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I texted a guy about 2 weeks ago based on /adv/ advice and it

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I texted a guy about 2 weeks ago based on /adv/ advice and it went very well and I thought maybe we'd start texting each other fairly regularly.

But he never texted again and seems much less interested in me now when we see each other in person. He's not as flirtatious and seems a bit colder towards me in general. We have not acknowledge the text conversation in person. We don't talk one on one in person ever.

We have lots in common, but I feel uncomfortable texting him again and I can't think of any smooth way to do so. I keep thinking of things I wish I would have said in the last text conversation (like hoping to pick the conversation back up again later or to feel free to text me whenever), but it would feel unnatural saying any of that stuff now, two weeks on.

Did I screw this up? Do I let it go? I'm kind of heartbroken over this.
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>>17979371
well it seems like he's the messed up one in this situation anon.

He's either painfully awkward shy or a pos.
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>>17979384
Yeah, I can't tell if he's irritated with me because I never texted again? I remember the first time I saw him post text, he seemed very happy to see me, but all subsequent times he has seemed irritable and ignores me, spends most of our group time together on his phone texting or playing games, doesn't laugh at my jokes as much, if at all, etc.

I'm very confused and hurt. I do kind of want to text and try to strike up a conversation again, but I'm not sure what to say, and if he doesn't want to talk to me, I don't want to compound the problem.
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I keep trying to theorize over why he's acting differently towards me:

I've come up with:
>the text maybe clued him into my feelings towards him, he doesn't feel the same and now wants to give me the cold shoulder to discourage me

>he likes me and the text made me think i liked him too, but because i played it cool he now feels let down and is trying to distance himself

(at this point, i think this is what i'm going to do myself, but i hope he's not doing that to me)

>he's not irritated with me, it's all in my head. nothing has changed as far as he knows.
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>>17979437
also:

>he is more irritable, but it has nothing to do with me
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anyone have any insight? sorry for continually bumping this. I'm trying to get some homework done and keep drifting back to this, part procrastination, part heartbreak.
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>>17979393
Text him back being a little flirty, say hi ("hey there") and such. If he doesn't respond and is still cold in person, move on
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>>17979647
I don't think I can flirt with him over text, especially with how cold he's been to me lately. It's hard for me to flirt in the first place. I'm really bad at making myself vulnerable.

i am thinking about texting again (probably not tonight though, it's Saturday and he's probably out with friends or something) to test the waters, but I feel like I need a reason.
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I'm in the same position with a girl. I don't know what's on her mind or what she thinks of me anymore. I feel like she's moved on, but she said she still wants to hang out with me sometime. I can't help but feel like she's just saying that (but admittedly I'm a pretty paranoid person).

Tell him exactly what's on your mind. It's going to be tough. But do it. Maybe he's introverted, or shy. Maybe he's in the same position and is having trouble thinking of things to text you.

Listen, I'm telling you bite the fucking bullet it and just tell him you really like him. Try to establish a meet up. Don't think too much about it, just do it. I'd grab you by the shoulders and shake you right now if I could.

Because even if you find out for sure he isn't interested, knowing is better than sitting and wondering. What do you have to lose? Your pride? Who cares. In 100 years you'll both be dead and none of this will have ever mattered.
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>>17979371
>We don't talk one on one in person ever.
>We have lots in common, but I feel uncomfortable texting him again and I can't think of any smooth way to do so.

wait some time & try to see if he pays attention to you in person

i'd say forget the txting for now, you tried it, it didn't work, what will trying again do ? wait for him

and if he doesnt pay attention to you in person then yes find a new guy

good luck
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>>17979663
You're right, but this is the only social thing I do at the moment and I'm scared of both getting rejected and feeling like I can't go anymore. I really wish I had tried back when I was more confident that he might like me back. Now I feel like it's just a lost cause.

>>17979665
>then yes find a new guy
oh man, this is so hard for me. it usually takes me years to like someone. this is the first person i've ever liked instantaneously.
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>>17979682
>I really wish I had tried back when I was more confident that he might like me back. Now I feel like it's just a lost cause.
Ha...yeah. Me too.
We're in very similar circumstances I guess. I did hook up with this girl a few times even though I'm looking for something more serious.

