My girlfriend of 1 year and 9 months today told me she is getting her first pap test done next week. She also told me she is getting an STD checkup as well. I'd also add that for 4 months of the year we do LDR.
This confuses me as we have been together for nearly 2 years. She knows I am clean (I had tests done when we began dating so she knows for a fact that I'm clean). She said she hasn't had a check for STDs since about 6 months before we started dating. I still find it very strange that she is getting an STD checkup now out of the blue given we have been together for almost 2 years and 0 signs/symptoms of an STD. She's currently in another city at the moment (the past few months has been back in her home city) so naturally I find it a bit odd. When I asked her about it she said she feels really bad now for telling me, she also said that she wanted to tell me 'in case the STD checkup said I have something'.
Is this suspicious/weird?
She fucked tyrone.
On its own its not odd.
Add ldr and another city and it does raise an eyebrow
My gut never lied to me about these things, no matter how much she lied in opposition.
>>17972318
Yeah its a bit weird. Her logic is that she hasn't had an STD check 6 months prior to us dating. But why now all of a sudden when we've been dating for 2 years and she's never thought she should get it done? The LDR currently makes things a bit suspicious, not to mention how she kept going on about how guilty she felt telling me that she's getting an STD test..
>>17972318
Oh I forgot to add she is pretty shy and would only see her female personal doctor for health check ups - who is in the other city.
>>17972313
I do check ups every year - a STD test and a PAP test.
I don't use a condom with my boyfriend. A close friend of mine got HIV from her husband because he fucked whores on the side. It scared the shit out of me and I get paranoid, even if I am 99% sure my boyfriend is faithful.
>>17972313
She would never have told you unless there is a great possibility she MUST tell you as any decent human would so you can be treated.
While it's possible one of her past lovers contact her because he had something and she should be tested it is more likely she balled someone more recent, knows they have something or she has symptoms. You should get tested right away OP. Don't be blind and stupid.
>>17972323
Well, if she didn't get tested before your relationship, and she's already going to be there she probably is thinking "why not". Especially considering she's never had a pap or panel done.
Did you actually show her your results?
Maybe she wants to check to see if you've been off with someone. Even if there's no reason to be sus, she just may be as curious of you as you are of her.
>>17972335
She's been gone for a few months so we haven't had sex since November. I truly hope shes just getting tested for reasons >>17972339 said, but it makes me wonder if she cheated and thats why she's getting tested..
>>17972339
That's what she's saying and it makes sense, but it still doesn't really sit well with me.
>Did you actually show her your results?
I did yes
>>17972345
please don't be stupid here OP. I ended up in the hospital with my kidneys shutting down and my wonderful cunt of a wife stood bedside calmly as the doctor narrowed it down to Hepatitis. Took a week and battery of test and she finally broke down and admitted to cheating but here's the real kicker she was kind enough to notify the guy she cheated with he better see a doctor, a courtesy she didn't give me.
>>17972359
Jesus. Thats fucking horrible. I hope you're doing fine anon.
He's right OP. Do not take any chances now. Go get yourself tested too. Her being outside town and the sudden check for std is fucking weird.
>inb4 some retards come in and tell you that you should trust your spouse and now the relationship is doomed since you don't trust her anymore
>>17972371
I may do this anyway, but if she cheated I assume it was within the time she has been away since November (and obviously we haven't had sex in that time frame because she's 100s of miles away)
I'd be suspicious too OP. There are some STDs that can come from other sources (chlamydia, if I'm not mistaken, is a fungus that can show up from somewhere else)
BUT, the circunstances and excuse she gave for it allows you to be suspicious...
>>17972313
I am a paranoid as fuck guy, but, if she is like me, she would just get periodically checked to be sure that she didn't get infect through other means (some hospital treatment or whatever). BUT if I were her, I'd tell my partner that I like to get both of us checked periodically. I wouldn't do this by myself and suddenly reveal it to my partner.
>>17972326
I'd fuck professionals on the side, but I'm very careful about STDs and loyal (I wouldn't get romantically involved).
>>17972402
Unless your partner knows you're fucking professionals, you're not loyal. You commit to be sexually and romantically monogamous, and you're breaking that promise.
>>17972359
I'm really sorry that happened anon. I definitely will take your advice on board
>>17972404
I'm romantically loyal as fuck and I also wouldn't fuck normal girls, only professionals. I'm faulty, I know, but that's who I am.
