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Finally got a date out of Tinder last night, my first date with

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Finally got a date out of Tinder last night, my first date with a woman in over five years. I didn't think the date was going so well, but after getting coffee, she did want to go to a bar with me, so I thought that things couldn't have been going too bad since she wanted to hang out some more. After the bar, though, when I asked for her number, she said, "I'll send it to you on Tinder," and I knew she wasn't interested. Sure enough, she messages me this morning saying that while she doesn't see any romance here, that she would like to be friends.

Since I see this happening quite a bit with Tinder, what's the best way for me to say, "Being friends with a single girl who I am attracted to is not a great idea for me and usually makes me feel like shit?"
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>>17982019
Say it just like that.
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Meh just delete her, she is just being nice to you.
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>>17982019
Just tell her that and never see her again.
She probably wants to be "friends" because she knows you're attracted to her and she wants to use you.
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>>17982022
>>17982036
I sent her something like that and added that I hoped for the best for her. I can't imagine things'll be so bad for her. She's been in two 4-year relationships in her life, so she doesn't have a problem getting into long-term relationships.

Thanks for the advice ,guys.
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Why bother even explaining? At best, she'll milk you for another night out to waste your time. You have nothing useful to look forward to, ignore her completely.
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>>17982051
>she'll milk you for another night out to waste your time.
I mean, last night wasn't so bad. I enjoyed talking with her and I went to a couple places I had never been before. Hanging out with her again with the purposes of taking the relationship further would be nice.

But hanging out with her again knowing that nothing will develop and that she's likely hanging out with another guy who she would like to take things further with does not sound like a good time.
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>>17982057
Brush it off and move on man.
Dating is a numbers game.
Don't get hung up on one girl just because she agreed to go on a date with you. She said she doesn't see any romance there. So there you have it. Move on and don't look back. Boom, done.
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>>17982069
I know. Like I said, I messaged her saying I wasn't interested in being friends.

But it is still eating at me a bit since this was my first date in five years. I had a really hard time going to sleep last night. I'm sure these feelings will go away. And I did hop back onto Tinder for some swiping last night, so I am still looking.
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>>17982074
It's eating at you because it's rejection. A girl was initially interested in you to an extent. When she got to meet you, she became less interested.

It's really not a big deal. It's much easier to find people you aren't compatible with than it is to find people who are compatible with you. At least relationship wise.

You'll be fine. This is all normal.
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>>17982083
This anon speaks the truth ... Good luck on the hunt dude!
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>I appreciate the sentiment but I'm really here to meet somebody, not just make friends
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>I went to a couple places I had never been before

What the fuck is this shit, the girl moved you around in the date? What kind of man are you?
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>>17982989
I mean you actually deserve to be rejected if you cant lead on, this kind of shit isnt handed out to you at all
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Maybe she's nervous. Maybe she just wants to use you. I say,meet her again. Don't kiss her ass or anything. If anything, the fact that she wants to be friends is perfect. Treat her like an actual friend. Show her who you really are. You dont need to put on an act anymore. Romance is gone right?

So why would you be worried what she thinks of you. You will be relaxed. She either becomes attracted organically or she doesn't and you meet her friends. Get real experience with girls.

I fucking hate online dating apps so much man.
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>>17983101
>I say,meet her again. Don't kiss her ass or anything. If anything, the fact that she wants to be friends is perfect. Treat her like an actual friend. Show her who you really are. You dont need to put on an act anymore. Romance is gone right?
Except he's not comfortable being friends. There's no issue with it if you're able to move on from rejection quickly and easily, but that's not OPs situation.

He's been single for 5 years and rejection is going to fuck with him way more than it would normally. No need to put himself through that mental torture.
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>>17983179
You dont know op...
I havent got laid in 5 years but friends are still cool.
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>>17982019
What's up with all you faggots being so against friendship with women? If you seem like a lonely, friendless loser who puts pussies on pedestals, no woman will want to be with you ever. If you're a laidback dude and well-adjusted enough to have both male and female friends, women will be attracted. Good relationships happen naturally. Stop trying to force people you've met once into boxes.

Source: I'm a woman who's now engaged to a guy I was friends with for 7 years before dating. We started dating because we were both unsatisfied with our strings of casual relationships with others and realized we liked each others company far more than anyone we had dated. Wonderful things happen when you least expect them.
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>>17983464
How did the convo of dating happen? Like were you two always attracted to each other and finally gave it a shot?
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>>17983570
It's a long timeline, but why not:

We were college friends and he subletted from one of my roommate's the summer after graduation. One drunken night he told me he found me attractive and wanted to be friends with benefits. He knew I had a big crush on co-worker at the time (who I had gone on a couple dates with), so I was actually pretty offended. After a few more dates, co-worker and I ultimately decided we weren't right for each other, and after my now fiance moved out, we started hanging out 4-5 times per week. After a couple months we had wonderfully awkward drunken sex. I asked if he wanted to do it more often, and we decided to be FWBs. This went off and on for 3 years (we both had multiple short-lived relationships with others in that time), when he randomly gchatted me at work and brought up the idea of dating. I was a bit skeptical at first (mostly because I felt taken off-guard at work), but we met over drinks that night and mutually agreed we liked each other more than we ever liked the other people we had dated. The rest is history.
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>>17983464
I had this mindset before, not that I didnt want female friends, but that I had so often been put in the "friend zone" that I was tired of it. Having a female friends for me usually meant someone who had rejected me before and I hated it.

That changed last year when I met a girl and became really interested in her. I asked her out, she said she liked hanging with me but didnt see me as more than a friend. I tried to be cool about it, I did like talking to her anyways, but couldnt keep it up and slowly stopped talking and hanging with her. I thought about it some more and realized that it was a mistake and that having female friends to interact with would be a benefit socially. It'll make me communicate with women better and she has friends, who could be new possibilities for romance. It was too late and it would have been awkward to just message out of the blue to hang out until I ran into her one night randomly.

Now were friends again, and even though those feelings have come up again (I think maybe she sees me differently too, who knows) I know that this time if I decide to make a move and get rejected again, I wont make the same mistake, grow some balls, and simply treat her as a friend and reap what benefits I can from that. The all or nothing attitude is toxic and is just a set up for disappointment.
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>>17983791
Rock on, anon! This kind of emotional maturity is what all these "friend zoned" whiners on /adv/ need. Despite the cacophony of YA books to the contrary, women really don't like brooding and emotionally wounded loners - they want an affable dude who's well-adjusted, makes friends easily, and comfortable with himself. A man who "can't" be friends with women because the friendzone gives him the sads is none of those things.
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>>17983464
This is a load, I've a fair few friends that are girls not as many as guys but a few, treat them no differently as I would a guy, and I have been single for 6-7 years, hooked up with a few people in that time but no relationships at all, they either get to know me and 'don't want to loose my friendship' or 'justbwant to be friends' even those i hooked up with.
I mean what's up with that
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