But I liked her immediately. And I still do.

Stop living in fear. Again, what do you have to lose?

Either you take control of this now and tell him, or you be a loser like me and never take action and just sit and wonder what could have been. And it's the worst fucking feeling in the world. I guarantee you it's worse than rejection.
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>>17979695
I've been through some rough stuff in the past few years and I feel like a rejection would hurt pretty badly right now. Moreso than usual. I don't really have a support system in place to help me handle it. If I had asked a few months ago, it wouldn't have been that big of a deal because my feelings hadn't really cemented. But now they have and now it sucks.

Did you ask your girl out?
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Maybe he's taken and hasn't told you? So he's trying to lay off so his gf doesnt catch him lol
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>>17979715
I've thought about that. I heard him mention hanging out with an ex-girlfriend recently, maybe they are getting back together.

His facebook says he single (he does not seem very active on it though and maybe doesn't update that) and he seems to have plans every night of the week with some of the other guys in our group, so I have been assuming he's single.
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>>17979700
>If I had asked a few months ago, it wouldn't have been that big of a deal because my feelings hadn't really cemented. But now they have and now it sucks.
Lol we really are in the same position. My feelings have cemented about this girl too. That's how I know they're real. And yeah, it fucking sucks. I feel so low right now, and I feel your pain. I know what you're going through.

Things were great over the summer. She seemed way into me. But the situation was complicated by the fact that she had a long term boyfriend she didn't want to be with anymore. And then things just fizzled out between us and I keep thinking back on the summer and how happy I was.

I didn't ask her out. I told her straight up that even though I feel like she's moved on, I miss having her around. And she told me that she's sorry she dropped off the face of the earth and that she still wants to get together sometime. But like i said, I've been wondering if she really means that, cause she isn't exactly blowing up my texts and snapchat like she used to. That was a month ago that we had that conversation and we haven't talked since. I fucking miss her. I really do.

Anyways sorry for hijacking your thread.
I've been through some pretty bad stuff over the last few years too and I would kill for some stability. Something to keep me above that line where you feel like absolute shit. I have no support either. I don't have that kind of relationship with my family or any of the (few) friends I have.

My advice remains the same, even though I should take it myself. Shoot from the hip and stop giving a fuck.

Rejection hurts bad, but it's short lived. Not knowing hurts bad, and it lasts a long time.
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>>17979732
It's no problem, it's not like this thread is blowing up with posts anyway. It will probably get one or two more and then sink.

It sounds like you guys at least had some sort of friendship, which is more than I can say with this guy. We've had one conversation that was just us and that was it.

If he starts treating me like how he used to treat me (smiling at me all the time, laughing hard at my jokes, making eye contact with me, etc - I am definitely trying to do that on my end and I'm just getting met with coldness), I will try to be confident. Right now though, I feel like I'd be setting myself up for failure and I don't really see the point.
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>>17979732
I should make an app that lets other people take over your phone for an allotted amount of time with your permission. You could take over my phone, I could take over yours and we could figure out what our crushes are thinking once and for all while the other person easily does what's so hard for us to do ourselves.
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>>17979757
Yeah, we had and still have some kind of bond/friendship.

But based on this I'm starting to wonder if this guy is even worth you worrying about. Sure you have some things in common, but you have things in common with lots of people that you don't know yet.

Anyways you're still thinking about him. So just text him. Ask him to hang out. If he's receptive, build on it. If he's not, move on. Dont think of things to text him. Cause as far as I'm concerned, physical/face to face interaction is the only thing that really matters.


Rejection is part of life. And you have one life to live and you're worth more than getting hung up on one single person who may not be into you.

Based on what you've said, as a guy, I can tell you he was into you at some point. You're overthinking things. There are a million reasons why he might not be as receptive to you in person as he used to be.

The disaster scenario in your mind is that he'll be like "Lol ew no gross", but that's not going to happen.

I'm begging you to try to set up a meeting with him. It could be anything. Going out for coffee. Going out for drinks. Whatever, who cares.

