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How to let go of anger and hate

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I strongly resent my ex and it consumes me. It spills into other aspects of my life. I've been told frequently that I'm grumpy and angry since we broke up. I hate her. But I want to let it go, and move on

Tbqh I wish she would just die and her existence would no longer bother me, but I realize how wrong that is and how no one deserves that.

Tldr how do you deal with anger problems
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>>17976538
Do you still talk to your ex?
How long were you together?
How long since you've split?

I was in a similar situation and found that talking to her helped me as a form of therapy. It's helped both of us.

Gotta get those feelings off your chest.
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>>17976554
No I don't. Together for 2 years, split for 6 months.

How did you approach talking to her
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>>17976570
I didn't approach her. She approached me.
Showed up on FB and started sending me messages after a few years. The only discussions we had prior to that was in regards to the divorce process.
At first I couldn't handle her wanting to be friends and just start talking after so long. I got mad at her and told her never to speak to me again.
It started eating me up inside until a week or so later I apologised. I had been running from what I thought was the problem (her) and decided it would be healthier to approach the issue and Se it (contact with her) as something I could take positives from.
>>
>>17976538
I had really bad anger issues when I was a child. I wouldnt know how to process my anger and it would turn to violence. You wouldn't know that by how my demeanor is in my adult life though. I am calm and relaxed and give off the chillest of vibes. You want to know my secret?
You are in control of your anger. You can choose to let things affect you to the point of letting your anger get out of hand. Your Ex is making you immensely angry for what? Did she cheat on you? Did she toy with your emotions? Like what did she do to make you so hung up on getting angry for her? Even so, it isn't your problem anymore, you guys are through so look forward.

Is she really worth still hanging up your life for an emotion that only makes you suffer? Nobody is worth fucking with your emotions man. Those are your own, which means you have some control over it if you let yourself. May take some practice to control, but really make an effort to process why you are getting so angry and what you may be able to do to help just let those emotions go. Even if that means talking to them with a friend or family member, or just manning up and going to therapy. No emotion should control your life man, especially if its over stupid women shit.

Now, thats not to say I don't get angry. I can still get to the point where I only truly let myself get angry alone otherwise I lose all rational thought, and I turn to punching things (inanimate objects, I haven't hit anybody in my fit of anger since I was young). To give you persepective, my ex of 2 years saw me truly angry once. I've only been extremely angry at work once or twice, in my 5+ years of working.

To sum it up, I have anger issues too, and my best advice is to learn how best to deal with the emotion so it doesn't control you or your life. If you can't get help through your network of support from friends/family, it might be beneficial to see a therapist.

Good luck to you anon. If you have any questions, I'll be lurking for a bit
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literally let it go

youre creating your own problems

your ex is probably hacing fun while youre still beating yourself up over it

literally do something else
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>>17976851
>literally do something else

While this anon didn't say it in the most constructive way, finding a hobby or some sort of passion may help take your mind off of your ex and your problems associated with it
>>
>>17976777
Me again

>>17976855
+1
The human psyche can't just 'let go' of feelings that have resulted from trauma or long term negative association.

It helps a lot to find a suitable place to put the feelings so you can see them resolved.

My wife and I divorced a few years after our only child passed away, and we couldn't have more kids. So we had A LOT of unresolved issues between us.

I found art photography was a suitable outlet for feelings that I couldn't control or make sense of.
What I created over the years (sometimes with intent, sometimes with intuition) represented my various issues and I was able to analyse and make sense of them without help from a professional.

Most of these issues are now completed and framed and have their own place in my past, which I can always reflect on.

That's how ai dealt with things anyway. Hope it makes sense.
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>>17976538

just live your life as if she is dead. same difference
>>
Mine just broke up with me after cheating on me and we live together till our lease is up.


Trust me i am super angry and i can easily go kill the guy who cucked me as he is in town. But i just occupy myself with friends and simply stop entertaining the thoughts anymore. Its futile as its over.

So i just never invite the thoughts in and if it dosnt leave i focus my thoughts on something else. Just remember you decide to entertain it or not.
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