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I suffer from several minor mental disorders that don't

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I suffer from several minor mental disorders that don't keep me from theoretically getting work but make it a complete bitch to do so. I've currently enrolled in a course run by a charitable organization that teaches people how to become a competent office lackey with the goal of them becoming economically self-sufficient. I'm not paying for it but I'm also not being paid for it. I found out that my aunt's husband is a plumber whose firm has a ladder system where helpers can become journeymen if they work hard enough, and start out at $10 an hour. Frankly I don't know what I want to do with my life, but I like working with my hands, but I also don't like jumping across rooftops even if the building I'm standing on is burning. Not two months ago I was a hikikomori debating the afterlife risk-reward of just ending this life and rerolling for another one, but I ended up that way because I can't fucking make decisions for myself.
Are there any words of advice that relate to any of this that could help me in any way?
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Alternatively tell me I'm an idiot. I most certainly am.
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Do plumbers spend any time jumping across rooftops? Why are you connecting those two?
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>>17980090
I'm trying to create a metaphor describing the feeling of engaging in a radical lifestyle change that would do permanent damage if fucked up. Do you have a better rhetorical device I could use?
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>>17980105
Ah, I see - I took the line literally. Another confusion I may have, how would taking a new job a radical enough lifestyle change that could do permanent damage? It's something you can stop doing immediately if you're not working at all now. There's little to no potential for any kind of harm from my point of view.
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>>17980120
The program I'm in is on a Pell grant and reapplying would be extremely bothersome if not risky, and if I were to leave I'd fall victim to the exact pitfalls I'm being trained to avoid. If I fuck this up I'll go back to being a shut-in with my enabler bring closer to death and I won't be young enough to claim to have a life ahead of me. I've thought of being a drifter, but I don't have the interpersonal skills needed to find food in a new town and would probably die off quickly.
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