You're worrying too much about what he's up to. Whether he's out for friends or whether he's seeing someone (I don't think he is). Stop thinking about those things and just do it. Please.
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>>17979775
Haha

you're onto something
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>>17979786
I'll see him again on Tuesday. How about this, I'll see what he's like on Tuesday and try to text again if he's friendlier? I will be all smiles towards him.

He was in no way friendly today without being a dick about it. I can't text him now, I feel like it would be borderline autism.
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>>17979792
Yeah, that sounds like a plan to me. Be obvious without being obvious, you know? Let him know how you feel without actually saying it.

I think that maybe he's just shy.
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>>17979796
He is overweight and not conventionally attractive and I am skinny and arguably attractive for the environment (it is a geeky hobby study group) though not compared to the general population. I thought maybe this was holding him back, but I've seen a picture of his exgirlfriend on facebook and she is way better looking than I am, so that ruined that theory. Now part of me wonders if I am not good enough for him.

Please ask your girl out too. I don't know enough to tell you how she feels, but I do know that I have a tendency to pull away from guys when I feel like it's going nowhere. There's a huge part of me that wants to do that with this guy....start giving him the cold shoulder too, stop smiling at him and laughing at his jokes, etc, because after a while, lack of forward progress starts to feel like a rejection in itself.
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>>17979371
you didn't screw it up, he just found another korean girl to satisfy his needs.
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>>17979649
I can tell you, you really don't need a reason. If he's into you, he'll respond positively. If he's not, he'll ignore. If he responds negatively, he's an ass and you didn't want him anyways (you just might not have known that).

As for when, that's up to you.
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>>17979807
>but I've seen a picture of his exgirlfriend on facebook and she is way better looking than I am,
Yeah that's probably bullshit.
You're thinking this way because girls tend to think this way. He's fucking fat. You're out of his league on principle.

It's his ex girlfriend. They're not together anymore for a reason, whether he realizes it or not. That shit is going nowhere. Make him forget about her. He probably still has feelings for her. But guess what? That doesn't mean shit (again, whether he realizes it or not).

>because after a while, lack of forward progress starts to feel like a rejection in itself.
Yeah I've said it way too many times already but we're in the same boat. I've felt this same exact way.

I know how shitty you feel cause I feel it too and I wish I could hug you and tell you it's not as serious as you think it is, cause I wish I had someone who would tell me that right now. I'm completely broken down over her.

Just go for broke, OK? blow the engine on life. stop thinking about the "what ifs" and just do it.

Tuesday. Leave no doubt in his mind how you feel.
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>>17979856
I think they may have just separated because of distance and career, not because of incompatibility. If that is the case, I don't want to stand in the way, but that's not something for me to worry about right now.

You know what? I'm just going to go ahead and text him and ask how he's doing. I'm not going to be super forward though. I'm just going to test the waters and see how he's doing.
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>>17979895
See this is what I'm talking about.

Fucking do it.
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>>17979899
Well, I'm not going to be forward and spill my guts. I just asked if he's doing ok. If he doesn't answer, well then I'll know.
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>>17979900
Maybe, maybe not. Again you're thinking too far into it.

Face to face interaction is what really matters. Not text messages. Listen I have faith that if it's meant to happen it will happen cause it sounds like you guys hang out via mutual groups.

I also have faith that you're self-aware and intelligent enough to find someone who actually matters if things don't work out.

I honestly wish you the best, cause I feel the same things you do.
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>>17979923
Well, face to face interactions haven't gone too well lately. If this text message gets ignored or doesn't go well, then I guess that will be that. Part of me wants it to go badly because that'll be the end. If it goes well, then I'm back to wondering what my next move is or wondering if he's just being nice.
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>>17979944
>face to face interactions haven't gone too well lately.
Which is fine. Thats a personal problem on his part.

Again I wish I could grab you by the shoulders and shake you. In the grand scheme of things is this guy that important? Fuck no.

You're worthy of someone who loves you and has the time for you. Don't be hung up on this fat asshole.
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>>17979971
He's really not an asshole, I swear. He hasn't been out and out rude to me, he's just not as encouraging or flirtatious as he once was and it could be for any number of reasons or even just completely in my head. I really don't know him very well even though sometimes I feel like I do.

