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my bf has turned absolutely boring since we are dating. how do

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my bf has turned absolutely boring since we are dating. how do i deal with this? i love him, but man he got lame...
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>>17972678
maybe he's not attracted to you anymore and stopped trying. You know how they say the chase is exciting, but the catch is disappointing.
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Boring how?
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>>17972680
not in that way. he just developed into the dead weight of everything we want to do with friends. he takes the fun out of everything.
all he wants do do is basically lie in bed with me and fuck or cuddle. which is pretty dope, but not ALL i want to do all the time
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>>17972703
>all he wants do do is basically lie in bed with me and fuck or cuddle
>all the time
I hope you don't just say this because anon implied your bf is no longer attracted to you kek that doesn't sound like a realistic person
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>>17972715
i'm not joking...
two weeks ago we were out with friends and he kept pestering me to go home again so we can fuck. ultimately, he convinced his friends to go home since he was the designated driver.
last weekend i asked him if we could do sonething on sunday and he kept avoiding the topic and when i asked him directly he said he rather just stay home and cuddle.
we once went to disney world and on our way home he said he he never wants to do anything lie that again and that he didn't enjoy this one single bit since he knew we could also be at home and comfy instead
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>>17972703
>all he wants do do is basically lie in bed with me and fuck or cuddle

lol

yes it is time for you to get a new bf - all he wants is sex from you - or he is just an autistic dweeb
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>>17972734
not even the case.
i guess autism is more like it.
but how do i deal with this? i feel like he had to try and not be too autistic when he was single and now he can finally be the couch potatoe he always actually was. i feel a bit cheated desu. i knew i need a guy that won't just be lazy at home and that was what he WAS when we started dating...
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>>17972678
Your boyfriend is a fucking boat anchor.
Talk to him about it, if he's willing to try to go out on dates or do something that doesn't involve cuddling and fucking, great.
If not, get rid of that fucker and move on.
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>>17972747
i could cajole him into a weekend trip two weeks ago. we literally ended up almost only spend the time in the hotel room.
i have talked to him and he said he just doesn't see the point to do something if all he does if we're not home is long for the moment we are home again. he said he doesn't like going out because then i'm "too far away". mind you, we have been dating since more than a year, this isn't just full blown honeymoon phase
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>>17972753

he's a nutter
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>>17972753
Seriously? Somethings not right about him. From what you're saying that this relationship is going on for a year and he pretty much reverted to a hornball hermit, you should give him an ultimatum.
Either he bucks up and goes out with you or go your separate ways.

Relationship is a two way deal. You do shit that he likes and he does shit you like. If it's all one sided, it's not going to work. Sorry, you're gonna have to be tough and play the adult. Hope it works out.
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>>17972770
>Hope it works out
OP is here so it's obviously not gonna kek
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What if... hold on tight this might sounds crazy, I might be onto something revolutionary,

What if... he's having some sort of problem right now?

Nah, who am I kidding.
Dump him because he clearly doesn't deserve you.
If a man has any sort of issue and doesn't solve it by himself then hes a loser, specially if he's in a relatioship.

I'm being sarcastic.
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>>17972777
and it might have nothing to do with the bf too
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>>17972777
Kek no shit. Like asking a rapist about how to get laid for the first time.
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>>17972779
yeah... but come on. i've asked him a million times and he tells me all is good. i also see no other idicators for a problem. i try to be understanding and i also make a lot of compromises to not push him tol hard. i also don't want to go out all the time. just not that hermit crap we are pulling atm

i get your sarcasm...
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>>17972777
>>17972783
>>17972784
what are you talking about? are you implying i did something wrong for this to "happen"?
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>>17972788
Your relationship is one sided. Your bending backwards to your boyfriend's needs, and he's doing nothing for you except screaming murder when you open the door to the outside.

He's being a fucking wierdo. You are now wearing the pants in that relationship.
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>>17972792
i don't want to do anything like "give ultimatums". i actually just want to know wtf is going on so i can deal with it properly and talking to him doesn't yield sny results so i thought i ask you guys. maye someone understands and can explain it to me
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>>17972790
No, I'm on your side trying to give advice (even though it's shitty advice.)
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>>17972788
Hell are we supposed to know that if you don't elaborate at least a bit in the OP?
do you really wanna go through an interrogatory to get the relevant stuff out?

Have you tried outright telling him you don't appreciate how he's behaving?
making compromises is not useful if there's not comunication, you're simply letting him have it his way.
Be outspoken about this and see how he answers, then go from there, try to keep a calm and reasonable conversation though.
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>>17972798
i do tell him. i mean, when we were out, i told him i want to stay and everybody else didn't want to go home either. i asked him what's wrong and if hems not having any fun. he said it was ok but he would rather just go home. i said i'm sorry but he got out numbered. after that he just made such a long face and kept being crumpy till everybody wasn't in the mood for partying anymore and we went home.
same with the other occasions. i try to not ALWAYS give in, but if i tag him allng he just ruins everything for everybody so i have, admittedly, startet to just stay home instead.

i don't know what infos might be relevant and didnmt want to hit you with a wall of text.
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>>17972817
does he have some money issues or some shit? have you told him you think he is being a downer sometimes? Maybe you should just go out without him every now and then until he gives in? Maybe involve him more when you guys go out? I don't even know you make him out to be like a kid who doesn't want to do anything besides stay home and sex, lol.
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>>17972817
>i mean, when we were out, i told him
No that's not what I meant,
it's probably no use telling him while he's doing it, you need to talk with him, one on one, specifically about this.