Prostitutes aren't cheating.
>>17972410
You're a cheater. Of course you are.
Unless your girlfriend knows what you're doing, you totally are.
>>17972400
I think she's going on the logic she may have gotten an STD from someone she slept with prior to us dating. Its definitely suspicious but not sure how to go about handling it. If I accuse her of cheating then the relationship will be fucked, if I just ignore it/have faith she is telling the truth (when my gut doesn't agree with it) it will forever be mental torture of 'what if'
>>17972402
I too am very paranoid.
>>17972413
Probably not a big deal and just getting it done while she's there. Otherwise she would not have told you.
It's not that weird anon. Some std's can lie dormant for a few years and can affect fertility as well as cause cancers of the reproductive system in women. Which is probably why she is getting tested along with a pap smear. It's not unusual to do both and her doctor probably suggested it.
>>17972410
>Prostitutes aren't cheating.
KEK
>>17972420
I hope this is the case
>>17972448
no it's not
I usually see different escort each time so it's all good
>>17972410
Honestly, as a girl, I value romantic loyalty miles more than sexual loyalty but you should still tell your girlfriend/wife. It's a lot less about the sex than it s about lying.
>>17972321
Yep.
>>17972448
It isn't because they put penis in vagina professionally.
>>17972514
Is "don't ask, don't tell" lying?
>>17972514
Wish my gf is like you
>>17972313
FYI there are quite a few STDs that can asymptomatic for years before they can be detected. HPV is one of those, plus there isn't even a test for males. It also causes cervical cancer if it goes untreated
But sure, accuse your girlfriend of being a slut because she wants to have a routine health test done. I'm sure you'll make for a nice story for when she dumps your ignorant ass
>>17972531
>plus there isn't even a test for males
That's sexist! CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE, FEMALES!
>>17972541
Well the test for females involved getting little pieces of your cervix chopped off an analyzed.. so if YOU want a punch biopsy done on your dick I'm sure they'd love volunteers
>>17972521
As long as she knows clearly what you're doing.
>>17972528
I think it's a confidence issue, more than anything. Most girls would feel threatened that their loved ones is going to bed to someone probably a lot more attractive than her.
And I have a somewhat low sexual drive and I really don't want to force it on my partner.
RATIONALITY RATIONALITY ATTENTION
It's not suspicious in itself. It's healthy. Now, if you have other reasons to believe she might be cheating, I do see how her getting what seems to be an unnecessary STI test would be a cause for concern. Try to see the testing from her point of view, and then address your concerns about her loyalty directly, instead of over-focusing on the test (which is actually a good, healthy, ratiinal choice for her to make.)
PS: sorry that you have been hurt in the pasr and haven't found anyone to implicitly trust. Life is far from ideal, and cheaters make it much, much harder to stay positive...
>>17972550
Most girls would not allow me, so what do I gain by telling her?
About the confidence issue, they shouldn't feel that, it's like going to a nice restaurant for penises every now and then.
>>17972550
>low sexual drive
for real? thought that's just a meme
My gf and I have about the same sex drive, but she got extremely butthurt when I even give her sister a long look.
>>17972562
Well your girlfriend should do that too.
That way you're both going to nice restaurants.
>>17972591
Girls are NOT able to get strictly sexually involved. Besides that, us guys care a lot about sexually cheating.
Also, there is no such thing as "nice restaurant for vaginas".
>>17972600
I think dont is a better word than cant, and guys are often the same way. The whole "men are more horny and don't have feelings" thing is a myth
>>17972562
I believe a relationship is built around trust and love, lying won't really help both of you in the end.
You'd be surprised at the amount of girls that would be ok with it. I, personally, had a change of heart after reading a little more on philosophy and monogamy in general.
One of my favorite animals are parrots, and one of the interesting facts about them is that, besides humans, they're one of the only monogamous animals. But that's not exactly the whole truths, studies have shown that while parrots remains as couples their entire lifetime, they are not faithful. It's probably a device to maintain genetic variation in the species, but the gist of it is that they usually have various sexual partners but remain as one couple.
After learning about that I started reading more about human sexuality, about how men are polygamous by nature - and after reflecting over the way I want to live I came to my conclusion.