Part of what makes me like him so much is how nice he is though. Even people in the group who are very annoying, he is patient and kind towards them, to like a Saint like degree. It's incredible. Of course, that makes me wonder how he really feels about me. Maybe he's just nice to me but finds me irritating like those other people.

But I do see what you're saying.

It's been about 45 minutes and he hasn't responded. That's a little worrisome because he was a smart watch and no doubt has seen that I've texted, though he may be busy otherwise.
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>>17979980
I wouldn't worry yet, especially if he is out with his friends tonight.
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>>17979980
>It's been about 45 minutes and he hasn't responded.
That's a good thing.
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>>17979999
Why is that a good thing?

I don't really think it's a big deal. It's a Saturday and he's probably hanging out with people. I'm stuck at home trying to do homework so I can watch football tomorrow but instead I'm stuck on this.

Still, I'd kind of like to get it over with. Maybe I could concentrate on my schoolwork then.
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>>17980004
Because he's probably with his friends, which means he doesn't have time to formulate a response that isn't vanilla rubbish.
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>>17980028
Maybe. He could also be out on a date or wants to wait until he's home to tell me to leave him alone.

.....I think I'm going to try to concentrate on my schoolwork. Maybe play a videogame if that doesn't work. Waiting is awful.
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>>17980048
Like I said you're overthinking it. In the grand scheme of things texts don't mean shit.

If you want to keep open contact for support I'm more than willing to exchange phone numbers if you want to text since we both feel the same way.

Fuck the texts. Keep close to him Tuesday. Let him know.
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2 weeks after you meet someone and you have not clearly expressed interest is much too long 2 weeks after someone meets you and they have not clearly expressed interest in you is much too long. These are just laws and flirting over text does not exist. Use the texts as intended to set up face to face meetings only. When a girl only texts me "hey" or tries to be cute over text i do not entertain that. Whenever i get the urge to text a girl "hey" i add something else depending on if i would bang or date etc. Its usually down to "when are you free" or "what are you wearing"
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>>17980075
I'm a little nervous about exchanging phone numbers. Maybe kik or telegram?

>>17980106
we have known each other for something like 9 or 10 months now? I just texted him for the first time 2 weeks ago.

When I first met him, I just had a puppy love sort of crush that I think was mostly me just transferring feelings about an ex onto him. It was fun and I had no intentions of acting upon it, it was just nice to be getting over the break up finally.

Then at some point I started having real feelings towards him and seeing him as his own person and I planned on asking him out, but he was never alone and I never had his phone number and then I found out something about him that intimidated me and I decided to drop it.

But the feelings persisted and now they're in the painful territory and now he seems to have lost interest, assuming he had any in the first place.
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Some guys aren't good handling female attention.
I would say try to hangout with him irl without forcing yourself upon him, work/school related activities or whatever is close to that.
I've been in that situation before (as a guy), and I can tell you that what goes through my head is "damn she is cute and really nice, I would totally tap that but she doesn't seem like the kind of person that would be interested in a casual/fwb/fuckbuddy relationship, I'm not really willing to get in a relationship because I hate getting invested into people just for them eventually getting bored of me and dumping me".
Again this could be me just proyecting myself in this situation so take whatever I said with a grain failt
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>>17980180
This guy seems pretty popular (at least with other guys) and well adjusted. I think I'm more the you in this situation, except I don't want a fwb relationship. I'd rather be friends or have a real relationship. I don't think I want the in between.

It's been about 2 and a half hours now and no response, so I think I'm going to call it for the night and go to bed so I can get up and finish my assignment before football.
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>>17980194
>I don't want a fwb relationship
and that's why I ghost every girl that gets interested in me.
Relationships are such a hassle, I have a lot of shit to take care of and just willingly forcing myself into more responsibilities is something that I don't want to do.

Rant aside, listen what people in this thread have said, if a guy doesn't reciprocate you advancements, he is not worth your time.
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>>17980194
I think that's a good call in this case.

