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Hate and anger

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How do I deal with hate/anger due to divorce?

I should not have this issue:
- no kids
- she does not grab money
- she didn't cheat
- we all talk fine when needed

All I can think against her is that she didn't give it a chance and let us fix it. She is just "I know I should but I won't" - woman logic at finest.

So from time to time I have those feelings of hate and anger about her - and I really want to get rid of that shit. Divorces happen, we are fair to each other why the fuck those feelings come and how to get rid of them?
>>
Bumpy. The whole thing was positive life changing experience for me - I moved from lazy stagnation into self improvement, doing fine. Anything else I can do? Is new love and/or time only cure?
>>
It's normal to feel hate and anger toward her. You invested a lot of yourself in that relationship and it's completely normal and natural to be hateful and angry. Learn ways to manage your anger and hate though that are healthy. Exercise, go for a run to blow off steam, tell your thoughts to stop and then ask if they're really true. It's going to take time anon. You'll get through this. And you can get into another relationship when you're ready. Don't ever think for a second that getting into another relationship will help "fix" your anger and hate concerns.
>>
how long ago was the divorce. As cliche as it sounds, just give it time, it will go away on its own
>>
>>18000239

I had a strange thing this morning where I realized my life was getting back up to speed. I'm in Uni, my business will be operable by the end of this year, and someone's about to pick up an old processor I had lying around for a benji. I started grooving in the fucking street I felt so good. I felt like I had value, I FEEL, like I have value.

Now, how this pertains to you OP, is by adding value to yourself. You need to do things that are going to make you feel good about yourself, and by proxy, all the little negatives and nuisances will suddenly fade away.

The more you invest in your abilities as a person, the more value you apply to yourself, the less these negative feelings will effect you.

Let's say Tim loves rock music. Tim loves hearing those screeching guitar solos. Tim picks up a guitar at a local store and invests chunks of his day into learning its intricacies. Tim overtime becomes proficient with the instrument, thus adding value to himself.

I guess this is what people call confidence, but this is definitely what I experienced today. Continually adding value to myself in my life makes me feel fucking amazing, and negative feelings about other people doesn't even occur to me anymore. I get upset with myself, sure, but now what is in the past is in the past. I move on, because in my eyes, I have more value than people that have wronged me in the past. I quite literally feel they are beneath me. I could go on and on about this, but effectively, wolves don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.
>>
>>18000396
Thanks, I think you made me really realize that this anger is a problem that I need to work on. I knew it was stupid, maybe I just needed validation on that.

>>18000412
Few months now but we still didn't handle all things (it takes time) which causes feeling of instability.

>>18000422
Yes I am totally doing that, as I said this was really positive change for myself. I started to care about my health, greatly reduced procrastination etc.
Thread posts: 6
Thread images: 1


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