did you actually ask her "what happened"?
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>>18003237
That's autism, and now you see why it's a bad idea. You were unable to pick up on her ques because you could not hear the sound of her voice, see the emotions on her face, or otherwise read her body language at all. If you're in a relationship you should feel comfortable enough with each other to talk on the phone.
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>>18003240
She seemed like she didn't want to talk about it. I guess that's my misjudgment. She would have been completely in the right if she had told me anyway. She didn't need my permission to do that
>>
Btw, I'm sorry if I seem kind of hostile. I'm just trying to explain my point of view and the situation. Guess I'm letting my emotions get in the way
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>>18003265
yea, chicks want you to ask the who, what why, when, how questions

you must act interested, even if you are not.
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>>18003229
Do you have confirmation that she was hospitalized and the accident was really that bad?

I dated a girl with BPD and she would make up/exaggerate shit all the time for attention. Mild fender bender = "OMG baby I almost died in a car accident because you don't love me."

Not saying that's what's going on but just in case she's the type, think about whether that fits the pattern.
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>>18003294
Come to think about it, this actually reminds me a lot of fights I'd have with this girl. There's something weird as fuck about this my dude.

Does she threaten suicide a lot?
>>
Your caring about her welfare should have overrides your worry about whether she'd need personal space. She doesn't want a man who's going to get scared that he could possibly get yelled at instead of one who'd be actually concerned for her. If that happened to my gf I would have called and texted her or her family until I found out where she was and either taxi'd or run there to be with her. You were being selfish, you were worried about your depression, and your relationship more than you worried about her as an individual. If anything goes she knows she cannot rely on you at all now. She knows you won't pry, that you don't care enough to pursue the truth, and would rather stay in your own world wallowing in your thoughts than helping her confront reality. If she doesn't dump you soon she's going to hold a lot of resentment against you for your failure in the basic abilities any woman wants in a significant other.
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You made a mistake. You both didn't do the best job communicating, but that's understandable given what you're both going through. Being understandable does not make it not a mistake.

Accept that truth. Apologize, tell her you see how what you did hurt her and want to do what's right and what she needs now. Maybe throw in something about understanding why she would feel so hurt and angry at you so if she needs time away from you, you understand and will wait for that.
Thread posts: 12
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