In the future, it may take more than two hours for a guy to respond. Just a warning.
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>>17980223
Oh you think he's not going to answer? i was just saying I wasn't going to bother waiting up since I'm tired. Part of me would be relieved if he didn't, I guess.
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>>17980231
In this case I'd say don't wait for him. If he responds, and I don't think he will, it'll probably be tomorrow. Besides, do your work!
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>>17980251
Are you the anon with the similar issue with a girl? Or is this another anon?
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>>17980254
Different anon. I'm
>>17979988 and
>>17979851
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>>17980261
Ah, ok. Thanks. I think you're probably right. I think it's a bad sign that it's taken this long. I definitely wouldn't have taken this long to get back to him unless I was in a 3 hour movie or something.

Oh well.

Have a goodnight.
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>>17980270
You too, anon. I wish you luck
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Anon with a similar issue with a girl here again.

No matter what keep your head up

Cause we both deserve someone who loves us
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>>17980456
Thanks anon. Woke up and checked my phone and still no response. I'm going to go back to sleep and try not to think about it tomorrow. At least now I know, I guess.
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A close friend was drunk and held my hand for a long time while singing at a karaoke. I tried pulling away because 1. He's drunk and 2. I want to eat some of the fries in front of us.

However he didn't let go and held on with a stronger grip. I really really care for him and I used the chance to stroke his fingers with my thumb and he smiled at that. It went on for minutes until we went home. He even called me afterwards and drunkenly promised that we'll "talk about this" and sounds confused but happy.

The next day we had a chat over Messenger and talked about the night except for THAT. I didn't push it, I didn't mention it. He didn't too.

Now I don't know if he forgot or he chose to forget about it. I'm in a really confused state now.

I've like him for so long and we have a lot in common. I treasure our friendship for two years now and didn't show any signs of me liking him. We are still great friends now but he acted like nothing happened and I don't know what to expect anymore :(

If you are my friend, what would've gone through your mind? What should I believe?
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>>17980992
Tough call, anon. He may have been hoping you'd bring it up. It sounds like a case of two people wanting the same thing but being afraid to be the one to break the ice.

But he also could have had second thoughts once sober so idk.

I'd say go for it.
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So woke up for real and still no answer. I suppose it's possible he'll message later today, but I think it's time to accept that it probably won't happen and even if it does, it'll be a perfunctory response at best.

So now what? When I see him on Tuesday do I ignore him? Act the same? Just skip going on Tuesday?
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>>17981239
I would just greet him like normal. He isn't interested in you or something came up. Whatever, just act like he is any other person. Be civil and polite.
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>>17980992
>If you are my friend, what would've gone through your mind? What should I believe?

100% chance he remembers it.

But he was drunk. You ever do something when you're drunk then wake up and cringe about it the next morning?

That is what is going through his mind.

Not because he regrets it but because he's embarrassed to talk about it.

I was actually in a similar situation summer of 2015. Good friend texted me at 2am drunk. Went on a ramble about how she was sad or whatever. Told me she was going to walk home, and told her not to. I crawled out of bed and went and got her at the bar. Took her back to her place but she wouldn't get out of the car. She demanded I take her back to mine because she didn't want to be alone. She was plastered. I had to help her get her seatbelt off when we got home and walk her inside. We sat on the couch for a few minutes and she was drunkenly going through old pics on her phone and telling me stories. She ended up putting her head on my shoulder and rubbing her feet on my leg. She passed out on the couch not long after and I put a blanket around her and went to bed.

We talked about that night a few times. Literally everything except for that moment where she cuddled up against me.

It doesn't matter because she's long gone now. But sometimes I wonder if it actually meant something or she was just drunk.
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>>17981246
I will probably skip the Tuesday session. This is painful and I want to take some time to regroup. I'll see him again on Saturday and I'll just treat him normally, but if he does go back to trying to be flirtatious or over friendly, I will do the cold shoulder thing, because I think that's fucked up.
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>>17981260
I would bite the bullet and go on Tuesday. You didn't do anything weird or wrong. Yeah you're wrapped up in this and feel like shit but it's really not that big of a deal. By not going you're telling him that this affected you. You've gotta be above that.