Before telling her you could always try to make her reach the same conclusion.
>>17972580
Well, it is usually used as an excuse to not have sex, but it's real.
I have some hormonal imbalance, and I could take meds to make it better but I've read some research that they can affect your fertility and having kids is one of my goals in life so I simply choose not to.
Either way I'd probably have the same stance I do even if I had a normal sex drive.
>>17972609
>and guys are often the same way
Really? Am I a rarity by not getting romantically involved?
>>17972612
Have you talked with your female friends about this? As you said, I'd certainly surprised if most girls would be OK with it. Where do you live?
Anyway, thanks for the educative reply. We rarely have nice debates on 4chan.
>>17972641
No ur not a rarity. Theres a goods portion of males and females who like casual
>>17972655
You've just said most people have feelings for casuals/whores.
Admit it, I am a special snowflake.
>>17972641
>>17972655
>>17972695
this is off topic of OP
>>17972359
I hope you at least divorced her.
>>17972612
fuck you are brainwashed. Monogamy is the foundation of the family. Fundamentally the reason men care about fidelity is that they don't want to be raising some other bastard's child. A child is born, everyone knows who the mother is, but not who the father is. Unless the woman was faithful.
Men aren't polygamous by nature any more than women are, that's a myth just like the "hurr men have no feelings dey jus wan sex".
You're also laughably wrong about parrots being the only monogamous animal. I know albatrosses are monogamous and they mate for life, no cheating involved. If that so called fact is seriously the foundation of your attitude to relationships, you are fucking dumb.
>>17973659
I'm sure anon did.
>>17972531
If this were the actual reason why wouldn't she say that in the first place?
>>17972410
I hope it's the same situation when you decide you want to settle down and she takes four cocks at once behind your back.
But don't worry it wasn't cheating in her opinion because she didn't let them cum inside her.
>>17972313
>Is this suspicious/weird?
No clue. We don't know you or your girlfriend or the nature of your relationship. Anything we could possibly say about her behavior is just random speculation.
STDs can remain dormant for a years, particularly HPV which can case cancer and infertility so there is a good possibility that she's like me and is super paranoid and just tossed in the STD check while she's in the doctors office for peace of mind.
There's a possibility it could be something else, we don't know. Just take all the crazy assumptions here with a grain of salt because we literally know nothing about who your girlfriend is as a person. We know nothing about your relationship. We don't have nearly enough information to make anything resembling an informed analysis of this situation.
Talk to her. Tell her your concerns. You should be talking to your girlfriend about your worries in your relationship, not us.
>>17973953
>If this were the actual reason why wouldn't she say that in the first place?
Perhaps OP is routinely so paranoid and quick to accuse his girlfriend of cheating that she finds it easier not to tell him things than deal with his insecurity and accusations. Keeping your super jealous boyfriend out of the loop because his insecurity is a pain in your ass isn't exactly a rare occurrence.
Just a theory.
>>17972313
>She's currently in another city at the moment
Bra im sorry about your new ex girlfriend
Unless your into clucking
>>17974030
>You should be talking to your girlfriend about your worries in your relationship, not us.
That's a good point, I do like to go outside perspective on things though as it helps my decision process
>>17974035
I've never accused her of cheating before, or been overbearing/trust issues.
>Keeping your super jealous boyfriend out of the loop because his insecurity is a pain in your ass isn't exactly a rare occurrence.
This doesn't make sense when I'm being 'kept in the loop' as you put it
MAYBE she is suspicious that you are cheating on her?
>>17974186
I doubt it
>>17972313
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifd7xLgUnX8
She is a smart girl for doing that. Guys cheat so it's good to stay healthy.
>>17972313
Dunno what's up with your girlfriend, but my doctor would insist on giving me a pap smear and std checkup for my physical every year or she wouldn't renew my birth control prescription, even when I wasn't sexually active. It was a pain because I fucking hate the speculum and swab. My sis had to go through the same thing.
I think I read somwhere that the pap test looks for chances of cervical cancer that can occur even without sex, and since they go and get their samples anyway they usually run through a few other routine common std tests just in case as regular procedure.
no she loves you and only you.
believe her and listen to her. nothing can possibly go wrong in your relationship. women abroad are known to be faithful angels, especially in 2017
rest easy OP. all you have to worry about is being a nice boyfriend.