There's gonna be a moment when you're at home with him and outright tell him that the way he's acting is detrimental to your (plural) social life, and he either needs to spit out if he's having some problems or if he's genuinely a sack of potatoes your both gonna need to make some compromises,
and then hammer out what you want, what he's willing to do, and what he wants.
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>>17972832
that's because he is actually behaving like a kid that wants to stay home and fuck.

he has more money than he ever had before.
the only concern he voices is that "we don't spend enough time together".
i've tried to go out alone but he is basicslly going mental when i do. he doesn't even want me to go get groceries without him...
those are mainly his friends. i can't involve him. he would have to involve himself. he isn't being left out. he is locking himself out.
i mean, i understand he wants to spend time with me on the weekends. we can't see each other during the week atm due to our jobs (he works abroad). but why does "spending time together" ALWAYS have to be staying home? i, for my part, enjoy being out and about with him just as much...
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>>17972837
i took it up again after he refused to go to a class reunion because he wanted to stay home. he also have canceled plans with friends on a few occasions. i told him he needs to be careful or he will fuck up his social life and that he will regret that. i said i like spending time with him at home but that he can't just not see his friends anymore. i didn't get anything substancial out of him. just the same old "i just need you and a bed and nothing else".
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>>17972854
>i just need you and a bed and nothing else
And what did you answer to that?
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>>17972854
Your boyfriend needs a therapist. Already told you that your bending backwards for him and he is not doing shit for you.
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>>17972856
that i like spending comfy time with him too but that i don't want to turn into a hermit because of that. to whoch he had no answer. and that i think he isn't being a good friend atm. to which he replied he doesn't care.
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>>17972859
>he is not doing shit for you.
or OP is leaving out this part
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>>17972859
what for? what could he work out with a therapist that he can't talk out with me?
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>>17972866
he does a lot of things for me. he's a realy good bf. the things he does just don't have anything to do with the issue i'm having.
don't get me wrong. i love him. and we have a pretty good relationship. this is just bothering me because on saturday, we are invited to a birthday party and i don't want it to end the same again. i just want to have a good time with some other people too.
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>>17972864
This is clearly one sided, he wants X but is not willing to compromise for you to have Y.

>>17972869
You don't have the point of view and the impartiality a therapist has (don't pick a psychologist please).
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>>17972678
do you expect him to be a fucking clown?
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>>17972703
Ahhh.. I see

you got him feenin'

https://youtu.be/KvRKzgw_p1Y
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>>17972897
lol
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>>17972884
there's a sane middle ground between a clown and a hermit

>>17972897
wut?
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>>17972882
i know. but i don't think 10 horses could pull him to therapy
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Your boyfriend is an introvert.

You're an extrovert.

Congratulations.

Next.
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>>17972953
you got him feeeniiiin'

:^]
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>>17972678
>>>17972864
>This is clearly one sided, he wants X but is not willing to compromise for you to have Y.
>
>>>17972869
>You don't have the point of view and the impartiality a therapist has (don't pick a psychologist please).

I called this shit out in the beginning for OP.
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>>17972965

You are so fucking stupid

I dont even reply to this kind of shitty bait replies but you are so fucking retarded i had to jesus christ
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Do you guys have money? I'm a broke college student so I hate going out to dinner and movies because that shit adds up, but I like doing free shit like hiking and kayaking. Is he opposed to doing anything fun, or just the (((fun))) that involves spending money.
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>>17972965
What? That's not how it works fram
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>>17973189
nah, we both work full time and have good salaries (together we make about 150'000) money is no issue. he's also not one that's cheap at all
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>>17972790
They are just projecting. Don't worry about them
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>>17973212
>t.projector
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>>17972753
OP, maybe your boyfriend has depression? When did he start acting like this? Was the change sudden?
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dont be his mom, tho
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he just wants to fuck you all the time
>t. bf who is horny 24/7

we fixed this issue by doing the fucking and cuddling before going out
i dont feel the need to drag her to bed while going out, i enjoy it aswell, and i can still fuck and cuddle her once we are done socializing
and i am actually fun to be around since sex is not all that fills my mind
win win situation
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I am the female version of your boyfriend. I love being at home, cooking and cleaning when I'm not working or studying. My boyfriend is a bit opposite, he likes to go out with his friends and get drunk. We don't have mutual friends so in the past, he's felt obligated to stay at home with me but now I'm pushing him to go out with his friends more often. I enjoy my alone time and play league or something...

You could try talking to him about it and have 1 night a week where you go out.
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When a girl i want to fuck wants me to shit with her but i don't is because I don't care about her vapid fucking interests. If your bf doesn't have a job he's a lazy shit. If you're pestering him to keep you entertained i suggest you develop a life outside your relationship, be independent,go out with your mates and have hobbies. He will chase you again when he realizes you'renot going to be in bed 24/7 with him.

Also being older than 22 might help.
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>dating only a year
>have already moved in together

Why do people do this
Thread posts: 54
Thread images: 2


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