Anyways, yeah, I think it's incredibly rude to not text people back, even if it's just a vanilla response. I was dating a girl and things were going well and then she just stopped responding to my texts. Never heard from her again until a few weeks ago when she added me on Snapchat. Doesn't have the decency to text me back, but I guess adding me on Snapchat a month later is perfectly acceptable. I don't even know what that means.
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>>17981269
It's not that big of a deal on a micro scale, but it is a big deal for me on a macro scale. Being afraid of people has held me back much of my life. Getting up the courage to reach out to someone was hard and it'll be even harder next time because of this. It did affect me and I'm not sure I really care if he realizes it right now.

I'm guessing your girl regretted what she did and is now trying to make amends.
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>>17981285
What did you text him? Just curious
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>>17981348
I said I was checking in to see if things are going better

It was pretty formal and aromantic
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Bump.

Any word back yet?
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>>17981705
Nope.

My heart keeps trying to justify it - maybe he didn't see it, maybe he's waiting until he has time to talk later, maybe he didn't save my number and didn't realize it was me, etc - but my brain keeps shutting it down.

This sucks. I think I'm just going to feel awful today.
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>>17981715
He saw it. No one is without their phones for more than 8 hours these days. He's had time to respond, especially if he was interested in you.

And yeah, it feels like shit and I'm sorry to tell you the reality of the situation. But if the guy wasn't an asshole he would've texted you something back. Not completely ignored it.

My guess is he still has feelings for his ex gf.

Move on. Meet more people. It's the only way out.
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>>17981728
I know. You're right. Thanks.
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At what point is it OK to be angry? Not expressing it, just feeling it?
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>>17982545
I'd be mad too honestly.

Text him something snarky like "Alright cool."
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>>17982642
No, I don't want to be a dick. 1) There is a small chance he has a good reason, 2) I still have to see him if I want to keep attending the study group, 3) it won't solve anything or make me feel better.
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>>17982642
I did think about sending a follow up "Everything ok?" just in case something weird happened like he saw my text and forgot about it or didn't have my number saved or something and ignored it, but I don't know. That seems clingy to me.
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>>17982695
Yeah don't do that.

He saw the text. You guys have texted before. He knows who it came from. You have to stop trying to rationalize it.

With that said him not texting back doesn't necessarily mean he's not interested. There could be a million reasons why he didn't.

I'm telling you you should go on Tuesday and get a feel for things. Stop making a big deal out of it.
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>>17982706
>With that said him not texting back doesn't necessarily mean he's not interested. There could be a million reasons why he didn't.

I don't know. I try to gauge people's interest by how I would act. If I were interested in someone, I would at least want to text back immediately. And if I wanted to not seem overeager, I would have to try not to text...and then still do it within an hour or two.

And if I were tied up, I'd at least say I would get back to them as soon as I could.

This isn't a good sign.

Trying to keep my mind off it, but I guess i'm in an obsessive mood today. This happens sometimes when I get stuck on a minor issue and can't concentrate on anything else. I wonder if I should see a doctor about it.
>>
We're at the 24 hour mark. Should I apologize at some point for overstepping? or should I just leave it alone?
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>>17983382
How did you overstep?
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>>17983385
I was very worried the first time I texted because he never gave me his number, I just took it from a group text. I feel like if our genders were reversed, people would be horrified by that.

He did not seem to care though and seemed genuinely excited to be talking to me so I figured no harm no foul. Now I'm wondering if I misread everything.
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>>17983388
You've overthinking this.

You guys already had a 1 on 1 text conversation? Correct? And it went fine, right?

That barrier was already broken down.
You're making way too big of a deal over a single text message.

I can promise you it's not worth the torment it's causing you.
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>>17983486
I sent an apology for overstepping which was probably a tactical error, but I don't really care. He responded saying sorry, he hadn't meant to not respond, he just got distracted.

