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Why can't i have some personal space?

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Thread replies: 15
Thread images: 1

My bf basically ignored my existence for the last 3 years and now that i want to move out he won't even stay out of the same room and it's driving me crazy.
He takes a week off, knowing i need space right now so i can pack some of my things and every time i leave the room he has to follow.
If i sit on the couch he sits next to me,
If i sit at my computer he paces behind me, making me anxious. If i go in the bedroom it's only a matter of time before he checks on me.
What's the kindest way to tell him to fuck off?
He already knows i want to leave.
Is he doing this to hinder me?
He seemed perfectly fine being glued to his computer until i told him I'm leaving but now he won't leave me alone at all.
I'm about to kms just to get away from him.
>>
>>17976372
if you want to leave and yet you live with him, I'd say you have bigger fish to fry than him sitting next to you often

why not just fix the overall situation instead of bitching about where he sits?

that would be like if I was in a failing relationship with a girlfriend, living in *her house*, and then somehow getting up in arms because she didn't greet me nicely

no, it's a failing relationship. the fact you aren't interested in him means you should fuck off and let him go on with his life, not complain about him being attached to you

him being attached to you in spite of you not liking him is your own responsibility

dumb

>I'm about to kms just to get away from him
shut the fuck up stupid ho
>>
>>17976403
sorry for calling you a stupid ho I'm kind of drunk

but it is really pointless to be around someone you don't like and then complain that they are near you. take an ounce of responsibility for your circumstances and your life
>>
>>17976403
>>17976421
What the hell are you even trying to say? It sounds like she's with someone she doesn't like and now that she's moving out he's making the situation worse by being a clingy bitch. She is taking responsibility by trying to leave.

>>17976372
From the sound of things I guess he just assumed you would always be there so neglected you and now that you're going to leave he's really poorly trying to fix things. All I can suggest is try to tell him that you need space or even say what you're writing here about how he's suddenly interested after ignoring you for a while.
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>>17976431
If I come home every day to someone I don't like, it doesn't make sense to complain that they are near me

the obvious solution is to stop shifting blame to that person and just be an adult who breaks up instead of dragging it on and being nonsensical

she's blaming him for her own discomfort with dumping him
>>
We rented this place together so it's not *his house* because i pay half of the bills.
I am trying to prepare to move, it doesn't happen in a day, and it's hard to look at places with him breathing over my shoulder
I'm not here because i want to be, I'm stuck until i have things packed and sorted since the majority of stuff in this house are things i paid for.

>>17976437

I'm looking for the right way to ask for space because i can't focus on packing like this. I'm not a bitch im just overwhelmed and anxious.
What that other anon says is spot on about neglect and he's become an alcoholic too which really doesn't help the situation.
He can buy beer every day but makes a face if i ask him to get something we both need. I don't want to go into more detail because i have alot to complain about. Just don't assume I'm the bad guy. I really did try.
>>
>>17976437
She's complaining that he didn't care about her for 3 years apparently and now he's gotten clingy once she's about to leave him. Him being a needy weirdo when she wants nothing to do with him is the problem here.

>>17976454
Have you tried just talking to him about this? Have you simply said that you want space?
>>
>>17976463

I don't now how to approach it.
He gets angry fast, especially if he's drinking already. The worst part is, once he's drunk he forgets what i already said or pretends not to remember.
>>
>>17976476
Well shit. That's what I'd figured. Honestly I guess you just have to deal with that shit for a while longer. Just remember that you only have to be there for a little longer so just grin and bear it.

If he's a drunken asshole you're not going to be able to reason with him so there's not going to be a way to approach it. Just stay on his good side and try to get out in one piece.

I wish there was more I could say. I'm sorry you're in such a shitty situation.
>>
Oh, you told him you are going to leave. Very much my mistake there.

If you can tolerate it, do. You want the breakup to be civil. If you can't tolerate it, just politely ask for space. I don't know what else you can do, honestly.
>>
I have a family friend who was in an identical situation to yours, and he did everything in his power to hinder her leaving him. So what finally had to happen is she has to enlist the help of her best friend (my sister) and other members of our family to come get her out of there. Our presence allowed her to focus on what needed to get packed and extra hands and cars to get her out of there in one fell swoop. The bf was trying to hinder her the entire time and get her to slow down and stop, but because we were there, we acted almost as physical barriers carrying boxes and walking in and out of the apartment. He basically gave up halfway through.

So enlist friends and family to help and mediate. If you don't have any, get a moving company.
>>
>>17976493
>>17976499

Thanks anons, you're right i guess, thanks
>>
>>17976517

The moving company is a good idea.
I want to ask family but i feel like it might invite more drama. I'll see about friends, it's just hard for me to let close friends/senpai into personal issues.
>>
>>17976524
These are the exact situations that friends are for. Trust them to follow through and be there for you.

Drama will only happen if you don't create clear cut boundaroes with your family and friends first. Just tell them that you want out of the house, that they need to put their blinders on and focus on the task of moving your shit. They should not engage with your bf no matter what kind of temper tantrum he throws. Treat it like a job that needs to get done, don't allow him to manipulate the situation by being shitty, just ignore him completely.
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>>17976517
This.

I went with my family to help out a close friend leaving her dickhead boyfriend. We just helped her gather her things while he was out to make sure it was all done before he could come back and interfere.

>>17976524
If you've got close friends this would be the time to call on them for help, but if you can't let them in on your personal shit hiring people to move your stuff out could be good.

I hate to say it, but hiring some movers could also be useful if he reacts badly to you leaving. A couple big dudes helping you might temper him. At least that's my thinking.
Thread posts: 15
Thread images: 1


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