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Need a quick bit of advice. I'm getting emotionally attached

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Need a quick bit of advice. I'm getting emotionally attached to a girl I just started dating, but I'm not sure if she's right for me. Now I'm just scared.

>be me
>handsome, great shape, have decent car and decent apartment
>incredibly depressed for the past 12 years, shit social life/social skills likely have aspergers (according to last therapist I saw)
>have been single for 3 over years, almost no emotional/intimate connection in that timespan
>use my looks to get dates but women quickly lose interest due to my terrible social skills/depression


Now onto my concern...

>recently gain back confidence and find a reliable way to alleviate depressive symptoms
>suddenly find myself with a big re surge in my dating life
>been on two dates with girl, pretty face but didn't see her body until the end of the 2nd date when we had sex
>find out she's overweight. i'm just simply not attracted to her body at all, sue me
>still want to see her, but part of me will always feel like i'm settling

wat do? At this point in my life I feel like I have gone so long without intimacy or companionship that I should just go for it. But I suspect that if I don't break things off now, I'll be too afraid of hurting her later. This girl is a total sweetheart and I like her for her character very much, but I don't have the heart to tell her that her body is unnattractive to me...call me shallow I don't care but the reality is I can't control what I'm attracted to but I'm already too attached to her that I'm not sure what I should even do.
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>>17974211
Don't settle
Try to break things off as politely as possible and don't mention the real reason why
>>
>>17974217
I'm a super blunt and honest person, but I refuse to ever tell a girl the truth in a situation like this, I don't know how I could come up with a legitimate reason because I really like her personality.

It just fucking sucks because I had already started to get attached before I saw her naked. I've enjoyed being single for the most part and I don't need women to "complete me" but without some fucking intimacy in my life real soon I'm just going to fall into another depressive rut.
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>>17974211
I don't think a girl is worth settling For after two dates
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>>17974211
Dont fall into the fatty trap
Lots of tears down the line if you dont cut it off now
>>
>>17974231
I've dated somewhere around 15 different women in the past couple of years and nothing worked out with any of them. I'm too depressed to attract any women in my life and I'm afraid of staying single for another 3 years. The lack of companionship (and friendship) in my life is driving me to the point of suicide

I mean I have been setting up dates with other women alongside this one but nothing has happened with the others yet.
>>
>>17974234
I mean I wouldn't call her fat, but she's definitely overweight. Her thighs are just fucking atrocious.

I have dated slightly overweight women in the past and I had that same nagging voice in my head the whole time. I feel like she is already attached to that's why this is so hard for me, I do not want to be dishonest towards her like this and just cut it off for some stupid bs reason
>>
Tycho is amazing
>>
>>17974488
agree
>>
>>17974211
If she really loves you she'll go to fat camp for you.
>>
>>17974607
Sad thing is that she used to be lighter. But you should never date someone and expect them to change for you
>>
Bamp
>>
idk why im bumping this, i already have an answer. but i think she likes me a lot and i dont have the heart to do this to someone. but i know what i have to do...
>>
>>17974211
>tycho pic
>be me
>be handsome, great shape, have decent car and apartment

man, c'mon now
ease up on all of that
>>
>>17976397

Not op but I don't get it

Tycho is legit
>>
>>17976402
it's okay to like some tycho but to be all

>I identify with tycho
>my car is decent
>my doc says I have aspergers

wow stop
if you have aspergers be like one of the cool ones instead of American psycho
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>>17976405

Blah I still don't get it

Are you saying he's a turbo normies pretending to have aspbergers?
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>>17976408
i'm being really abstract, sorry

well it's just not good to identify with a bunch of neutral sounding mellow blips and sounds, unless zen is your religion or something

it's weird for someone to call themselves handsome and judge their worth by the quality of their car and living space

it really is like the movie American psycho, you should probably go see it.
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>>17976416
It is sort of a cold persona he's painted for himself. As a sperg, I'd say that kind of thinking is easy to apply to things. It's like an equation:

"If I do X I'll get Y"

It just fits cause it makes logical sense in your head. But it doesn't say anything about the nuance of life.

"If I'm decent looking, own a car, have a flat, and etc; I should be happy and loved."

Is an easy, and intuitive thing for us to think. People who have all these things get those things. But it's harder, even painful, to see that they're the result of somebody just being more well adjusted than you. Because if they are, these things aren't so difficult. And because you aren't, they are. So you just want to think that if you copy what you see that they have, you'll get what they have.

The alternative is actually processing the meanings of all the things we do and say to each other. For normies, that's what their intuition is. For us, it sometimes takes more introspection that we're either able or willing to put forth.
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>>17976478
I should add that it sort of adds this layer of objectification to a person's life: That a person is just a rote list of rewards that they have all the necessary qualities to have received. Why do it to yourself unless you're avoiding introspection?
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>>17976478
it's an intuitive way to think, but it would be wrong
I could have a mansion and a tesla and be alone
I could have no car and a room and be with someone

it's not only failing to see the nuance it's failing to see how people work

a car and a flat are fantastic, but they only make life easier. they certainly don't enable (and the lack of doesn't disable) people's ability to love you
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>>17976397
>>17976405
I don't like Tycho, I can't stand them. I just think it's a really cool album cover, calm the fuck down
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>>17976478
I mentioned the superficial details just to clarify that I wasn't an overweight guy living in his parents basement
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>>17976507
you guys are way overthinking this. i thought this board was like r9k so i felt the need to qualify that I have a relatively "normal" life in the most basic sense
>>
Is she THAT bad? Like.. what's your definition of overweight, op?

You couldn't tell what her body was like before you had sex? Did she wear a moomoo?
Thread posts: 25
Thread images: 1


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