We had a short conversation that seemed to go well enough, though I don't feel good about him being interested in me. That's ok though. Part of me would rather be friends anyway.
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>>17983623
Holy fuck. Ever heard of the saying 'he's just not that into you?' Sorry it sucks but it happens. You sound very young and naive so I'm going to give you some womanly advice. First mistake was stealing his number from a group chat, unless this was the only possible way for you to say hi, then it was wrong. It probably gave a slight clinger alarm to the guy. Always talk first, then ASK for a number. Although good for you for having the balls to message him. Dating is all about chase. Even though you check your phone a million times a day to see if hes texted, does not mean you should tell him, or text him that many times. You need to make yourself seem slightly interested, yet aloof and confident that you don't really need him. When you seem really busy and unnavailable it makes him more interested. When you spend your days going over every word in every text and apologizing for past texts, it just comes off as needy and possible pyscho material. Like most people, would have been like huh, too bad didn't work out and on to the next. You have made a thread on advice column and have replied all 77 times in the last 24 hours and are still going on about. To be honest you don't seem ready to date and sound hella insecure. Confidence is sexy. Go get confident and find all the things you love about yourself and trust me, the men will follow like sharks to a drop of blood. But seriously this is ridiculous. Not every guy you meet will like you. And thats okay youre not gonna like every guy.
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>>17983658
I'm actually pretty old but bad at this stuff. I've initiated texting twice with him in 2 weeks (3 if you count the apology) and I won't do it again. I told him if he wants to talk about anything, feel free to text me. I won't initiate again.


I do get hung up on minor problems sometimes and it's a real issue. It's not usually guys or even people though - usually machines or animals.
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>>17983658
and I disagree that confidence works. Frankly, most people think I'm a badass (their words, not mine).

I hide my insecurities in person very well. All it does is drive people away because I come across as too cool for them.
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>>17983689
You may have went in there too strong then. Because you took his number, you should have only texted once, then if he initiated a second convo, you know hes interested, if he doesnt text ever again, you know not to waste your time and energy on him. If a guy likes you, he will make it known in some way and pursue you. Pursuing a guy is risky, it gives him all the power and youre basically giving it up for free. You need to let the guy do some of the chasing so he has to work for it. If you give up the goods with no effort on his part he will never respect you. Its okay to get hung up on minor problems too but just keep in mind that you tend to do that and recognize the behavior. That way when you do it again you can tell yourself to stop being silly and over time the behavior will minimize to nothing or very slight behavior. How old are you if you dont mind me asking? This changes things too sometimes. Especially for what age bracket he is in
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>>17983714
I'm not going to text him again. I let him know if he wants to talk, I'm around. I started worrying that I came across as too aloof during our first conversation when he never texted again. It is a common, common issue for me.

I know about getting hung up on minor problems. I'm working on it and I keep it to myself.

We are in our mid 20s.
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>>17983696
Being a bad ass means exuding confidence. You dont give a fuck. So either your friends are being nice and trying to help your confidence boost, or you took things the wrong way because i have seen 0 hints of badass in all you have said. A badass doesnt steal numbers and send multiple texts apologizing for other texts and telling a new guy he can talk to you about anything anytime. You made yourself too available.
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>>17983736
This is all covert stuff though, no one sees this neuroses on display in real life.

I once told a friend that I had a crush on him and his response was that he didn't know I was capable of liking anyone, like even as a friend. He didn't think I had feelings at all.

Another friend once told me his group of friends used to sit around and talk about me. They wanted to invite me to hang out with them sometime, but they didn't know how. He said they were scared of me and figured I'd just say no and he thought it was hilarious.

I think you're off a little on your timeline. I sent him a text two weeks ago and we had a 30 minute conversation following that. I sent him a text yesterday and did not hear from him. I sent him an apology text today, almost 24 hours after my previous text. We then had a short conversation that was mostly him keeping it going. That's 3 texts that I initiated, including the apology text, over the space of 2 weeks.
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Yeah you ignored my advice and apologized.

You shouldn't have done that.

It seems like you don't even know this guy that well. I'm trying to understand why you're so wrapped up in him.
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>>17983849
I was trying to figure that out too, I was the one more recently posting with op. I gave up lol all I can think is issues
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does no one read the FAQ?
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>>17983887
I don't even know where the FAQ is
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>>17983849
Kind of fucked up that you kept encouraging her when everyone else was telling her he wasn't interested. Seems like you wanted her to succeed to give your own hopeless situation some hope.
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>>17983951
Uh what

This >>17983486 was my first post in this thread

You sound like an idiot
Thread posts: 91
Thread images: 3


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