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Controlling urges. Have GF, am happy, can't for the life

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Controlling urges.

Have GF, am happy, can't for the life of me stop feeling attracted to other people. What the fuck?

I've never approached anyone outside of GF with any romantic/sexual intent so far, just to be clear. That said, there's a metric fuckton of women around me (fourth year uni, only guy on the course out of approx 30 people).

So I can't just avoid any contact, these are new people I've just started courses with, fresh relations and whatnots. None of the gals are glorious 8/10 or anything, but there are many that have this and that going for them.

So what to do? If I fap too much I'm calm, but then It's possible I'll underperform with my GF. If I don't fap I'm going crazy watching all those chicks all around me. Love my gf never cheated in my life yadda yadda yadda.
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>>17995681
Vent all your sexual frustrations into glorious lovemaking with the gf
>>
smash your balls with a hammer or quit whining about ordinary things
>>
Sounds like something that happened to me.

Do you watch porn? If so, stop. I used to watch porn and it made me have those feelings even with a gf. When I quit porn and only fapped with my imagination/spent my energy on my gf, the urges went away.

Don't cheat, it causes a lot of stress and guilt.
>>
>>17995798
>Don't cheat, it causes a lot of stress and guilt.

It's fine, I never did nor intend to. I do have that one friend that I've known for a fuckton of years and might've liked to get some stuff going, but not while I'm in a relationship with someone else.
>>
>>17995798
Oh yeah, regarding that porn thing. Before I got into a relationship two faps a day was staple. That one I did notice may have been part of the issue so I reduced it to something around 3 faps a week if she's on her period or we don't see each other for whatever reason.
>>
>>17995681
I'm going through the same exact thing OP. Do you imagine yourself with her forever, even beyond uni? That's the question I ask myself all the time.

She's my first gf and I met her the very first week of freshman year. She's all I've really known in a romantic sense. I can't stop thinking about other girls, what it would be like to flirt with the, date them, fuck them etc. I don't know if I want my first and only gf to be my forever wife, know what I mean? But that's just my situation , and you aren't alone with your feelings.
>>
>>17995839
> Do you imagine yourself with her forever, even beyond uni?

Actually I'm torn on that one. I had gone to uni after two years of freelancing, so I'm not that much of a kid anymore. On one hand, out of 4 or 5 gals I've dated, she's def. the best. On the other, if I take a step back and analyze our relationship objectively there are things that give me pause.

One thing - I'm not getting maried nor having children and that's not changing (think of me as having family related phobia or PTSD if it makes things easier). She on the other hand says that she feels the same, but she's just a tad bit younger and I can't be sure if she really means it or it's a matter of hormones not kicking in and judging by her reasoning, I'm inclined to believe the latter.

Another is having much different views on life itself. I'm basically cut off from any outside influence while she's obviously pestered by her parents to get married and such. Hard to tell if she can rise above it, as even though she said she accepts me, I can see her being in conflict with the family, another potential issue.

Side note - Sex is fine. Not yet on the amazing 10/10 level that I have, unfortunately, experienced, but with a promise of getting better and better as time goes on.
>>
Look up the Coolidge effect, OP. What you're experiencing is natural and inevitable.
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>>17995681

its normal to be attracted to people. you will never NOT be attracted to people. its built in. discipline is what keeps people from cheating, not lack of attraction.
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>>17996099
Ffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
>>
>>17995681
Two bits of wisdom from an old man.

1. You will ALWAYS notice pretty girls, no matter how committed your relationship is.
2. Growing up consists of stopping at noticing.
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>>17996099
Fuck this gay existence.
>>
I work around a lot of attractive women and I had this issue when I started. I don't know what changed, but one day I stopped caring about what it'd be like to fuck all these girls.

I suppose in midst of fapping I really tried to think about what it'd be like fucking them, and I realised shit's all the same. A pussy is a pussy. They have a great ass, great tits... so what? Once you've grabbed it and slapped it around a bit, then what? You can't distill what you find attractive about their shit down to an essence and experience it. All you can feel is peepee in vagoo and really, it's all going to feel the same. I figured would never be as great as with my girlfriend because of the emotional connection and the complete sense of security, as faggy as all that sounds.

Oh yeah, seeing them before they "put their faces on" helped. I've never felt attracted to "hot" girls since.
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>>17995681
>If I fap too much I'm calm, but then It's possible I'll underperform with my GF.
Not if you eat more meat/protein, sleep more work out harder/more have more fap more/ have more sex to increase your testosterone
>http://chaosandpain.blogspot.com/2013/07/no-fap-more-like-no-fucking-way.html
>http://chaosandpain.blogspot.com/2010/09/enough-already-sex-and-baddassery-are.html
>http://chaosandpain.blogspot.com/2010/09/enough-already-sex-and-baddassery-are_07.html
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masturbation#Health_effects
>http://www.europeanurology.com/article/S0302-2838(16)00377-8/abstract/ejaculation-frequency-and-risk-of-prostate-cancer-updated-results-with-an-additional-decade-of-follow-up
>http://www.webmd.com/prostate-cancer/news/20040406/frequent-ejaculation-prostate
>http://urology.jhu.edu/newsletter/prostate_cancer712.php
>http://www.frequenturinationinmenexplained.com/ejaculation-and-prostate-cancer/
>http://m.joe.endocrinology-journals.org/content/52/1/51.short
>http://answers.webmd.com/answers/5004889/what-nutrients-do-you-lose-when-ejaculating-or-masterbating-do-you-lose-testerone-
>https://www.healthtap.com/user_questions/1294935-how-long-does-your-body-take-to-replace-the-nutrients-lost-by-masturbation
>http://press.endocrine.org/doi/full/10.1210/jcem.85.1.6291
>https://www.anabolicmen.com/fats-and-testosterone/
>http://chaosandpain.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-simplicity-of-dieting-it-really-is.html?m=1
>https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17520786
>>
I had this urges on and off for 6 years with my current gf.

Two years ago we started going out with girls and doing threesomes. Problem solved.
Thread posts: 16
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