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He wants me to move in

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Am a 20 year old university student, doesn't have steady job, so basically I am broke. Yet, my boyfriend wants me to move in with him and his roommate next school year. He says that I should just focus on school and not worry about money, how he wouldn't make me pay rent. I am really not comfortable with this though, I don't want to be dependent on him and I feel like even though he says this is okay, that it actually isn't, like he will regret it a month into it. We've only been dating for a year and a few months, like I see a future with him and we have stayed with each other for prolonged periods of time, but I feel like I should wait till I am stable till I move in with him. I feel like he thinks he has to offer this because I can't really afford to live on campus next year and my only other option would be staying with my abusive mother. I don't know what to do, should I just accept this offer? I don't wanna ruin our relationship. I worry about him more than myself, I'd rather have to be in a shitty place than cause him unneeded stress or whatever. Has anyone basically supported their SO for a while? How did it go? If I were to move in with him, is there any advice on how I could be the least amount of a burden to him?
>>
get a steady job, something that gives you money every month
then move in

getting payed by everything is very comfy
and he will be prince charming at the start
but you are 2 different ppl, no matter how much you love eachother
and you will have differences
and he will rightfully think he pays for everything, he has the final say
and you will resent him for it

just a bit of money so you arent completely dependant on him
>>
He's offering this to you because he cares about you and wants you to be safe and happy. Don't reject it out of pride or because you think you'll be inconveniencing him. He's reaching out, you need to trust him enough to take his help. Especially if you think you see a future with him: how can you build a future with someone if you push them away when they try to do something to help you? Don't be foolish.

You seem like a very empathetic person so there is no doubt in my mind that if you move in with him you will understand what you can do to not be a burden. Keep your belongings and living area neat, be considerate to the roommate, and since you're not contributing to rent, see if there are other ways you can help out with keeping the apartment clean, taking care of chores, etc.
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Only been dating a year? I wouldn't move in together. I get it's for convenience, but it's like the same principle of getting a joint bank account with or marrying someone after only a year.
>>
>>17974843
By the time we'd even move in together, if It even happens, we would be dating exactly 2 years by then. I'm guessing that's still very quick though?
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>>17974849
To me personally, yes, but I'd guess the majority of people (especially our age) would disagree.
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>>17974792
I'd do it. 2 years is enough, and it would help you worry less.

Make sure you have
(1) Enough money to move out if necessary
(2) A way to contribute to the household, either taking care of the house, cooking or buying the food.
(3) Provide for yourself for everything else - don't make him buy you clothes, make up or shit like that

I took care of my now husband when we were in college. I had a scholarship and he didn't, he lived with me and I paid for rent and bills. He paid the food, and did half of the housework.
Talk to him a lot, and make sure he knows you appreciate what he does for you. Establish boundaries - he doesn't get more power or control just because he pays the bills.
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>>17974792
>Yet, my boyfriend wants me to move in with him and his roommate next school year

only and only if his roomie moves out 1st

do not fall for the - oh he'll move out next qtr b.s.
>>
>>17974792
>don't want to be a burden

Don't say this to yourself. He probably really just wants you there. He probably also doesn't want you having to stay with an abusive mother; you really shouldn't have to. Just do what the one above said and keep your space neat and try to help out. He probably legitimately doesn't care that you're not paying for it and just wants you to be able to be comfortable. This isn't saying to not search for some means of income but regardless, take his offer.
>>
It kinda depends on the guy but many will throw it in your face the moment they get mad about something.
I recommend a part time job so u can pay a share in the rent.
Waitressing is good because the tips can make a part time job payout like a full time job. This way you're not losing study time.
Definitely don't try to live with an abusive family member.
Thread posts: 10
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