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Stuck in an awful rut with female friends

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>Almost every girl I get along with

>I don't put her on a pedestal, don't crush on her, treat her like a normal person

>Hangout a few times, get on well, text somewhat often

>Then one day, she doesn't wanna hangout

>Makes excuses or gives a flat "no"

>So I only invite her if I have previous plans, no more asking her to do something alone with me. Don't invite her to multiple things in the same week.

>Then she stops giving normal responses through text. Only answers with "yep", "nope", or just other short bullshit answers instead of actively conversing

>This, and other things annoy the shit out of me, but I can't say anything or I'm some weirdo or a bitch or something

How tf do I get out of this cycle and avoid it altogether? This has happened with nearly every female I've become friends with (I'm a guy btw) since I've moved to my new city. When I ask someone if they want to go do something and they just say "no", it's somewhat annoying because you can't ask "why not" or they go off about how they don't need to explain themselves to you or some shit, and now you're being needy for wanting a reason.

When someone is responding with short answers and not conversing when literally nothing has changed since the time when you were having real discussions about shit, you can't ask what's up with them or they'll just call you annoying for interrogating them.

Who's at fault here? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills bc to me, I'm simply inviting them along to do something, talking to them like a normal human being, and they're unable to socialize in a normal capacity, then when you ask what's up, they treat it as if they have the power to say what's normal or not, and now I feel like a creeper for asking a girl out once in awhile.

So /adv/ how the fuck do I get out of this? Is there anyway to salvage these things or has it all just been time wasted? If there is a way, is there anyway where I can turn it around and be in the position of power?
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It's because they finally realized you're not treating them like a princess.
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>>17982649
One more question, how do I just avoid this happening altogether (without being a bitch)
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bump because this is seriously fucking my shit up
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Some girls are like that, I think the only way you can avoid it is to recognize that they are "the type" and move on. There are plenty of chicks out there who just want to be friends and hang out and have a fun time.
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>>17982649
My guess is, they think you're interested and try to shut it down. That, or because you don't give them special treatment (I know the type), they begin to slowly fade away from you. They may also be more interested in their partner--a lot of people (male and female) gradually distance themselves from friends, especially if they're clingy and introverted. Another thing: I don't care if my guy has female friends, but when I realized we were serious, I cut out male friends that weren't mutual. Not because he's the whiny, insecure type, but because he had previously been cheated on. I never wanted to make him feel even an ounce the way his ex made him feel.

Hope that helps.
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>>17982775
None of them have bf's. I don't befriend girls who have bf's unless their bf was my friend first and that's how I met them.
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Is it too blunt to just straight up ask a girl if we're ever going to hang out? Seems like a tough balancing act between seeming like a needy bitch and thinking you're just absolutely the shit and giving her an ultimatum.
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>>17982649
If this is going to be someone who you're probably going to lose as a social contact anyway, why care what they think? If you see that they've changed toward you, ask anyway. Depending on the way people behave where you are, it may be that women will simply deny there's any issue, but it's also possible that you'll get some information that's actually useful to you.

And then there's this:

>has it all just been time wasted?
>is there anyway where I can turn it around and be in the position of power?

Do you see how this looks like you have ulterior motives aside from friendship. If you had a good time with someone, it's not a waste of time even if it doesn't go anywhere. Your second question wanting to know how to manipulate and control. It makes you look like a "nice guy". Your attitude is "I'm doing the right things but these women aren't behaving properly."

>>17982827
>Is it too blunt to just straight up ask a girl if we're ever going to hang out?

Too blunt for what? If someone already SEEMS uncomfortable with you to the extent that they stop spending time with you or even communicating with you, they probably are. What, is being blunt going to cause them to not communicate EVEN MORE?

If you want to be blunt, be blunt about what you're looking for.

How's it going with the guys you're hanging out with? They cutting you off after a while too?
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>>17982965
>What, is being blunt going to cause them to not communicate EVEN MORE?

Well, in the case that they may have just not wanted to do the things I invited them to do, it may seem like a pushy thing to ask them.
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>>17982965
Also, the guys I hang out with all work out fine, because I can be straightforward with them without one of us being awkward about it. If there's a dude I don't get along with that well, we just don't hang out. If we get on well, we can ask each other to hangout as much as we feel like because there's no weird social rules to a bromance, we can just chill.
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>>17983033
>If there's a dude I don't get along with that well, we just don't hang out.

Oh, you mean you didn't come onto 4chan to whine about how you wasted time and wondering how to get the upper hand?
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>>17983069
What're you talking about? I'm on the advice board asking for advice. I'm looking to get the position of power because they don't give a straight answer on anything. It would be wasted time to have spent anytime whatsoever talking to a girl after you've hung out for what would be the last time. If it leads to nothing, including a platonic friendship, then yes, everything after the last time having a good time together was a waste of my time.

Now respectfully, give actual advice or frig off, Randy.
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>>17982649
Are you physically escalating things with them? It sounds a lot like me before I started to take the initiative to physically escalate things myself after a girl explained to me that she thought I was gay
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>>17983114
Yeah ok.

Ok, here's advice: either stop pretending that all you're interested in is being friends, or treat your female friends the same way you treat your male friends.

And yeah, it sure is horrendously time consuming to send a text to someone.

"Want to hang out this weekend?"

I just spent 2 hours thinking about how to write that, and I'm still not sure if I got the wording right.
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>>17983178
Are you a female?

>>17983163
No. But I'm talking about dealing with girls I'm not initially interested in romantically. Usually 6's or 7's or I think are pretty cool. I don't really have problems getting girls who I'm romantically interested in, because I go about it totally differently.
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>>17983178
>Girls are people too

baka
Thread posts: 17
Thread images: 1


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